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Indiana Jones: [complimenting Sophia] In this light you look just like Vivien Leigh.

Sophia Hapgood: Frankly Indy, I don't give a damn.

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Indiana Jones: Of all the shops in Algeria and we had to walk into this one.

Sophia Hapgood: We'll always have Iceland Indy...

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Arnold: [a Nazi spots Indy in the Crete labyrinth] You there, Amerikanner! Kommen zie! I won't hurt you.

[Indy walks over]

Arnold: Know any good drinking tunes?

Indiana Jones: Maybe, let me think..."Buddy, Can You Spare a Dime"?

Arnold: No, that's too depressing. Now I'll have to amuse myself by tearing your head off!

Indiana Jones: Try singing "So Long, It's Been Good To Know You"

[runs away]

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Indiana Jones: [while exploring the Crete labyrinth] Some date, huh?

Sophia Hapgood: We're not dating Jones; this is not a date, if it was a date, I would've stood you up!

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Indiana Jones: [Indy is making shadow puppets with a flashlight and makes a dog] Neat! Woof, woof!

Sophia Hapgood: ...Indy?

Indiana Jones: [makes an elephant] It's Jumbo! King of the Circus!

Sophia Hapgood: What do you think you're doing?

Indiana Jones: [makes a rabbit] ... and here's Nur-Ab-Sal!

Sophia Hapgood: Stop that this instant!

Indiana Jones: [turns off flashlight] ... sorry.

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[Kerner steps onto the platform on the Godhood Machine]

Klaus Kerner: If anyone's going to become a god, it must be me!

Dr. Hans Ubermann: You? Don't be silly, Kerner! You're not prepared for this!

Klaus Kerner: I'm in charge of this operation, you spineless sausage!

[draws his gun]

Klaus Kerner: Activate the machine!

Dr. Hans Ubermann: [sighs] A test is a test. Plato suggested 10 beads; let's try that.

Indiana Jones: Hang on a second!

Klaus Kerner: What now, Jones?

Indiana Jones: What about Plato's tenfold error?

Klaus Kerner: What about it?

Indiana Jones: Ten beads might give you size ten antlers.

[shrugs]

Indiana Jones: Just a thought.

Klaus Kerner: Hmmm... he may be right. We should divide by ten. Try ONE bead.

Dr. Hans Ubermann: One bead it is!

[Ubermann inserts a bead into the machine and it turns on, slowly transforming Kerner]

Dr. Hans Ubermann: Himmel! It's working!

[Kerner is transformed into a small disfigured demonic creature]

Klaus Kerner: NOOOOOO!

[Kerner plunges himself into the lava]

Dr. Hans Ubermann: A small bead for a small man, eh Jones? Now it's your turn.

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Hans: Hey, you!

Indiana Jones: Me?

Hans: I don't see anyone else. State your business.

Indiana Jones: I'm selling soap. And you smell like you could use some.

Hans: I'll trade you for a lesson in manners.

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Indiana Jones: [subway train Indy is riding crashes through a wall] Ow.

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Guard: [At door to labyrinth] You're trespassing on occupied territory. I've got orders not to let anyone pass.

Indiana Jones: I got a message for Kolonel Kerner. Let me pass.

Guard: I'll deliver it myself. What's the message?

Indiana Jones: Go tell Kerner there's an idiot guarding the door.

Guard: You need a lesson in respect mein herr!

[fight begins]

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[about Sophia]

Klaus Kerner: Jones was a better man than I thought, if he could tolerate HER!

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[last lines]

[looking at the volcano left after Atlantis' collapse]

Indiana Jones: You know, a lot of my discoveries seem like tall tales, even to me. At least there's some evidence now.

[the volcano promptly sinks under the surface]

Sophia Hapgood: Then again, maybe not.

[Indy suddenly kisses Sohia intently]

Sophia Hapgood: [surprised] What was that for?

Indiana Jones: To ease the pain.

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Sophia Hapgood: Not so fast; first I'm going to read your fortune.

[Sophia moves closer to Indy]

Sophia Hapgood: Look into my eyes.

[Indy backs off nervously, Sophia moves in again]

Sophia Hapgood: *Deep* into my eyes.

[Indy backs off again, Sophia follows]

Sophia Hapgood: For Pete's sake, I'm not going to hurt you!

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[as Indy approaches Sophia, the Nazi Guard notices him]

Guard: Who are you? Talk fast, and I'd better like your tone of voice, or you're a dead man!

Indiana Jones: I'm Indiana Jones. Who are you, bucket head?

Guard: Bucket head? What kind of insult is that?

Indiana Jones: I'll let Sophia explain it to you.

[Sophia knocks out the guard with a bucket sitting behind him]

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[alternate dialogue for the conversation above]

Indiana Jones: Has madame Sophia told you your future looks *pail*?

Guard: No, now that you mention it she hasn't.

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Indiana Jones: [to Sophia, referring to a less-than-cooperative colleague] I think the good doctor has frostbite of the brain.

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Indiana Jones: That's enough. The jar is full.

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Indiana Jones: I'm back!

Klaus Kerner: You don't look at all well, Dr. Jones.

Indiana Jones: Exploring our collections can be dangerous, Mr. Uhh... what was your name again?

Klaus Kerner: Smith.

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Guard: Jones, Jones, you never learn.

Indiana Jones: Don't you know when to quit?

[after choosing a line]

Indiana Jones: Let's talk this over... with our fists!

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Indiana Jones: [in Iceland] Cold enough for ya?

Sophia Hapgood: Even colder than my feelings toward you, Dr. Jones.

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Indiana Jones: [Indy finds Sophia trapped in a pit in the Knossos labyrinth, but cannot see her] How do I know you're really Sophia?

Sophia Hapgood: If I wasn't Sophia, how would I know about that cute little birthmark on your...

Indiana Jones: Fine, you're Sophia!

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Indiana Jones: [Knocks on door] Mr. Costa?

Felipe Costa: Pipe down! I'm coming!

[opens door]

Felipe Costa: You again! What do you want?

Indiana Jones: Do you have a bathroom in there I could use?

Felipe Costa: Yes, and no! Now go away!

[shuts door]

Indiana Jones: [Looks at Sophia] Don't start with me!

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Nazi U-boat Captain: [Indy opens the U-boat hatch, alerting the captain] Halt!

Indiana Jones: Uh-oh.

Nazi U-boat Captain: [Climbs up a ladder to the deck] I'm the captain here, and I don't tolerate stowaways!

Indiana Jones: Are you a SUB-captain or a merely SUB-human?

Nazi U-boat Captain: Defend yourself amerikanerschweine!

[They start a fist-fight]

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[first lines]

Indiana Jones: Alright, Jones... How are you going to find that STATUE in all this JUNK?

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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