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1 out of 4 people found the following review useful:

Collinwood is not Little Italy

1/10
Author: (majic-5) from United States
25 November 2007

Plot Synopsis: A petty thief is given the outline of a big heist by a cellmate lifer who can't cash in on the idea. Slapstick ensues as the thief and his neighborhood cadre of stumblebums attempt to pull of the heist.

This film is a half-assed translation of an Italian movie. For instance, the characters' names remain Italian, despite the fact that the *white* main characters live in Cleveland's, poor, *black* neighborhood of Collinwood. The dialog has a European sensibility to it, and it sounds completely wrong coming out of American's mouths. Patricia Clarkson couldn't play a low-class broad if her life depended on it. Oh, and I'm not a fan of slapstick, either. I turned off this movie about halfway through.

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1 out of 4 people found the following review useful:

A flat remake of a brilliant original

Author: R. J. (jorge.mourinha@gmail.com) from Lisbon
10 January 2003

Steven Soderbergh once said that if you are going to remake a film you should always choose a not very good one, because a remake of a good one will never live up to the original, good as it may be. One wonders, therefore, why he should produce (under the banner of the Section Eight company he has with George Clooney) a remake of "Big Deal on Madonna Street", a film generally regarded as one of the great classic comedies, about how a crew of clumsy, incompetent losers take on the perfect heist. This is especially strange because brothers Anthony and Joe Russo 's take on the material is both reverently faithful to the original and also strikingly and surprisingly unfunny, which is a bit of a paradox since Mario Monicelli's 1958 classic was a riot. The actors - a motley cast of some of Hollywood's finest character and supporting players, with full marks for Sam Rockwell, Luis Guzman, Michael Jeter and Isaiah Washington - are not at fault, since they're evidently having fun with the stylized neo-noir dialogue and relish the opportunity of playing a bunch of well-meaning but utterly dimwitted losers. It's the writer-directors that seem unable to give the film the lightness of touch and speedy rhythm their way of dialogue desperately needs. Even at a trim 90 minutes the movie seems longish and predictable, especially if you've seen the original; but if you haven't it's very likely "Welcome to Collinwood" won't pass muster anyway.

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1 out of 4 people found the following review useful:

A Waste of Great Talent

6/10
Author: jwinters-2 from United States
14 October 2002

This should have been a great movie. Instead it lacked any coherence any originality and a failure to take advantage of the incredible talent. Despite the absence of any great lines, the acting was superb. I laughed exactly four times. Sad.

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2 out of 6 people found the following review useful:

Welcome to Collinwood...gotta see it!

10/10
Author: fidji_tiki from montreal
3 August 2006

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

One of the funniest movies ever made. My husband and I have seen this movie many times, and we kill ourselves laughing every time. Man, if they made all criminals like these guys, we wouldn't need jails! Too funny! Gotta love loose underwear! ha!!! see the movie to find out why! I've gotta find a copy of this to keep!

If you like crazy criminals, you should see this movie. I saw it first time a few years ago, and couldn't remember the name, but now that I know, I'm going to go find myself a copy on Amazon to keep. If you ever see guys waiting around at a bus stop and they are dressed funny, you'll know why after seeing this film

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2 out of 6 people found the following review useful:

Not so funny

3/10
Author: Hamburg Filmfan from Germany
4 March 2005

This movie brings us nearly the same story as the 1984 film "Crackers" directed by Louis Malle and I am a little surprised that there is no reference to the writer of "Crackers" Jeffrey Alan Fiskin. I don't know why but this film must have been a must-do for George Clooney (because he is a producer). I don't think he should do this because it is not as funny as the original movie. Louis Malle's film contains warm and friendly characters, well portrayed by Jack Warden, Donald Sutherland and the young Sean Penn. Not only that "Welcome to Collinwood" bored me, I was especially disappointed because I am a real fan of William H. Macy. Nevertheless he was the best of the bad.

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2 out of 6 people found the following review useful:

welcome to boringville

4/10
Author: Jasper McCrea from London, England
28 April 2003

Buyoed by the trailers, I expected to be at least mildly entertained with such a strong cast. Not a chance. This was just terrible.

Sam Rockwell is the only actor here who emerges unscathed, putting in a strong performance. The usually infallible William H Macy is terrible. I can only hope he was prompted into the most apalling overacting I've seen since Sly Stallone in Judge Dredd by the obviously incompetent writer/directors.

I've seen worse, but if I were you, I wouldn't waste the time watching this on tv.

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2 out of 6 people found the following review useful:

Painfully unfunny (to me at least)

1/10
Author: Carl Wohlschlegel (vogueman@hotmail.com) from Louisville, KY
21 February 2003

This has got to be one of the worst films I've ever seen that was made with legitimately talented people. I can't believe that there were actually people who liked it. But, as I've always insisted, our sense of humor is the most individualistic sense we've got. No matter how closely any two people might agree in taste, there will inevitably be something that one finds funny and the other doesn't. So just because I found it tasteless and heavy-handed, that doesn't mean that there won't be viewers who will find it hilarious.

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3 out of 8 people found the following review useful:

What? This is a 'good' movie?

1/10
Author: Andrew Jones from United Kingdom
25 July 2005

I read about 10 comments of this movie and decided that it must be good, all gave it 4-5/5. For starters the reviews must have got their heist movies mixed up, the good one with George Clooney is called Oceans Eleven, got that? Eleven, and that is set in Vegas not some dull, rubbish, run down place in America that no one has heard of. The major problem is the words they use, what the hell is a Bellini or Kapihnick? did they just make up some random language that England has never heard of just to annoy us. It does nothing to the heist genre and to be perfectly honest, nothing to movies anywhere, besides showing people how not to make a movie.

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3 out of 8 people found the following review useful:

Utter rubbish

1/10
Author: richard-537 from Edinburgh, Scotland
27 January 2004

When I went to rent this, the box was covered in four and five stars, hailing it as the film of the year etc.

One hour and 18ish minutes later, I was sat dumbstruck. What a load of rubbish. Weak plot, no character depth, and a dire ending.

Why do film companies pump millions into drivel like this? If this film brings you one ounce of pleasure you need to get out more. Avoid at all costs. Oh, and as for sticking a large picture of George Clooney on the cover (UK edition), don't be fooled into thinking he's in it - blink and you'll miss his very brief appearance (5 minutes or so).

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3 out of 8 people found the following review useful:

Worthless film about worthless people

1/10
Author: rps-2 from Bracebridge Ont
5 November 2003

Well, it was done in Cleveland and that's hardly a hotbed of cinematic genius.

This is an appallingly bad film about worthless people in a blighted neighbourhood. They and their movie lack morals, intelligence and character. Neither the characters nor the plot have a single redeeming feature. They are senselessly violent with each other, they smoke incessantly and whats more, they do all this with a small child present much of the time. A film should leave you questioning things. This one certainly does that. You question why anybody would produce such a horrendous piece of crap!

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