A Muppet Family Christmas (1987 TV Movie)
Snowman: But it's always cold at Christmas.
Fozzie Bear: Ah, Christmas. Time for Santa Claus and his eight prancing rein-bear.
Snowman: That's reindeer.
Fozzie Bear: No, that's SNOW, DARLING!
Ernie: Oh, hi there. Hey, we're Ernie and Bert.
Doc: Hi there yourself, I'm Doc.
Bert: Did you know that Doc starts with the letter "D"?
Doc: Why, yes.
Ernie: Yes! Yes starts with the letter "Y".
Ernie: And true starts with the letter "T".
Doc: [chuckles] Hey, what is this?
Bert: Where we come from, this is small talk.
Doc: Well, whatever you day, nice to be meeting you, but I'd better go up and build some bunk beds.
Ernie: B words.
[he and Bert laugh]
Doc: [after the Muppet babies' Christmas home movie] Aw, that was fun! Even weirdos are cute when they're babies.
Gonzo: [rushing to Doc] I knew you'd learn to love us!
Doc: I didn't say that.
Statler: We'd *love* to see your act.
Waldorf: But we'd hate to *miss* your act.
Statler: In fact, we'd love to *hate* your act!
Snowman: Hey Fozzie.
Fozzie Bear: Yes, Mr. Snowman?
Snowman: Did you hear about the church that burned down?
Doc: [to the Swedish Chef] I don't care if the turkey said the dog was a turkey! The dog is not the turkey! The turkey's the turkey, you turkey!
Doc: There's one worried frog.
Count: Ah, that's ONE! One worried frog!
Robin: No, he's not the only one.
Count: That's TWO! Two worried frogs! Ha ha ha ha!
Kermit: Don't you think we should've called your mother and let her know we were coming?
Fozzie Bear: Oh, how little you understand bears, Kermit. My mother loves surprises.
Gonzo: Well, good, cuz she's in for a honey.
Kermit: You don't have to explain, Doc. If there's one thing Piggy knows, it's how to make an entrance.
Floyd: There's Miss Hamhock when she was just a little sausage roll.
Kermit: Where is your partner?
Fozzie Bear: Outside.
Kermit: Outside? Fozzie it's too cold to go outside.
Fozzie Bear: It's not cold.
Kermit: It *is* cold!
Fozzie Bear: It's not cold.
Snowman: [entering the house] Can I come in and warm up?
Fozzie Bear: Okay, so it's cold.
Doc: Excuse me! You promised me a nice, quiet Christmas.
Emily 'Ma' Bear: You think you're disappointed? I just took three months of surfing lessons for zip.
Various Characters: Careful the icy patch!
Doc: Careful, Sprocket. These may be from some foreign planet.
Emily 'Ma' Bear: Actually, they're from television. I recognize Fozzie's weirdo friends.
Dr. Teeth: Yeah, and we're proud of it, too!
Sam the Eagle: Why am I here?
Rowlf: I've been chasing the truck all the way, and boy am I exhausted.
Fozzie Bear: Kermit, now can I tell you about my new act?
Kermit: I'm all ears.
[hears Sprocket barking]
Kermit: Now what can that be?
Fozzie Bear: What does he mean he's all ears? Frogs don't even have ears!
Kermit: [halting Gonzo and Turkey's argument] Hark! What do I hear?
Gonzo: You're about to hear me make some turkey hash!
Kermit: No, no, listen: me thinks me hears carolers!
Snowman: [to Doc] You'll be sorry! It's cold enough to freeze your Winnebago!
Floyd: [seeing Miss Piggy arriving with Doc] Yeah, and she don't look bad... for a pig.
Maureen the Mink: Hi, I'm Maureen the Mink.
Miss Piggy: What?
Kermit: She said, "Hi, I'm Maureen the Mink."
Miss Piggy: I HEARD HER! I HEARD HER!
Gonzo: Camila's MY girlfriend!
Turkey: You've gotta be kiddin'. You're not even a bird!
Gonzo: Well, nobody's perfect.
Emily 'Ma' Bear: I'm afraid we're running out of room. Two of you will have to sleep on hangers on a hook on the wall.
Gonzo: What a fabulous idea!
Animal: Love hanger! Love hanger!
Floyd: That's the only way Animal ever sleeps, ma'am.
Fozzie Bear: See, Mom? I told you it'd be easy!
Emily 'Ma' Bear: They're weirdos, Fozzie.
Fozzie Bear: Yeah?
Emily 'Ma' Bear: But, they're nice weirdos.
Fozzie Bear: Yeah.
Statler: Well, you know what they say...
Waldorf: If you can't stand the heat, get outta the farmhouse!
Statler: These two comics were made for each other.
Statler: The snowman's ice cold, and the bear's not so hot!
Rowlf: [seeing a piano after his arrival] Aha! Just what I was lookin' for! Look at this little beauty.
[begins playing "Sleight Ride" on it, but it sounds awful]
Rowlf: Whoa-hoa, boy, is this piano outta tune!
[to the camera]
Rowlf: I *love* outta tune pianos...
Emily 'Ma' Bear: There. Fozzie's stocking is hung by the mantle so Santa will bring him a present.
Fozzie Bear: Aw, Ma, this is embarrassing. I mean, I'm not a cub anymore, I'm a grown bear.
Emily 'Ma' Bear: Oh. Well, I'll take it down.
Fozzie Bear: Oh no, I didn't say that.
Robin: Speaking of presents, Grover, I'd like you to have this Fraggle pebble.
[gives the Fraggle pebble to Grover]
Grover: [gasps in astonishment as he accepts the pebble] This Fraggle pebble here is for *me*? Oh, I just love Christmas!
Jim Henson: [as the Muppets sing "We Wish You a Merry Christmas", he watches from the kitchen door] Well, they certainly seem to be having a good time out there, Sprocket.
Jim Henson: Yep, I like it when they have a good time. But tell you what, somebody'll have to do something about these dishes, Sprocket. C'mon. I'll wash, you dry, okay?
Oscar the Grouch: Hey everybody, quiet down! There's a bulletin on TV!
The Newsman: And now, for this news flash: the worst blizzard in 50 years is approaching us at a great rate. The Weather Service reports that barometers are falling sharply.
[a lot of wooden barometers crash on him]
The Newsman: Oh no! Whoa...
Bert: Ernie, why must you always humiliate me?
Ernie: C'mon, Bert. Somebody has to play MaMa, and you lost the toss.
Bert: Oh, well, just get it over with.
Kermit: Another crisis solved.
Robin: Yeah, there sure are a lot of us here.
Kermit: Well, all families start to come together.
Robin: We always get together at Christmas.
Kermit: Yeah, life would just pass in a blur if it weren't for times like this.
Robin: [as he and Kermit search for Fraggles at Fraggle Rock] Do you think this is really Fraggle Rock?
Kermit: Well, I don't know, but if I were a Fraggle, this is the kind of place I'd hang out.
Doc: Sprocket and I came here to spend Christmas alone, but this is better!
Waldorf: After all, there's no business like *snow* business!
[he and Statler laugh]
Janice: [bringing out a basket of Christmas cookies] Hey, everybody, look what I've got: Christmas cookies!
Cookie Monster: COOKIE!
[gobbles up the whole basket, as Animal watches in amazement]
Cookie Monster: Oh, thank you!
Janice: Who was that strange blue creature?
Animal: Dat my kinda fella! Ahahahahaha!
Rowlf: Oh, Mrs. Bear, I've been chasin' the truck, and boy-whoa!
[slips on the icy patch]
Emily 'Ma' Bear: [as Rowlf gets up] Oh, my. I guess Fozzie didn't tell you about the icy patch.
Rowlf: No, I guess he didn't. Anyway, my name's Rowlf the dog; I've come for the holidays.
Kermit: Well, everybody, it's Christmas Eve and the tree is trimmed, so it's time for our annual carol sing. Take it, Rowlf.