Edit

(1995 Video Game)

Quotes

Lou Reed: Impossible doesn't mean really difficult boys. Really difficult is winning a nobel prize; impossible is eating the sun.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

[On astrology]

Penn: It serves no purpose. Well; I guess that's not strictly true; it gives astrology columnists jobs; and it allows people to sherk responsibility for their actions. "I'm sorry I pushed that button; Mr. President sir but Saturn was out of sync and my houses were screwed up."

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Penn: You can play as bad as an accordion in a street quartet, but you can do no wrong.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Penn: Video games are bad for you. How often have you heard that one? And before videogames it was rock and roll comic books, and television and movies. Well; they may have a point about the movies; there hasn't been a good movie made since those pesky talkies came out. But Teller and I grew up on the rest and look at how we turned out.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Penn: If you know anything about Penn and Teller; you'll know this isn't going to be your typical, jump 'em shoot 'em video game. So if you're hoping to goof around with short immigrant piping engineers with lots of facial hair; or some hyperactive nocturnal inseciverious mammal; or a couple of guys pounding each others brains out; if you like that sort of stuff; you're playing the wrong video game.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Penn: You know who Penn and Teller are; and you know what we stand for.

Teller: [holds up a sign saying "pure evil"]

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

[describing 'Desert Bus']

Penn: It's nothing glamarous; it's not pretty; it's not exciting. It's real.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Penn: Hey Teller it's Lou Reed; the original rock and roll animal himself. Lou; how are you doing?

[Lou kills Penn and Teller with lasers]

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Penn: Penn and Teller would never recommend you do these tricks to upset your friends, teachers or family.

[Teller holds up a sign saying "Aw, go ahead."]

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Penn: Our patented Personometer couldn't have been developed without the co-operation of the Cosmic Research Organisation from Clairevoid Conneticut

[he and Teller applaud]

Penn: Thank you CROCC.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Penn: [after being killed by Lou Reed] Wow. You're too cool for us Lou. We'll never be as cool as you are... ever.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Penn: Button A means, "yeah." Button B means, "Yeah!" And Button C means "YEAH!" Not pressing any of the buttons means... you forgot to press one of the buttons.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

[Penn and Teller are reading papers. Teller then taps Penn's shoulder]

Penn: I told you, I'm not done with the science section.

[Teller taps him again and then points to the camera]

Penn: Oh.

[points to self]

Penn: Penn

[points to Teller]

Penn: Teller. But you knew that already. That's why you bought this game.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Penn: This is Absolute entertainment's top secret testing ground. We've been holded up in here; programming, drawing and designing every element of this game all by our ownsome.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Penn: Force of will; yeah right. And I bet with the force of my will I can make Teller disappear.

[Penn disappears instead]

Penn: Wow; I guess some of us are more powerful then others. But the rest of you will need this help to do things *really* cool.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

[Teller is fighting with action figures]

Penn: Yeah; kill! Death! Kill! Death! KILL HIM! KILL HIM! KILL HIM! Your winner and still champion; I shall return to kill again! Buh, ha, ha!

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Penn: I believe it was the great surrealisist artist Salvador Dali said "Whenever someone; even a very attractive person; talks to me about Astrology I never call that person again." Good advice; but if you're stuck with this person; you may as well have some fun with them.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Penn: Our good name is at stake.

[Teller holds up a sign saying "Rip off artistes."]

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Penn: We can deal with you straight. That's why we didn't ever bother putting up a set. We'll put that up later for the intro you'll show to the people with whom you want to mess.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Penn: You'd better practise these scams. Because if anyone is going to look stupid; it should be them; not you.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Penn: A one pound ball; one foot away has the same gravitational pull on my body as Mars does!

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Penn: Can you certainly say what english word Teller has written on this card. No? Teller?

[Teller has written "no]

Penn: Woah! That's as close to pshycic ability you will get.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

[after getting zapped with thermographics]

Teller: AHHH! YIPES!

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

Contribute to This Page