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The Musketeer (2001) Poster

(2001)

Quotes

[to the Cardinal]

D'Artagnan: Bless me Father, for I will sin. One night I will come for you.

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Francesca: I'm not dead. Now will you please go kill him?

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Febre the Man in Black: What if I absolutely must kill someone?

Cardinal Richelieu: Well, if you must, you must.

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Febre: Bless me, Father, for I have sinned... It's been a lifetime since my last confession.

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Aramis: We're drunks, not fools.

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D'Artagnan: Do not harm her!

Febre the Man in Black: But, I feel the need to harm someone.

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The Queen: I will die before I help you.

Febre the Man in Black: Well, you wouldn't be the first.

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Rochefort, Richelieu Henchman: You're mad!

Febre the Man in Black: That's the second time this evening I've been called mad, and I'm beginning to resent it.

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Cardinal Richelieu: So you plot the course of history, now. You're indeed mad!

Febre the Man in Black: That's three times. It must be so.

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D'Artagnan: This is not what you think.

Francesca bon Ansau: You have no idea what I think.

D'Artagnan: I-I wish to explain.

Francesca bon Ansau: You behave as though you've never seen a naked woman.

D'Artagnan: Never one quite so... naked.

[sighs]

D'Artagnan: Or so, uh, beautiful.

Francesca bon Ansau: You've seen many ugly naked women?

D'Artagnan: That's not what I meant!

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Buxom Woman at Banquet: Nice sword.

D'Artagnan: Thank you, Mademoiselle.

Buxom Woman at Banquet: Is it a long sword or a short sword?

D'Artagnan: Well, long enough.

Buxom Woman at Banquet: Do you keep your sword polished?

D'Artagnan: Eh, when there's time.

Buxom Woman at Banquet: And do you do it yourself, or do you have help?

D'Artagnan: Myself, I, uh, won't trust my sword to anyone else.

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The Queen: Is there no mercy in your heart?

Febre: No mercy. No heart.

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Aramis: Young Louis was given a baby crocodile from Egypt. The queen dropped it in a sewer, and it's been living off whatever it can find ever since.

Porthos: Is that true, Bonacieux?

Bonacieux: Something kept dragging the poor workers away. All we ever found were bones.

Porthos: I'm very glad you and D'Artagnan lead this little group.

D'Artagnan: Me too. Crocodiles attack from behind.

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Cook: We need more bread. Can you get some, please?

Aramis: Does he mean you or me?

Athos: Me.

Aramis: I thought I was the baker.

Athos: There's blood on your apron. You think that came from a croissant?

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Febre the Man in Black: And what will you do, Your Eminence? Damn me to hell? Well, I'm certain that's where I'm going. And I'm just as certain, we can finish this debate there.

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[D'Artagnan to the horse he "borrowed" for a desperate action:]

D'Artagnan: I'm afraid you're going to regret we ever met.

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D'Artagnan: Don't look at me like that.

Francesca bon Ansau: Like what?

D'Artagnan: Those eyes.

Francesca bon Ansau: They are the only eyes I have.

D'Artagnan: It's unfair.

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D'Artagnan: I don't know what to say.

Francesca bon Ansau: Sometimes it's much better to say nothing.

[D'Artagnan kisses her]

Francesca bon Ansau: Would you care to say that again?

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Aramis: Do not turn your back on me, D'Artagnan, for I will fight you!

D'Artagnan: Do not fight me, Aramis, for I will kill you.

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Porthos: This wine is rejuvenating.

D'Artagnan: Don't get too rejuvenated.

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Rochefort, Richelieu Henchman: You have an interesting fighting style. Where did you acquire it?

D'Artagnan: Here and there.

Rochefort, Richelieu Henchman: Perhaps there. Certainly not here.

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Cardinal Richelieu: You've gone too far. I wish to scare the Spaniards, embarrass the King. I want political tension, not war.

Febre the Man in Black: The Spaniards *were* scared. You could see it in their faces just before died. And I'm certain King Louis feels embarrassed.

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Cardinal Richelieu: He has gone mad.

D'Artagnan: He was always mad. But, when he was your madman it was overlooked.

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[the family is sitting around the meal]

Young D'Artagnan: And we're waiting for Planchet?

D'Artagnan's Father: Oh, I would... but my hunger won't.

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[the four musketeers are observing the stronghold where Cardinal Richelieu's army is entrenched]

Athos: We'll take them by surprise!

D'Artagnan: Yes... they're expecting an army...

Aramis: Oh! Perhaps we shall not disappoint them!

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D'Artagnan: [to his horse] I'm afraid you're going to regret we ever met.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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