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"Click" The Body Beautiful (TV Episode 1997) Poster

(TV Series)

(I) (1997)

Quotes

Ted Fields: Pamela, this is not the time! We're in the middle of a felony!

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Ben: What if this thing has side effects?

Linda: Like what?

Ben: I dunno... Permanent erections. Unending orgasms!

Linda: And that'd be a bad thing?

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Police Woman: [On board a plane, Mr Clark runs into the toilet cubicle. Outside, moans of pleasure can be heard] Open the door Mr Clark! You're under arrest! And I want that box!

Mr Clark: If I can't have you no-one else can.

Police Woman: Come out Mr Clark.

Mr Clark: Goodbye baby. Take care of yourself. And the others.

[He flushes the Clicker down the toilet. It's ejected from the plane, and it crashes into The Body Beautiful]

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Linda: [Running in, holding the clicker] What do you call this thing?

Ben: It's a gift to my niece. Give it.

Linda: Your niece? How old is she?

Ben: Seven.

Linda: I would not give this to your niece!

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Linda: [after using the Clicker on a woman on a treadmill] I bet other spas' treadmills don't make people feel that good.

Ben: Bullshit. No, you set that up earlier! Paula must've been in on it the whole time! A little device like that can't turn people on!

Linda: Attention!

[She uses the Clicker on Ben, who turns around, an erection obvious in his pants]

Linda: Do you know how many married women could use a device like this?

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New Linda: [She walks into the sauna, wearing only a towel] Not a bad sauna, huh?

Susan: I've been in better.

New Linda: Oh, where'd you go?

[She sits down next to Susan, hiding the Clicker between her legs]

Susan: I'm on assignment.

New Linda: Oh, a reporter?

Susan: Why, do you work here?

New Linda: Nah, just came for the free workout. To be honest with you, I'm not that impressed either.

Susan: Well, I recommend that you wait a few weeks and then come back. It'll be a lot better by then.

New Linda: Really? Sounds like you got the inside scoop on something?

Susan: Ever hear of Margo du Mont?

New Linda: Is she taking over the place?

Susan: Didn't hear it from me.

New Linda: I'm surprised the owner's gonna sell. This place looks like it's doing pretty well.

Susan: Oh it'll sell. It's not doing as well as you think. Especially come this time tomorrow.

New Linda: Really? What's happening tomorrow?

Susan: Oh nothing. I just have a feeling that some of the equipment in this place is getting pretty old. Maybe in need of immediate repair.

New Linda: Really?

Susan: Could use a little more steam in here, don't you think?

[She turns the steam up, which causes the Clicker to activate. She is struck by it]

Susan: It's... getting a little warm in here, don't you think? You don't mind if I...

[She takes her towel off]

Susan: After all, we're all just women in here, right?

New Linda: Well, you are definitely a woman.

Susan: I bet you've got an impressive bod under there as well. Don't be shy. Us women should stick together. Men aren't as important as they like us to think they are.

New Linda: Um, I've always been curious what it would be like to be with a woman, but I don't think now is a good idea.

[She gets zapped with the Clicker, and stands up and gasps]

New Linda: Ooo, it hit the spot!

Susan: [She kisses her] Just relax. Be yourself.

New Linda: Or someone else, as the case may be.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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