Edit
Black Books (TV Series 2000–2004) Poster

(2000–2004)

Quotes

Bernard: [selling a book] Enjoy. It's dreadful, but it's quite short.

Bernard: Whores will have their trinkets.

6 of 7 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Bernard: Lies! Subterfuge! Seething Corruption!

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Bernard: [hangover] No Doctors! Doctors are Satanists! That's why they write Ambulance backwards.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Bernard: I can feel pieces of my brain falling away like a wet cake.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Fran: It'll be great seeing them all again, it'll be like being back at school!

Bernard: You hated being at school, you had a terrible time.

Fran: I never told you about that.

Bernard: You didn't have to, I just look at your life now and work backwards!

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Bernard: I have spoken!

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Fran: Buy this!

Bernard: What is it?

Fran: It's a thing.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Bernard: She remembers, and I'm not allowed to.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Fran: I miss my shop.

Bernard: You hated your shop.

Fran: Yes, but hating it took up a big part of my life. I'm disconnected now, I keep buying little things to cheer myself up.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Bernard: And what am I supposed to do while you're doing the Underpants Charleston with this insane, blind tart?

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Fran: Shh, Manny! It's the beetroot talking!

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Bernard: Natural Selection favours the loud and aggressive, no offense, but genetically you are a cul-de-sac.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Bernard: Don't you DARE use the word "Party" as a verb in my shop!

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Chalkboard: Don't.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Chalkboard: No Anecdotage.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Chalkboard: No giggling.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Chalkboard: No Chatting, No Smiling, Absolute Silence!

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Chalkboard: Can't.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

T-shirt: Flipper Dolphin Steaks.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Bernard: This isn't Waterstones!

Manny: I wish I'd never been born.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Bernard: The little man in my hair is getting very annoyed.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Bernard: He doesn't know the alphabet! He can't read

[raises Manny's hair for emphasis]

Bernard: at all!

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

T-shirt: Veterans of Disorder.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Bernard: I love my thumbs.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Bernard: [grabs a book at random] This one's good, you'll laugh, you'll cry, it'll change your life!

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Bernard: You nearly hurt me in the shoulder, there!

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Bernard: Why would I want to do that, when I can do this?

[moshing]

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Manny: What's the "L" for?

Bernard: Ludwig, you know, like Beethoven.

Manny: Ludwig? Why would your parents...

Bernard: [Bernard gives him a stern look]

0 of 2 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

Contribute to This Page