|Index||5 reviews in total|
Curse is definitely one of the most outright bizarre movies I've ever
seen. It seems to be a Hong Kong take on the Italians' cannibal genre,
but the film makers decide to change the film into something more along
the lines of a fantasy adventure combined with Romancing the Stone. As
a result, it suffers from trying to be something that it's not. It's a
low budget B-movie trying to be a Hollywood blockbuster, so what
results is obvious: it fails horribly and implodes on itself. It
screams to be the most spectacularly original and fantastic movie to
date, but it never accumulates into anything other than an odd
obscurity. Along with being completely strange, it's also one of the
most confusing movies ever made (although I think it would be less so
if you actually spoke Chinese). Completely random events shatter
whatever coherent story there is (which is hard to figure out until the
last half hour) without any hint of an explanation to what happens
next. To top the whole bland blitz off, it's also one of the trashiest,
least ethical movies ever made. The main focus here is simply pure and
unadulterated (and adulterous) sex, and the director exploits the
sleaze within an inch of its life with the "love spell" angle. If you
ever have an itch to see this, get a low-budget porno instead.
Maria lives with a demanding, handicapped, and abusive husband. One day, she finally decides to run off with her secret lover, Roberto, the gardener. Her cousin overhears the two talking, however, and he kills Roberto with his car. Maria decides to perform a ritual that will have the two reincarnate in twenty years. This is perhaps the most confusing point of the whole movie, because it then cuts to forty years later in Hong Kong, in Maria's new life. The thing is, they never explain that, nor do they even give hint as to what's going on. Anyway, she finds Robert, but Robert doesn't remember her (and he has some steamy sex with his wife). Maria continues to try and lure Robert with various tactics, such as pretending to drown and having him save her. Finally, Maria goes to an evil sorcerer, Rafau (who also happens to reign over a tribe of cannibal midgets), to help her out. He gives her his love spell, but when she loses her virginity, she must become his to be a prisoner and midget food. Gets what's next? More steamy sex! Maria and Robert finally do it, and Rafau immediately tries to bring Maria to him. She tries her hardest not to return to Rafau, so he makes Robert catatonic. Maria and Robert's wife turn to Robert's father-in-law, a sorcerer, for help, and the three team up to stop Rafau's evil and cannibalistic ways.
I gave an extremely vague outline of what happens in this movie, because if I went into detail, not only would it take three pages, but the reader would be confused as hell (but I digress). That's the biggest problem of the film: all events happen randomly and at once. Several scenes are completely unneeded side material that don't contribute anything to the characters or plot and are never even referenced again. There's never any time for you to catch up and figure out what's happening. Once you think you've figured it out, another one of said random scenes pops up and confuses you even further. I found myself rewinding through half the movie to find out what was going on, making an 85 minute movie take two hours to watch (which is unbearable, as one run through is bad enough). Eventually, I just gave up and decided to live with not understanding. The only thing that made me continue watching this travesty was the graphic, unnecessary, and fortunately sleazy sex that appears throughout (it rivals Massacre in Dinosaur Valley for total amount of body fluids exchanged). The movie's existence is essentially for this explicit sex, so those expecting a cannibal movie should stay back. Yes, the mere thought of midget cannibals is amusing, but they have no more than seven minutes of screen time, and are only meant to create trashy woman-sacrificing scenes to Rafau (ahh... smell that exploitation?). Even those scenes aren't anything to write home about.
Curse is best described as a cross between Massacre in Dinosaur Valley and a half-ass Big Trouble in Little China. Trying to imagine these movies together reflects how mind bending this is. It seems written as a cannibal movie, but was rewritten a million times to make it pure sexploitation. Anyone expecting any sort of decent action movie or a cannibal bloodbath (with the misleading title) should stay away, as it crawls at a pace that's mind bending, almost as if the main point of the movie, Rafau, his evil, and his cannibal minions, were supposed to be a side thought. It doesn't even have a B-movie charm that makes it anywhere near worthwhile. The eye candy is almost the only thing keeping your eyes open and to the screen, and once you've gratified yourself to it, even that begins to get old. It's original enough, but it falls into a incredulous run through that's simply brash and unappealing. Only if you're looking for anything completely outside the norm should you consider picking this up (I'm just a sucker for obscurity). Big Trouble in Little China it ain't.
I too got this movie from the Tales of Voodoo double disc. The movie
itself is a bizarre mish-mash of Asian rituals, repressed love, and
sterile sex scenes. From the box I expected an Asian cannibal movie,
but cannibals have very little to do with this flick.
The story is some convoluted mess about reincarnated loves, rituals of the occult, and a snake god. The main character is looking for her long lost love who was killed 20 years earlier. Why only 20 years? Trust me, it is not worth it to delve into the specifics of this movie's plot lines. Through it all we get horny cousins, Asian men in Speedos, and 2 old wizards cut straight out of the worst old kung fu movie. The whole thing is a bit of a blur since the captioning was not formatted to fit the television screen.
The most unique part of the film was the mysterious white fuzzy dot that would cover the female pubic area during the sex scenes. In one particularly acrobatic scene the little white dot gets quite the workout. There must be copies of this movie floating around that provide the fullest female frontal this side of porn. Breasts are a plenty, but all full frontal is fuzzed out.
I knew going in the Curse would be more of a curiosity than anything else. It was fun to see what Philipinos view as sexy and scary. The obvious ties to Asian beliefs are interesting, if not hard to follow. Gorehouds avoid since this one provides very little blood, save for the last scene.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
Poor Maria is married to a hideously abusive and impotent old cripple. She's having an affair with the hunky gardener Roberto. Her cousin runs Roberto over with his car. Maria goes to an old witch lady and has a spell done so both she and Roberto will be reincarnated twenty years later. Cue twenty years later. Maria, sad and lonely, meets the reincarnation of Roberto, but alas he's married and hence not interested in her. So Maria enlists the aid of an evil, cackling, snake-worshiping sorcerer to cast a spell on Roberto so she can finally have him. Got that? Well, I'm not quite sure if that above plot synopsis is entirely correct, but it's the best I can do. Director Yeung Kong fails miserably to add any much-needed coherence to this often uproariously awful and muddled mess of a supernatural romantic horror flick. Luckily, there's a wealth of tasty female nudity and a handy helping of sizzling soft-core sex scenes to keep things pleasingly sleazy throughout. (However, in one hysterically strenuous sex scene involving the evil lascivious sorcerer and a hapless young lady a big glowing white dot covers the woman's pubic area!). The funky, throbbing score, a gnarly tribe of nasty cannibal dwarfs, and a smidgen of suitably gross last reel gore further add to the strangely compelling and frequently unintentionally sidesplitting anything-goes surreal fun of this enjoyably senseless head-scratcher.
Cannibal Curse (1987)
1/2 (out of 4)
Incredibly bad Hong Kong flick but I'm really not too sure what it's about. A mad doctor (or something) in the jungle has beautiful Asian women bath in a (?) magic pond then go out and have sex with men. Or something like that. Either way the film is simply boring and pretty poorly made and no, there aren't any cannibals in the film. The original title was Curse but perhaps they should have added some flesh eaters. The only thing that keeps me from giving this sucker a BOMB is the fact that there's a lot of beautiful Asian chicks getting naked throughout the film. Yeah, I'm nice like that.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
I don't really believe this little flick deserves four huge paragraphs
about it. I found it as "Cannibal Curse" on one of the Tales of Voodoo
discs from Videoasia/Ventura distribution. The only volume of that
collection I would really recommend even at very low prices would be
volume 3 which has a sleazy Cat III called The Rapist and the gory
sorcery flick The Devil (incorrectly titled "Devil's Express" on the
DVD case). Cannibal Curse actually tries to mimic The Devil a little
bit--at least at the end when a cursed man vomits up worms and has
snakes and squirmy things burst through his chest. That scene, by the
way, is the only standout scene in this flick and it comes very near
the end--everything else is just a convoluted mess of ridiculousness
with some softcore sex scenes and midgets thrown in. Still, it's just a
popcorn flick, what do you expect? 5/10.
The Tales of Voodoo disc has both language tracks playing simultaneously . This is rather annoying and I wasn't able to correct this by changing speaker channel.
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