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Laughter on the 23rd Floor (2001) (TV) > Memorable quotes
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Laughter on the 23rd Floor (2001) (TV) More at IMDbPro »
Lucas:
My name is Lucas.
Milt: Not Arnie?
Lucas: No, Lucas.
Milt: Too Late. I already learned Arnie.
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Milt: Not Arnie?
Lucas: No, Lucas.
Milt: Too Late. I already learned Arnie.
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[Re: Max's health]
Val: God forgive me for saying this word: Nervous breakdown!
Milt: That's two words. God will never forgive you!
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Val: God forgive me for saying this word: Nervous breakdown!
Milt: That's two words. God will never forgive you!
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Carol:
I'm trying to get pregnant.
Brian: Ask your husband. Why should we do everything?
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Brian: Ask your husband. Why should we do everything?
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Carol:
I took English and Biology in college and now I have no use for either of them.
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[At his mother's grave]
Max: Ma, have you given any thought to moving next to Pop? I think he really misses you. You wouldn't have to talk to him. I think he just wants to lie next to you. It's cold over there. He doesn't have the sun like you. (Listens) Okay.
Harry: What'd she say?
Max: She wants to sleep on it.
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Max: Ma, have you given any thought to moving next to Pop? I think he really misses you. You wouldn't have to talk to him. I think he just wants to lie next to you. It's cold over there. He doesn't have the sun like you. (Listens) Okay.
Harry: What'd she say?
Max: She wants to sleep on it.
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Val:
Max has been very paranoid lately. Has anyone noticed?
Brian: Isn't it impolite to watch someone being paranoid?
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Brian: Isn't it impolite to watch someone being paranoid?
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[With a thick Russian accent]
Val: Go feck yourself.
Milt: There's no such word as feck. A person cannot go feck themselves. You cannot be an American citizen until you learn to say "Go fuck yourself."
Val: Kiss my Naturalization papers.
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Val: Go feck yourself.
Milt: There's no such word as feck. A person cannot go feck themselves. You cannot be an American citizen until you learn to say "Go fuck yourself."
Val: Kiss my Naturalization papers.
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Carol:
I'm pregnant.
Kenny: Mazel-thov!
Carol: Thank you, Kenny.
Kenny: No I was suggesting a name.
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Kenny: Mazel-thov!
Carol: Thank you, Kenny.
Kenny: No I was suggesting a name.
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[Ira has written "I Have A Brain Tumor" on the wall]
Max: Is that gonna wash off?
Ira: Don't you care what might happen to me.
Max: First let's discuss what happened to my wall. Is that gonna wash off?
Ira: I don't think so. It's a permanent marker.
Max: If that doesn't wash off, you will DEFINITELY have a brain tumor.
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Max: Is that gonna wash off?
Ira: Don't you care what might happen to me.
Max: First let's discuss what happened to my wall. Is that gonna wash off?
Ira: I don't think so. It's a permanent marker.
Max: If that doesn't wash off, you will DEFINITELY have a brain tumor.
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Carol:
You wrote on the wall with an indelible marker? A mother would drown her own child for doing that!
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Max:
I want to hit something else. Something big, expensive.
Milt: There's a bank across the street, Max.
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Milt: There's a bank across the street, Max.
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Carol:
Since when has anyone here noticed I'm a woman?
Val: I noticed it when you first came to work here. You never used the men's john.
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Val: I noticed it when you first came to work here. You never used the men's john.
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Brian:
In thirty years, these guys'll be writing game shows and I'll be the Preisdent of M-G-M, screwing Lana Turner.
Milt: When she's sixty-two? Why?
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Milt: When she's sixty-two? Why?
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Brian:
The game is funny names.
Ira: You against me? Where's the challenge? You can have all the other writers.
Carol: Why do I want children? Look what they become.
Val: All right. Let's get this over with. What's the bet?
Writers: Shoes! We're playing for shoes. They take off their shoes My seventy dollar aligators against his worn out Irish cop shoes after 5 St. Patrick's Day parades.
Val: Brian: Up the Irish Crosses Himself Ira: Screw the Pharoah Val:Aaaaaand... Go!
Brian: Rabbi John Wayne.
Writers: Eh.
Ira: The Count of Monte through Friday.
Writers: Oooh!
Brian: Ira Chuvney.
Ira: Ira Chuvney. That's my name. What's funny about that.
Brian: Nothing. NOTHING IS FUNNY ABOUT IRA CHUVNEY!
Writers: Applaud
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Ira: You against me? Where's the challenge? You can have all the other writers.
Carol: Why do I want children? Look what they become.
Val: All right. Let's get this over with. What's the bet?
Writers: Shoes! We're playing for shoes. They take off their shoes My seventy dollar aligators against his worn out Irish cop shoes after 5 St. Patrick's Day parades.
Val: Brian: Up the Irish Crosses Himself Ira: Screw the Pharoah Val:Aaaaaand... Go!
Brian: Rabbi John Wayne.
Writers: Eh.
Ira: The Count of Monte through Friday.
Writers: Oooh!
Brian: Ira Chuvney.
Ira: Ira Chuvney. That's my name. What's funny about that.
Brian: Nothing. NOTHING IS FUNNY ABOUT IRA CHUVNEY!
Writers: Applaud
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[NBC plans on putting a "spy/observer" onto Max's show]
Max: If he's REALLY observant, he's gonna observe me getting upset! And then he's gonna observe me very quietly, and very politely, putting my fist through his fucking face!
[Max then punches a hole in the wall]
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Max: If he's REALLY observant, he's gonna observe me getting upset! And then he's gonna observe me very quietly, and very politely, putting my fist through his fucking face!
[Max then punches a hole in the wall]
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[About Max]
Brian: He called me last night. Said something about we're going to war again.
Val: With the Japanese?
Brian: I don't know, depends on how Japanese NBC is.
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Brian: He called me last night. Said something about we're going to war again.
Val: With the Japanese?
Brian: I don't know, depends on how Japanese NBC is.
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Val:
You think it's funny that Max called me at 12 AM midnight?
Milt: Only when you say it.
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Milt: Only when you say it.
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