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I could totally give my life for blueberry pancakes.
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The worst part about this film is that it did not have to be so terrible.
They had a nice budget, though so do many films; they made it look slick and pretty, and best of all they had the 21st century lesbian-savvy audiences who would embrace a lesbian positive film... and yet the writer and director went out of their way to lift every single redone film bit about lesbian torment and confusion at boarding schools, (you know, the place all lesbian love lives and dies).
This is a theme that has been done again and again and AGAIN in film, but something that viewers-if one uses this voting forum as a clue- cannot seem to get enough of.
Every element of this story was so over the top, excessively phony and contrived that it was painful to sit through. The lead characters say it all: the crazy, abandoned, genius, rebel lesbian tough girl (well, they took a super pretty femme like Piper Perabo and tried to rough her up, but it didn't stick much) seduces pretty rich girl who is destined to betray her.
Watching them every step of the way is character 3, a dopey, well-meaning, wide-eyed, good girl observer. I say 'every step' because she shares her every thought with the audience via the stiffest, most inane monologues.
Her lines seem to have been WRITTEN by a fifteen year old, though they are trying oh so, so hard to sound like how a fifteen year old would really, um, you know, well... talk. "Hearing them (make love) with their noises was um, you know, like, well... okay!" she says about her 2 wanton roommates, who roll around in the bed next to her.
Later she asks Graham Greene- the accomplished native American actor who is completely wasted in a roll as a gardener (!) "Is it wrong to care what people think?"
Sorry, but is she a teenager, or is she age 7?
Granted, Piper Perabo (as Polly the tortured dyke) & others do an okay job for the horrible lines they are forced to utter. Perabo has a nice energy level and is obviously very comfortable in front of a camera. She would do well in a decent project, so this is in no way a criticism of the acting.
But this story is SHAMELESS in perpetuating every single stereotype about lesbians all rolled into one character. They couldn't stop with her (Polly) being an angry, crazy-passionate, secret genius who finished math problems for the speechless teacher. Oh but that's after she argues with the teacher who dares accuse her of "gabbing".
"That's a word THEY (males) use against US (women)!" she says, stomping out of the classroom.
Is this ALL the writer could come up with? Or maybe we should ask: Why stop there?
Poole and co. went on and made Polly a poetic dark child who communicates with wild hawks by screaming their name in the woods.
Cue the slow motion, sci-fi, Xena atmosphere!
Then we have her writing to her birth mother... (most lesbians are love-starved orphans, in case you were in the dark).
Then we have two teachers (one uptight, one a zany type with loose neck ties) who hover around all of the action (the school looks awfully big for just 2 teachers)... and give dark child/ seductress/bird girl tense looks. Hmmmm. I wonder if something well, you know... um, FUNNY is happening between these TWO TEACHERS??????
There is simply no excuse for something this poorly done. Heartbreak happens, but surely the writer and director know that lesbians exist in much more sophisticated times than this schlock.
I cannot reveal the ending out of respect to those who force themselves to sit through til the end, but if you are not laughing, I can only guess you are crying. And not for the right reason. And I don't mean the wimpy make out scenes.
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