Cal: I've got gravitas out the wazoo.
[On the downside of starting a family]
Sophia Gold: You can't do yourself in! Kids just rob you of that option!
Clair: Um... I lost my husband and my beeper... have you seen either one of them?
Jerry: Nobody knows what you're doing. Your knee, your ankle, what? Okay, just go to the second syllable... got to the *second* syllable... Would you just move on to the fucking second syllable you stupid cunt?
[Sophia enters speaking in horrified disbelief]
Sophia Gold: Oh my God! America just told me that the *neighbors* are coming!
Sally Nash: And here they are!
Sophia Gold: Oh! And she was just saying how happy you were to finally have them over! Because the two of you are so... introspective and shy. Should have done it ages ago, basically.
Sally Nash: We're fine! We're great! We're having a baby and we're moving to London!
Sophia Gold: Well you weren't fine when you went all Sylvia Plath on me last summer in Connecticut!
Sally Nash: Not nice! Not kind!
Sophia Gold: Ha! Not half so "not kind" as your husband was in his depiction of you in his novel!
Sally Nash: Why are you doing this?
Sophia Gold: Sally! His image of you is a possessive, fragile neurotic!
Sally Nash: But I *am* a possessive, fragile neurotic!
Sophia Gold: No you are not! You are Sally Nash! You are Sally Nash, and you're my best friend for twenty years. And you're not going to move to London to have the offspring of some sexually ambivalent man-child, oh-now-I'm-a-writer-now-I'm-a-fucking-director, English prick bastard Joe Therrian! He's probably going to leave you for Skye Davidson anyway!
Cal Gold: [pointing to his nostrils] These are not the windows to the soul,
[pointing to his eyes]
Cal Gold: these are.
Joe Therrian: Would you like a lolly? You're never too old for a lolly.