The Borg travel back in time intent on preventing Earth's first contact with an alien species. Captain Picard and his crew pursue them to ensure that Zefram Cochrane makes his maiden flight reaching warp speed.
On the eve of retirement, Kirk and McCoy are charged with assassinating the Klingon High Chancellor and imprisoned. The Enterprise crew must help them escape to thwart a conspiracy aimed at sabotaging the last best hope for peace.
A century before Captain Kirk's five-year mission, Jonathan Archer captains the United Earth ship Enterprise during the early years of Starfleet, leading up to the Earth-Romulan War and the formation of the Federation.
After a joyous wedding between William Riker and Deanna Troi, Captain Picard and the Enterprise crew stumble upon a mysterious signal which results in it being a prototype android who is the twin to Data. Then the Enterprise is invited to Romulus to negotiate peace with the Romulans by their new Praetor named Shinzon. However, Shinzon is revealed to be a clone of Picard who was raised on Remus, a slave planet to the Romulans. Later on, Picard discovers that this peace treaty was nothing more than a set-up due to the fact that Shinzon needs Picard in order to survive. But little do the Enterprise crew know that Shinzon also plans to do away with the Federation by unleashing a weapon that could destroy a whole planet. Written by
Aside from the explosions, the ramming of the Scimitar by the Enterprise is not computer-generated. The filming crew actually ran a model of the forward saucer into a model of the Scimitar, shot it in slow motion, and hung it upside down to give the illusion of the hull flotsam drifting into space. See more »
During the wedding reception Data refers to jazz as an "archaic musical form", even though everyone in the room seems to be familiar with jazz and is dancing correctly. Even Worf knows who the composer of Blue Skies is. Jazz has been featured prominently throughout TNG's seven seasons, as well as in DS9 and Voyager. See more »
Senators, consider the opportunities for the Empire. At last, the destinies of the planets Romulus and Remus will be united. Shinzon of Remus is offering us a chance to make ourselves stronger than ever before. It would be madness to reject it. I beg you not to let prejudice or politics interfere with this Alliance. By joining Shinzon's forces with ours, not even the Federation will be able to stand in our way.
That's enough! The decision has been made. The military does not ...
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There are no opening credits save the title. See more »
After Insurection went down in flames, the big P fired Riker and sent him to director's school. They remembered action, occasionally amidst the humanism, wake the audience up with some action. The Romulans have some faction led by the lower caste Remens who have a cloned version of Baldy, only a pygmy. No wonder he is so hostile; hey, all the maniacs were short: Hitler, Napoleon. They kill the Romulan High Council and lure Baby No Tears to Romulus; I don't know, maybe dresses were on sale? Shinzon, I know, I ordered a set of those knives myself, says he wants a truce with the Federation. I wouldn't trust him if he's seen your movies with you crying like a little girlie. Picard gets there, spends half the film, brunching, kibitzing with him: finally, Thank God, some action breaks out. Testicle boy wants Picard gone, evidently he saw Highlander too many times, he keeps yelling,"There can be only one!!" Before this, in a miracle, we found an identical Data, who is dumb enough to be the screenplay writer. Now, people who read books only, show of hands? Who thinks they are going to kill Data off at the end of the movie? Gee, what a freaking surprise; yes, it is to people who think Jupiter Ascending is a masterpiece.
Baldy Sr. escapes from Testicle boy and they make a run for it. Unfortunately, he has a ship that looks like it was built by Dick Cheney; he catches up with them and blows the living crap out of the Enterprise. Of course, weepy tries negotiating with him with heartwarming speeches right out of The Sound Of Mucus. No, Testicle boy will not tolerate Picard, come over or I turn on the green mood light and your crew will trip the light fantastic. His ship, the Crapatar, has these spider legs that come out and spray green bug spray all over you. The Dress has to stop him from getting to earth with the green bug spray; It occurs to Chrome Dome that Testicle boy would never notice if he rams his ship with thrusters. If the ship came any slower, he could have knitted a rug. He rams and does to Testicle Boy's ship what the movie will do to your brain. Yes, F's it up big time. Baby No Tears beams over and tries to overpower Testicle Boy, yes, good luck, Picard couldn't take his mama. Data has to space jump over, get in there and serve as surrogate gonads for Baldy Sr.
There is the requisite tragedy, they had the sequel all ready with Data Jr. unfortunately the movie made less money than selling sand to desert people. There is this wonderful epiphany where they all reminisce about Data, talk about hilarious. I cried too, they were not tears of sadness. I remember him flushing my toilet. Suffice to say, unless you worship TNG, do not watch the movie. Yes, it has action along with the Data plot hole you could fit a super-massive Black Hole within. The action is interpolated with insufferable, self pleasuring speeches about the nobility of Baby No Tears in specific or the human race in general. Yes, you know, when there aren't 40 wars going on constantly around the world, how freaking noble we are? Please, use more hand creme, if you take my meaning. The acting, especially Baldy Jr., is just awful. The opening scene with Picard giving that wedding speech, I swear, the next time the doctor says you must vomit to live: I have the scene I need, just have Data sing Irving Berlin. Trust me, if Irving were alive he would be looking for these people and not to thank them.
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