Edit
Christmas in South Park (Video 2000) Poster

Quotes

Mr. Hankey: If you don't like it, you can suck my little balls.

Mr. Garrison: Okay Kyle, why don't you take the prod.

[hands the prod to Kyle]

Kyle: Sweet!

Mr. Garrison: Okay Eric, whenever you're ready

[starts playing a piano]

Eric Cartman: [singing] and, O holy night

[Kyle shocks him]

Eric Cartman: Ow! What was that for? I didn't screw up.

[Kyle laughs]

Eric Cartman: What?

Mr. Garrison: No, Kyle, you can't shock him unless he forgets the words.

Kyle: Sorry, Mr. Garrison.

Mr. Garrison: [singing] Hey there, Mr. Shintoist, Merry fucking Christmas! God is gonna kick your ass, you infidelic pagan scum/ In case you haven't noticed, there's festive things to do/ So let's all rejoice for Jesus/Merry fucking Christmas to you!

Mr. Garrison: [singing] Oh Christmas Day, I travel 'round the world and say: Taoist, Krishnas, Buddhists and all you atheists too! Merry fucking Christmas to you!

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Kyle: [singing] Instead of eating ham I have to eat Kosher latkes/Instead of Silent Night, I'm singing Hoo Hact Toh Gaveesh/ And what the fuck is up with lighting all these fucking candles, someone tell me please. I'm a Jew. A lonely Jew. On Christmas.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Satan: [singing] There goes Jeffrey Dahmer/With a festive Christmas ham/After he has sex with it/He'll eat up all he can. And there goes John F. Kennedy/Caroling with his only son/Reunited for the holidays/God bless us everyone!

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Satan: [singing] Gather close together and make it quick/ We gotta make room for Andy Dick/Wake his mother and ring the bell/It's Christmas time in hell!

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Satan: [singing] Look! There's Princess Diana/Holding burning mistletoe/Over Gene Siskel's head/You can see his weenie grow.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

S.D. Kluger: [singing] We've all heard of Rudolph and his shiny nose/And we all know Frosty who's made out of snow/But all of those stories seem kind of gay/'Cause we all know who brightens up our holiday: Mr. Hankey, the Christmas poo/Small and brown, he comes from you/Sit on the toilet, here he comes/Squeezin' 'tween your festive buns.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Children: [singing] Sometimes he's runny/Sometimes he's firm/Sometimes he's practically water.

Man: Sometimes he hangs off the end of your ass and won't fall into the toilet 'cause he's just clinging to your sphincter and he won't drop off and so you shake your ass around try to get it in the toilet and finally he does.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Shelley: [singing] Shelley is starting to get pissed, on Christmas day/On Christmas day. Shelley got up and killed the turds on Christmas day IN THE MORNING!

[Drops a piano on Stan and Kyle]

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Satan: [singing] For one day we all stop burning/And the flames are not so thick/All the screaming and torture stops as we wait for old Saint Nick. So string up the lights and light up the tree/We're damned for all eternity/But for just one day, all is well/It's Christmastime in hell!

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Satan: [singing] There's a rack to hang the stockings on/We still have to shop for Genghis Khan/Michael Landon's hair looks swell/It's Christmas time in hell!

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Mr. Garrison: [singing] Hey there, Mister Hinduist/Merry fucking Christmas! Drink eggnog and eat some beef and pass it to the missus/In case you haven't noticed/It's Jesus' birthday/So get off your heathen Hindu ass and fucking celebrate!

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Mr. Mackey: [singing] Hark, hear the bells/Sweet silver bells/ All seem to say, "Ding dong, M'kay".

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Eric Cartman: [singing] Mother tries to comfort me/She says, "Here son, have some eggnog"/But I fucking hate eggnog, seriously.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Eric Cartman: [singing] Here's a little dreidel, that's small and made of clay/But I'm not gonna play with it 'cause dreidel's fucking gay.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

News Reporter: Fighting the Frizzies at 11:00.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Santa Claus: There's like 300 Jesus songs and only four fucking Santa ones!

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Eric Cartman: [singing to O Holy Night] Thank you, Jesus/For being born... Fall on your knees/And hear the angel's... Something...

Background Vocals: Voices!

Eric Cartman: Oh night devine! O night/That I get presents.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Gerald Broslofski: [singing] Courtney Cox, I love you/You're so hot, on that show ...

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Sheila Broslofski: [singing] Now when you learn, to make the Dradel spin/You KNOW our people always win.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Santa Claus: Ah, fuck you, Jesus.

See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

Contribute to This Page