Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003)
[first title card]
Title Card: "Revenge is a dish best served cold" - Old Klingon proverb.
Hattori Hanzo: Revenge is never a straight line. It's a forest, And like a forest it's easy to lose your way... To get lost... To forget where you came in.
Budd: That woman deserves her revenge and we deserve to die.
Bill: Do you find me sadistic? You know, I bet I could fry an egg on your head right now, if I wanted to. You know, Kiddo, I'd like to believe that you're aware enough even now to know that there's nothing sadistic in my actions. Well, maybe towards those other... jokers, but not you. No Kiddo, at this moment, this is me at my most...
The Bride: Bill... it's your baby...
The Bride: It was not my intention to do this in front of you. For that I'm sorry. But you can take my word for it, your mother had it comin'. When you grow up, if you still feel raw about it, I'll be waiting.
Copperhead: So I suppose it's a little late for an apology, huh?
The Bride: You suppose correctly.
Copperhead: Look, bitch... I need to know if you're going to start any more shit around my baby girl.
The Bride: You can relax for now. I'm not going to murder you in front of your child, okay?
Copperhead: That's being more rational than Bill led me to believe you were capable of.
The Bride: It's mercy, compassion, and forgiveness I lack. Not rationality.
Copperhead: Look. I know I fucked you over. I fucked you over bad. I wish to God I hadn't, but I did. You have every right to want to get even.
The Bride: No, no, no, no, no. No, to get even, even-Steven... I would have to kill you... go up to Nikki's room, kill her... then wait for your husband, the good Dr. Bell, to come home and kill him. That would be even, Vernita. That'd be about square.
Hattori Hanzo: [in Japanese; subtitled] I am finished doing what I swore an oath to God 28 years ago to never do again. I've created, "something that kills people." And in that purpose, I was a success. I've done this because, philosophically, I am sympathetic to your aim. I can tell you with no ego, this is my finest sword. If on your journey, you should encounter God, God will be cut.
O-Ren Ishii: [after she cuts off Tanaka's head, in Japanese] So you all will know the seriousness of my warning, I shall say this in English.
O-Ren Ishii: [in English] As your leader, I encourage you from time to time, and always in a respectful manner, to question my logic. If you're unconvinced that a particular plan of action I've decided is the wisest, tell me so, but allow me to convince you and I promise you right here and now, no subject will ever be taboo. Except, of course, the subject that was just under discussion. The price you pay for bringing up either my Chinese or American heritage as a negative is... I collect your fucking head. Just like this fucker here. Now, if any of you sons of bitches got anything else to say, now's the fucking time!
O-Ren Ishii: I didn't think so.
O-Ren Ishii: [calmly, in Japanese] Gentlemen, this meeting is adjourned.
O-Ren Ishii: Silly Caucasian girl likes to play with Samurai swords.
Bill: One more thing, Sofie... is she aware her daughter is still alive?
O-Ren Ishii: [her last lines] That really was a Hattori Hanzo sword.
Hattori Hanzo: [in Japanese; voice-over] For those regarded as warriors, when engaged in combat the vanquishing of thine enemy can be the warrior's only concern. Suppress all human emotion and compassion. Kill whoever stands in thy way, even if that be Lord God, or Buddha himself. This truth lies at the heart of the art of combat.
O-Ren Ishii: [in Japanese; subtitled] For ridiculing you earlier, I apologize.
The Bride: [in Japanese; subtitled] Accepted.
Hattori Hanzo: What brings you to Okinawa?
The Bride: I'm here to see a man.
Hattori Hanzo: Oh yeah? You have a friend living in Okinawa?
The Bride: Not quite.
Hattori Hanzo: Not a friend?
The Bride: I've never met him.
Hattori Hanzo: Never? Who is he, may I ask?
The Bride: Hattori Hanzo.
Hattori Hanzo: [Serious, switches to Japanese] What do you want with Hattori Hanzo?
The Bride: [Japanese] I need Japanese steel.
Hattori Hanzo: [Japanese] Why do you need Japanese steel?
The Bride: [Japanese] I have vermin to kill.
Hattori Hanzo: [English] You must have big rats if you need Hattori Hanzo's steel.
The Bride: [English] ... Huge.
The Bride: [spanking a young member of the Crazy 88s with her sword] This is what you get for fucking around with Yakuzas!
[with a last spank, lets him go]
The Bride: Go home to your mother!
[the Bride drags Buck's head to the doorjam]
The Bride: [screams] Where's Bill?
The Bride: Where's Bill?
Buck: [weakly] Please stop hitting me...
The Bride: WHERE'S BILL?
Buck: I-I don't know who Bill is!
The Bride: BULLSHIT!
[another slam; then she notices the words "BUCK" and "FUCK" tattooed on his knuckles, and suddenly has a flashback from her coma]
Buck: Well, ain't you the little slice of cutie pie they said you were. "Jane Doe," huh? Well, we don't know shit about you, huh? Well, I'm from Huntsville, Texas. My name is Buck, and I'm here to fuck, ha-ha-ha...
[back to the present]
The Bride: [gently] Your name is Buck, right?
[Buck's eyes widen]
The Bride: [getting angrier] And you came here to fuck, *right*?
Buck: Wait a minute... WAIT A MINUTE-!
[and with a scream of effort and one mighty slam, Buck is dispatched to the hereafter; she goes through his pockets and finds a large pair of sunglasses, puts them on, then finds a set of car keys with a keychain that says:]
The Bride: "Pussy Wagon." You *fucker*...
[one last slam]
Sushi Bar Assistant: [Japanese] What'd ya want?
The Bride: [English] I beg your pardon?
Hattori Hanzo: [English] Oh..."drink"
[makes drinking motion with hand]
The Bride: [English] Oh, yes, a bottle of warm sake please.
Hattori Hanzo: [English] Warm sake? VERY GOOD.
Hattori Hanzo: [Japanese] One warm sake.
Sushi Bar Assistant: [Japanese] Sake? In the middle of the day?
Hattori Hanzo: [Japanese] Day, night, afternoon, who gives a damn? Get the sake!
Sushi Bar Assistant: [Japanese] How come I always have to get the sake? You listen well... for thirty years, you make the fish, I get the sake. If this were the military, I'd be General by now!
Hattori Hanzo: [Japanese] Oh, so you'd be General, huh? If you were General, I'd be Emperor, and you'd STILL get the sake! So shut up and get the sake!
Hattori Hanzo: [English] Do you understand?
O-Ren Ishii: You didn't think it was gonna be that easy, did you?
The Bride: You know, for a second there, yeah, I kinda did.
O-Ren Ishii: Silly rabbit.
The Bride: Trix are...
O-Ren Ishii: ...for kids.
Bill: If you had to guess where she was headed next, what would be your best guess?
Sofie Fatale: Guessing won't be necessary. She informed me. She said that I could keep my wicked life for two reasons...
The Bride: As I said before, I've allowed you to keep your wicked life for two reasons. And the second reason is so you can tell him in person everything that happened here tonight. I want him to witness the extent of my mercy by witnessing your deformed body. I want you to tell him all the information you just told me. I want him to know what I know. I want him to know I want him to know. And I want them all to know they'll all soon be as dead as O-Ren.
The Bride: [voiceover narration] As I lay in the back of Buck's truck, trying to will my limbs out of entropy, I could see the faces of the cunts that did this to me and the dicks responsible. Members all of the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad. When fortune smiles on something as violent and ugly as revenge, it seems proof like no other, that not only does God exist, you're doing His will.
Elle Driver: I might never have liked you. Point of fact, I despise you. But that doesn't suggest I don't respect you. Dying in our sleep is a luxury our kind is rarely afforded. My gift to you.
Elle Driver: Hello, Bill.
Bill: What's her condition?
Elle Driver: Comatose.
Bill: Where is she?
Elle Driver: I'm standing over her right now.
Bill: That's my girl. Elle, you're gonna have to abort the mission.
Elle Driver: WHAT?
Bill: We owe her better than that.
Elle Driver: NO YOU DON'T! YOU DON'T OWE HER SHIT!
Bill: Will you keep your voice down?
Elle Driver: [whispering] You don't owe her shit!
Bill: May I say one thing?
Elle Driver: Speak.
Bill: Y'all beat the hell out of that woman, but you didn't kill her. And I put a bullet in her head, but her heart just kept on beatin'. Now, you saw that yourself with your own beautiful blue eye, did you not? We've done a lot of things to this lady. And if she ever wakes up, we'll do a whole lot more. But one thing we won't do is sneak into her room in the night like a filthy rat and kill her in her sleep. And the reason we won't do that thing is because... that thing would lower us. Don't you agree, Miss Driver?
Elle Driver: I guess.
Bill: Do you really have to guess?
Elle Driver: [sighs] No. I don't really have to guess. I know.
Bill: Come on home, honey.
Elle Driver: Affirmative.
Bill: I love you very much.
Elle Driver: I love you, too. Bye-bye.
Earl McGraw: Well, give me the gory details, Son Number One.
Edgar McGraw: It's a goddamn massacre, Pop. They wiped out the whole wedding party, execution-style.
Earl McGraw: Give me a figure.
Edgar McGraw: Nine dead bodies. And we're talking the whole she-bang: bride, groom, reverend, reverend's wife... hell, they even shot that old colored fella that plays the organ.
Earl McGraw: It would appear someone objected to this union and wasn't able to hold their peace.
The Bride: [English] I've kept you alive for two reasons. And the first reason is information.
Sofie Fatale: [French] Burn in hell, blonde bitch! I'll tell you nothing!
The Bride: [English] But I am gonna ask you questions. And every time you don't give me answers, I'm gonna cut something off. And I promise you, they will be things you will miss. Give me your other arm!
Copperhead: Look, if I could go back in a machine, I would. But I can't. All can tell you is that I'm a different person now.
The Bride: Oh great. I don't care.
Copperhead: Be that as it may, I know I don't deserve your mercy or your forgiveness. However, I beseech you for both on behalf of my daughter.
The Bride: Bitch, you can stop right there. Just because I have no wish to murder you in front of your daughter doesn't mean that parading her around in front of me will inspire sympathy. You and I have unfinished business. And not a goddamned thing you've done in the subsequent four years including getting knocked up is going to change that.
Copperhead: So when do we do this?
The Bride: It all depends. When do you want to die? Tomorrow? The day after tomorrow?
Copperhead: How about tonight, bitch?
The Bride: Splendid. Where?
Copperhead: There's a baseball diamond where I coach Little League about a mile from here. We meet there around two-thirty in the morning dressed all in black. Your hair in a black stocking. And we have us a knife fight. We won't be bothered. Now... I have to fix Nikki's cereal.
Earl McGraw: Son number one?
Edgar McGraw: Yeah?
Earl McGraw: This tall drink of cocksucker ain't dead.
Earl McGraw: Well, this is definitely the work of professionals. I'd guess-timate Mexican Mafia hit squad. Four, maybe five strong.
Edgar McGraw: How can you tell?
Earl McGraw: Well, a sure and steady hand did this. This ain't no squirrelly amateur. This is the work of a salty dog. You can tell by the cleanliness of the carnage. Now a kill-crazy rampage though it may be, all the colors are kept within the lines. If you was a moron, you could almost admire it.
The Bride: Then give me one of these.
Hattori Hanzo: They're not for sale.
The Bride: I didn't say "sell me", I said "give me".
Hattori Hanzo: [laughs] Why should I help you?
The Bride: Because my vermin is a former student of yours. And considering the student, I'd say you have a rather *large* obligation.
[long pause, then Hanzo walks to the window and writes Bill's name]
Hattori Hanzo: [in Japanese] You can sleep here. It will take me a month to make the sword. I suggest you spend it practicing.
O-Ren Ishii: You might not be able to fight like a samurai, but you can at least die like a samurai.
The Bride: [in Japanese] Go-Go, right?
Go Go Yubari: [in Japanese] Bingo. And you're Black Mamba.
The Bride: Our reputations precede us.
Go Go Yubari: Don't they?
The Bride: [in Japanese] Those of you lucky enough to have your lives, take them with you. However, leave the limbs you've lost. They belong to me now.
The Bride: Except you, Sofie! You stay right where you are!
Copperhead: So when do we do this?
The Bride: It all depends. When do you want to die? Tomorrow? The day after tomorrow?
Copperhead: How about tonight, bitch?
The Bride: Splendid. Where?
Hattori Hanzo: Funny, you like samurai swords... I like baseball.
Japanese Businessman: [in Japanese; subtitled] Do you like Ferraris?
Go Go Yubari: [in Japanese] Ferraris... Italian trash.
[Japanese businessman giggles]
Go Go Yubari: Do you want to screw me?
[Japanese businessman giggles again]
Go Go Yubari: Don't laugh. Do you want to screw me, yes or no?
Japanese Businessman: Yes.
[She stabs him in the stomach with a Samurai short sword]
Go Go Yubari: How about now, big boy? Do you still wish to penetrate me?... Or is it I who has penetrated you?
Boss Benta: [in Japanese; subtitled] Boss Tanaka! What is the meaning of this outburst? This is a time for celebration.
Boss Tanaka: [in Japanese; subtitled] And what exactly are we celebrating? The perversion of our illustrious council?
Boss Honda: [in Japanese; subtitled] Tanaka, have you gone mad? I will not tolerate this! You're disrespecting our sister! Apologize!
O-Ren Ishii: [in Japanese; subtitled] Tanaka-san, of what perversion do you speak?
Boss Tanaka: My father...
Boss Tanaka: along with yours...
Boss Tanaka: and along with yours, started this council. And while you laugh like stupid donkeys, they weep in the afterlife over the perversion committed today.
Boss Ozawah: Outrageous! Tanaka, it is you who insults this council!
[Throws rag at him]
Boss Ozawah: Bastard!
Boss Tanaka: [Throws rag back] Fuck face!
O-Ren Ishii: Gentlemen! Tanaka obviously has something on his mind. By all means, allow him to express it.
Boss Tanaka: I speak of the perversion done to this council... which I love... more than my own children, by making a Chinese Jap-American half-breed bitch its leader!
[O-Ren quickly runs across the table and cuts off his head]
Vernita Green: [somewhat to herself, as she gets her daughter's cereal] Black Mamba. I shoulda been motherfuckin' Black Mamba.
The Bride: [in Japanese] O-Ren Ishii! You and I have unfinished business!
O-Ren Ishii: Your instrument is quite impressive. Where was it made?
The Bride: Okinawa.
O-Ren Ishii: [in Japanese] Whom in Okinawa made you this steel?
The Bride: [in Japanese] Hattori Hanzo.
O-Ren Ishii: [in Japanese] YOU LIE!
[the Bride shows Hattori Hanzo marking on sword]
O-Ren Ishii: [in Japanese] Swords, however, never get tired. I hope you saved your energy. If you haven't... You may not last five minutes. But as last looks go, you could do worse.
Proprietor: [in Japanese; subtitled] You have to say, "Yes, yes, yes" to any selfish demands they make.
Charlie Brown: [in Japanese] They demand ridiculous things.
Proprietor: Shut up! Do you know what would happen if they heard you?
Charlie Brown: What's gonna happen?
Proprietor: Did you hear about the Tanaka clan? You're gonna get your head cut off.
Charlie Brown: No, I don't want that.
Edgar McGraw: What'd I tell you, Pop? It's like a goddamn Nicaraguan death squad.
Earl McGraw: You'd better shit-can that blasphemy, boy. You're in a house of worship.
Earl McGraw: Who's the bride?
Edgar McGraw: Don't know. The name on the marriage certificate is "Arlene Machiavelli." That's a fake. We've all just been calling her "The Bride" on account of the dress.
Earl McGraw: You can tell she was pregnant. Man'd have to be a mad dog to shoot a goddamn good-looking gal like that in the head. Look at her. Hay-colored hair, big eyes. She's a little blood-spattered angel.
Bill: Sofie, Sofie, my Sofie. I'm so sorry.
Sofie Fatale: Please... please forgive my betrayal.
Bill: No more of that.
Sofie Fatale: But still...
Bill: But still nothing. Nothing, except my aching heart, at what she's done to my beautiful and brilliant Sofie.
The Bride: [after quickly dispatching six Crazy 88's] So, O-Ren? Any more subordinates for me to kill?
The Bride: Go-Go, I know you feel you must protect your mistress. But I beg you, walk away.
[Go-Go giggles girlishly]
Go Go Yubari: [in Japanese; subtitled] You call that begging?
Go Go Yubari: You can beg better than that!
[after Bill tells her not to kill The Bride]
Elle Driver: Thought that was pretty fuckin' funny, didn't you? Word of advice, shithead - don't you ever wake up.
Sushi Bar Assistant: [in Japanese] I'm not bald, okay? I shaved my head.
Sushi Bar Assistant: [in English] Understand?
O-Ren (voice): [in Japanese; subtitled] Look at me, Matsumoto. Take a good look at my face. Look at my eyes. Do I look familiar? Do I look like somebody... you murdered?
The Bride: [her first words upon waking from the coma] My baby! My baby!
[looking at the Bride in her coma]
Buck: Price is $75 a fuck, my friend. You getting your freak on, or what?
Trucker: Oh yeah, boy.
[gives Buck the money]
Buck: Now here are the rules. Rule Number One: no punching her. The nurse comes in tomorrow and she got a shiner or less some teeth, jig's up. So, no knuckle sandwiches under no circumstances. And by the way, this little cunt's a spitter. It's a motor-reflex thing. But spit or not, no punching. Now, are we absolutely, positively clear on Rule Number One?
Buck: Good. Now, Rule Number Two: no monkey bites, and no hickeys. In fact, no leaving no marks of any kind on her. After that, it's all good, buddy. Now, her plumbing down there don't work no more, so feel free to come in her all you want. Keep the noise down, try not to make a mess. I'll be back in twenty.
[Buck starts to leave, but snaps his fingers and turns back]
Buck: Oh, shit! By the way, not every time but sometimes this chick's cooch will get drier than a bucket of sand. If she's dry, just lube up with this,
[tosses him a jar labeled "VasaLube"]
Buck: and you'll be good to go. Bon Appetite, good buddy.
Nikki Bell: [Nikki comes home from school and sees a wrecked living room, the aftermath of her mother's knife fight with The Bride] Mommy, what happened to you and the TV room?
Copperhead: Oh. That good-for-nothing dog of yours got his little ass in the living room and acted a damn fool. That's what happened.
The Bride: [after finally getting her big toe to move] Hard part's over. Now let's get these other piggies wiggling.
Hattori Hanzo: [in Japanese] Yellow-haired warrior. Go.