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Bulletproof Monk (2003) Poster

Quotes

Kar: So, I figured it out, why hot dogs come in packages of ten and hot dog buns come in packages of eight. See, the thing is, life doesn't always work out according to plan so be happy with what you've got, because you can always get a hot dog.

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Monk With No Name: Somehow I sense he has potential.

Jade: Really? I sense he's mostly full of s***.

Monk With No Name: But rich manure can fertilize fields which will feed millions.

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[Nina shows Jade a picture of a refugee kneeling in front of a man with a rifle]

Nina: Tell me, deep inside, at the bottom of your soul, who would you rather be? The man about to be shot? Or the man about to do the shooting?

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Monk With No Name: An enlightened man would offer a weary traveler a bed for the night, and invite him to share a quiet conversation over a bowl of Cocoa Puffs.

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Monk With No Name: It's not about anger - it's about peace. It's not about power - it's about grace. It's not about knowing your enemy - it's about knowing yourself.

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Monk With No Name: Air is as real as you and me. You have to step on it as if it were a stone, swim through it as if it were the sea. All you have to do is truly believe.

Kar: Believe what, that the laws of gravity don't exist?

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Monk With No Name: Water which is too pure has no fish.

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[Monk puts some ointment on Kar's hand]

Kar: Hey, I like this. It's cool. It's comfy. It's fast acting. This stuff is great. What is it?

Monk With No Name: Homemade. From my own urine.

[Kar sniffs his hand]

Kar: That's disgusting!

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Monk With No Name: Why do hot dogs come in packages of ten, but hot dog buns only come in packages of just eight?

Kar: What the hell is that?

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Strucker: You may be my granddaughter. But that will only protect you for so long.

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Cabbie: [playing ethnic music with no words] Do you guys like this music?

KarMonk With No Name: ...Yea!

Cabbie: It's the bomb diggity.

[phone rings]

Cabbie: Excuse me I have to talk to my baby-mamma-to-be.

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Master Monk: You defeated an army of enemies while a flock of crane circled above. You battled for love in the palace of jade. You freed brothers you never knew with a family you never had.

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Monk With No Name: [of Kar] For some reason, I believe he has potential.

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Strucker: Monk, you may be good, but you are not bulletproof.

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Strucker: I don't like monkeys.

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Mr. Kojima: And I am through taking your messages. My name is Kokijima. Not Sony, Sanyo, Toshiba.

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Kar: You can at least tell me why those guys were chasing you

Monk With No Name: All right.

[throws off coat]

Monk With No Name: Let me put it in a language you will understand.

Kar: [softly] ok

Monk With No Name: Why do hot dogs come in packages of ten while hot dog buns come in packages of just eight?

Kar: Wha! What the hell is that? You can't answer my question with another question, 'specially not one as stupid as that

Monk With No Name: When you attain the state of enlightenment that allows you to answer my question, I will answer yours

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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