Rush Hour 2 (2001)
James Carter: Who died, Lee?
James Carter: Detective Yu?
Lee: Not Yu, you!
James Carter: Who?
James Carter: Who?
Lee: Do you understand the words that are a-coming out of my mouth?
James Carter: Don't nobody understand the words that are comin' out of your mouth.
Lee: Let me tell you something about Asians, we never panic.
James Carter: Oh yeah, when Godzilla be coming, y'all be trippin': "Giaca! Giaca!"
Lee: These men are Triads. The most deadly gang in China.
James Carter: You think they scare me? I'm from Los Angeles, man. We invented gangs!
[Carter attempted to speak Chinese to everybody but had no idea what he said]
James Carter: What did I just say?
Lee: You told everyone to take out their Samurai swords and shave your butt.
Lee: You are a civilian. In Hong Kong, *I* am Michael Jackson and *you* are Toto.
James Carter: You mean Tito! Toto is what we ate for dinner last night!
James Carter: Couldn't help noticin' how she was staring at a brother.
Lee: She never even look at you.
James Carter: You just jealous, Lee, 'cause women like me. I'm tall, dark and hansome and you third world ugly.
Lee: I am not third world ugly, women think I'm cute. Like Snoopy.
James Carter: Lee, Snoopy is 6 inches taller than you.
[Carter throws Lee's CD out the window]
Lee: That's my CD! Don't you ever touch a Chinese man's CD!
James Carter: You know, we could have been a good couple. We could have had something special. But you one crazy-ass bitch!
James Carter: Just tell me how the Triads gonna kill us.
Lee: They will torture us for three days.
James Carter: Okay, I can handle that.
Lee: Then they will cut off our eggrolls.
James Carter: Cut off our eggrolls? Oh hell no! We gotta get out of here! Don't give up!
Lee: Just follow my lead. Act like a tourist.
James Carter: I am a tourist, fool!
James Carter: [In a casino] I have a dream! That white people, and black people... and even Chinese people, can gamble together without getting different chips!
Audience: [Applause, Cheering]
James Carter: [Sees that Lee no longer needs a distraction] Whoa, whoa, whoa... in the spirit of brotherhood... let's just play craps man.
[about to fight Hu Li]
James Carter: I'm gonna pretend you a man. A very beautiful man with a great body that I'd like to take to the movies.
Kenny: [pointing to Carter] Why are you hangin' with 7-11?
Kenny: Yeah, his mouth never closes.
James Carter: [in English] Hey I heard that!
James Carter: How come you ain't got no black people performing in this casino? We ain't good enough for you?
Pit Boss: We got Lionel Ritchie!
James Carter: Lionel Ritchie ain't been black since the commodores!
Old Lady on Stairs in Bamboo-Climbing Fight: [to James Carter] Move aside, Kobe!
James Carter: Don't be messing with me, Lee. I will kick your ass. I'll hit you so hard you'll end up in the Ming Dynasty. I mean it, I'll bitch slap you back to Bangkok!
James Carter: Lee, let me introduce you to Carter's new theory of criminal investigation: follow the rich white man.
Lee: Follow the rich white man?
James Carter: Behind every big crime there's a rich white man waiting for his cut.
James Carter: I can't believe I flew 10,000 miles for this shit!
[Carter tried to pick up two girls in Chinese]
James Carter: All I did was invite them to have a drink.
Lee: You invited them to get naked and sacrifice a small goat.
James Carter: Which word was 'goat'?
James Carter: [Snatching away a Chinese gangster's towel and looking at him naked] No wonder you mad!
James Carter: All right, listen up! All the Triads and the ugly women on this side, and all the fine women on this side, right now!
James Carter: Why didn't you tell me you had a bomb in your mouth?
Lee: I did.
James Carter: No you did not!
Lee: I said "mmm!"
James Carter: What the hell is "mmm! mmm!"
Lee: mmm, mmm. Bomb!
Lee: I'm sorry.
James Carter: You sorry? I've got some old man's chopsticks stuck up my ass and all you can say is sorry?
James Carter: [Approaching a Chinese soul food restaurant] This is my informer's place. They got some good ribs here too.
Ricky Tan: You Americans are so funny.
James Carter: And you Asians don't hear too well.
Massage Parlor Hostess: Follow her to the Quiet Room.
James Carter: Ain't gonna be no quiet room no more.
Lee: Where did you learn that?
Kenny: Master Ching.
Lee: Master Ching of Hong Kong?
Kenny: No, Freddy Ching on Crenshaw.
Lee: [In English] They're brothers.
Kenny: What do you mean comin' up in my place and embarrassin' me in front of my wife, my child and my friends.
James Carter: You embarassin' yourself, man, you're a black man with a Chinese restaurant on Crenshaw.
[during a fight scene with a bunch of Chinese men]
James Carter: [after accidentally punching Lee] Sorry, man!
James Carter: All y'all look alike!
[after Isabella kisses Lee]
James Carter: I saw that. You played it smooth too, walkin' away like that.
Lee: Yeah, I'm a player.
James Carter: Secret Service Agent James Carter, I like the sound of it. Won't be long before I'm in Washington D.C. protectin' the President.
Lee: We both know you wouldn't take a bullet for someone else.
James Carter: Yeah but they don't know that.
Lee: I'll meet you at the bar in ten minutes. They don't like tourists in here, so try to blend in.
James Carter: Blend in? I'm two feet taller than everyone in here.
Lee: That's Ricky Tan.
James Carter: That's Ricky Tan? Man, that's a midget in a bathrobe!
Lee: Stop, I'm sick of your bullshit.
James Carter: And I'm sick of you! I'm not the one running up in Karaoke bars full of gangsters. And I'm not the one running up in massage parlors looking for crime lords.
James Carter: [to Lee at a massage parlor] What's wrong with you man? You never step in front of a black man at a buffet line.
James Carter: [In a casino] My people did not go through 362 years of slavery just so you could send us back to the cotton fields with $500 chips!
Lee: Carter, you don't understand.
James Carter: Oh I understand, man. I got knocked off a building, I got beat on, I got stripped butt-naked and you held out on me. I'm outta here.
James Carter: I'm tall, dark and handsome, and you're third world ugly.
James Carter: I don't like my chickens alive, I like 'em dead and deep fried. You ever heard of Popeye's?
James Carter: When the shootin' started, he was way too cool. And normally when there's shootin' white people aren't that cool, man. They either run around in circles, or screaming out 'Aaaaagh!'
James Carter: No, I'm Lee's new muscle. And don't let this robe fool you, this is the only color they had left.
James Carter: If you ain't gonna shoot him Kung-Fu his ass or somethin'.
Massage Parlor Hostess: You ever have massage by Chinese girl before?
James Carter: No, but I heard it was the bomb.
James Carter: Now why did you say it was a bomb.
Lee: You said it was a bomb!
James Carter: I did not.
Lee: In the hotel, you said it was a bomb.
James Carter: I said 'she was the bomb'.
Lee: She was the bomb?
Lee: I always dreamed of going to Madison Square Gardens, see the Knicks play.
James Carter: New York City?
Lee: First class.
James Carter: The Plaza hotel.
Lee: Maybe some mu shu.
James Carter: I could use another vacation.
Lee: If you reach for that gun, I'll kill you.
Ricky Tan: Aren't you forgetting? I'm already dead.
Isabella: I need your help.
Lee: Last time you needed my help, I woke up in a truck.
Lee: You still have it?
Kenny: 'Still got my lunch money from the third grade.
James Carter: Good kick, Lee!
Lee: It was an accident.
James Carter: That's okay. We'll just say he tried to catch a cab.
[Carter has just been hit on by the gay Versace Salesman]
James Carter: Did you see that?
Lee: He likes you.
James Carter: I ain't shopping with you no more.
Lee: You owe me a copy of the Beach Boy's greatest hits.
James Carter: Don't you go having gettin' an attitude with me Lee. I been here three days and ain't done nothin' but work your cases. The only reason why I'm here in Hong Kong is 'cause you said you was gonna show me a good time. I'm on vacation, man! and I want some mu shu.
Lee: Mushu, you hungry?
James Carter: No, not mushu? MU shu. I want to see some women man. Now, stop playing dumb and take me to the SHU.
James Carter: Whoa, man. I ain't going in there!
Lee: Come on!
James Carter: There's rats in there!
Lee: There's no rats!
James Carter: Look at that rat!
[Lee leaves, and Carter reluctantly follows]
James Carter: What was that? Did you just pick up another case? Did we just take another damn case on my vacation?
James Carter: There's two million people here in China, let one of them be your partner!
James Carter: [singing] Don't stop till you get enough!
James Carter: Cha-mon!
James Carter: Cha-mon, Lee!
James Carter: [sings] I'll be right back! I'll be right back!
James Carter: Lee, what happened?
Lee: You left me!
James Carter: No, I didn't! I was waitin' up there for you!
Versace Salesman: Mmmmm, butter cream, butter cream, croc skin, butter cream...
James Carter: I heard that. I heard that. Don't be talkin' 'bout me, man!
James Carter: Oh I know I don't think I see what I see what I'm thinkin!
James Carter: Oh I know I don't think I see what I see what I'm thinking. I know good and well y'all ain't gambling back here, this supposed to be a Chinese Restaurant!
James Carter: Throw it Lee!
James Carter: Lee Throw it!
James Carter: Throw the bomb over the edge! Throw it, throw it! Throw it over the edge!
Lee: No, there's people down there.
James Carter: Lee throw it!
James Carter: Lee!
James Carter: ...Lee!
James Carter: What in the hell is going on up in here? Am I the only one listening to this? The man destroyin' a classic! BOO!
[running down a Hong Kong street]
James Carter: Out of the way! LAPD!
James Carter: Hey Lee! What are you doing?
James Carter: Dancing! Man, im up here working, putting my life on the line, and you up here messing around, dancing with some Bimbo... Does she have a friend?
[outtake, when Ricky Tan falls on the car after being kicked out a window by Inspector Lee]
James Carter: Damn! He ain't gonna be in Rush Hour 3!
James Carter: What are they gonna do to us Li?
Lee: First they will torture us for 3 days.
James Carter: Ok,I can take that.
Lee: Then they will cut off our egg rolls.
James Carter: Cut off our egg rolls... Aww hell no we gotta get outta here
Suit Salesman: [Carter's walking on the streets of Hong Kong, looking for Heaven on Earth massage parlour] Cheap suits! Cheap suits!
James Carter: How cheap?
Suit Salesman: Cheap suits!
[the Salesman leads Carter inside]
Lee: [exasperated sigh] You will never understand me.
James Carter: You right, because I didn't even understand what you said to me right then!
[Lee and Carter are trying to get a bomb out of Isabella's suite]
James Carter: [to Lee] Kick the door.
Lee: [Lee kicks open the door] No, no, no, no, no.
[takes the bomb from Isabella]
James Carter: [looking at Isabella in her bra and panties] Damn you look fine.
James Carter: Where are you going?
James Carter: Well, hurry up. Cause we're going to party. Party!
Captain Chin: [to HKPD officers] Escort Detective Carter to the airport.
Lee: No, I'll take him.
James Carter: [to HKPD officers] *Get* your hands off!
Hu Li: [watching Isabella while carving an apple with a knife] I do not trust her.
Triad: Our orders are to leave her alone.
Hu Li: [puts on a fake smile for Isabella, still speaking in Cantonese] I want to slice those pretty lips off her face. Bury her in the desert with those two cops.
[in English, to Isabella]
Hu Li: Some apple?
Isabella: [takes apple] You'd better put that knife away, bitch, before you have an accident.
[Hu Li throws the knife and hits the apple as Isabella takes a bite]
Lee: I'm not third world ugly, women like me! They think I'm cute, like... Snoopy.
James Carter: Lee, Snoopy is six inches taller than you.
James Carter: [outtake] Kick the door, Jackie!
Lee: Okay, Chris Tucker!
[outtake, cell phone rings and Tucker answers]
James Carter: Hello? I'm filming man. Call me back at 7... I'm filming, I'm looking at Jackie Chan dead in his eye. Call me back.
Lee: [pointing at the camera] We're on a... We're...
James Carter: Call me back!
Lee: Are you a professional? We are filming and you turn on your phone?
James Carter: No, you can't speak to Jackie Chan.
James Carter: No! They want to speak to you, Jackie.
Lee: [Tucker hands the phone to Jackie] Hello?
James Carter: I'm sorry about this.
Lee: We're... We're filming right now!
Lee: You're sorry? You wasted all our film!
James Carter: [Takes phone back] Call me back later, 7 o'clock!
[Tucker hangs up, crew applause and laughter, Jackie points at Tucker]