Christmas Carol (1978 TV Movie)
W.C. Fields as Scrooge: He once told me to treat the warehouse like it was my own.
Humphrey Bogart: What did you do?
W.C. Fields as Scrooge: I sold it.
Paul Lynde as Bob Cratchit: Do you know he's so cheap he even has a burglar alarm on his garbage cans?
Oliver Hardy: We were wondering if you would like to make a small donation for the poor.
W.C. Fields as Scrooge: Ah, no.
Stan Laurel: In that case, how would you like to make a large donation?
W.C. Fields as Scrooge: Not interested. When I give to charity I wish to remain anonymous. That's why I don't give anything.
Oliver Hardy: But sir! What are we going to tell the poor, the needy and the destitute?
W.C. Fields as Scrooge: Ah, tell them to use Hamburger Helper.
Stan Laurel: Well that a wonderful idea Ollie. I bet they never thought of that!