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Ocean's Eleven (2001) Poster

Quotes

Danny: Second task, power - on the night of the fight, we're gonna throw the switch on Sin City. Basher, it's your show.

Basher: You want broke, blind, or bedlam?

Danny: How about all three?

Basher: Right, it's done.

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[last minute tips for Linus]

Rusty: You look down, they know you're lying and up, they know you don't know the truth. Don't use seven words when four will do. Don't shift your weight, look always at your mark but don't stare, be specific but not memorable, be funny but don't make him laugh. He's got to like you then forget you the moment you've left his side. And for God's sake, whatever you do, don't, under any circumstances...

Livingston: Rus?

Rusty: Yeah?

Livingston: Come look at this?

Rusty: Sure.

Rusty: You scared?

Linus: You suicidal?

Rusty: Only in the morning.

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Turk Malloy: I'm gonna get out of the car and drop you like third period French.

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Danny: Ten oughta do it, don't you think?

Rusty: [Stares of in silence, not looking at Danny]

Danny: You think we need one more?

Rusty: [Silence]

Danny: You think we need one more.

Rusty: [Silence]

Danny: All right, we'll get one more.

Rusty: [Blinks]

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Rusty: [on Danny walking out of prison in a loosened black-tie suit] I hope you were the Groom.

Danny: [on Rusty's attire for picking him up from prison] Ted Nugent called, he wants his shirt back.

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Danny: It's never been tried.

Reuben: Ho, ho... "It's never been tried." It's been tried. A few guys even came close. You know the three most successful robberies in the history of Vegas?

[flashback - the gaming room at the Horseshow, in black-and-white]

Reuben: [voiceover] Number three, the Bronze Medal - pencil-neck grabs a lockbox at the Horseshoe...

[a man grabs a lockbox out of a guard's hand and runs for the door, and six guards instantly tackle him to the floor]

Reuben: He got two steps closer to the door than any living soul before him.

[cut to the present]

Reuben: Second most successful robbery...

[flashback - the gaming room at the Flamingo, in grainy color. A long-haired man is running for the door, clutching a bag]

Reuben: The Flamingo in '71. This guy actually tasted fresh oxygen before they grabbed him.

[the man gets within a few feet of the door, before a guard smashes him across the face with a nightstick]

Reuben: Of course, he was breathing out of a hose for the next three weeks. Goddamn hippy.

[back to the present]

Reuben: And the *closest* any man has ever come to robbing a Las Vegas casino...

[flashback - outside Caesar's Palace, in color. A man runs out, hunched over an armful of cash, followed by three security guards]

Reuben: Was outside of Caesar's in '87. He came, he grabbed...

[the three guards shoot the thief in the back]

Reuben: They conquered.

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Turk Malloy: Watch it, bud.

Virgil Malloy: Who you calling bud, pal?

Turk Malloy: Who you calling pal, friend?

Virgil Malloy: Who you calling friend, jackass?

Turk Malloy: Don't call me a jackass.

Virgil Malloy: I just did call you a jackass.

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[Yen practices the vault somersault]

Turk Malloy: Ten says he shorts it.

FrankLivingstonSaul: Twenty!

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Virgil Malloy: Are you a man?

Turk Malloy: Yes, nineteen.

Virgil Malloy: Are you alive?

Turk Malloy: Yes, eighteen.

Virgil Malloy: Evel Knievel.

Turk Malloy: ...shit.

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Danny: Now, they tell me I paid my debt to society.

Tess: Funny, I never got a check.

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Terry: All right, you proved your point. You broke into my vault. Congratulations, you're a dead man.

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Danny: Does he make you laugh?

Tess: He doesn't make me cry.

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Reuben: Look, we all go way back and uh, I owe you from the thing with the guy in the place and I'll never forget it.

Danny: That was our pleasure.

Rusty: I'd never been to Belize.

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Rusty: God, I'm bored!

Danny: You look bored.

Rusty: I am bored!

[long pause]

Rusty: How was the clink? You get the cookies I sent?

Danny: Why do you think I came to see you first?

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Danny: I'm not sure what four nines does, but the ace, I think, is pretty high.

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Reuben: You guys are pros. The best. I'm sure you can make it out of the casino. Of course, lest we forget, once you're out the front door, you're still in the middle of the fucking desert!

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Danny: Saul, are you sure you're ready to do this?

Saul: If you ever ask me that question again Daniel, you will not wake up the following morning.

Danny: He's ready.

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Reuben: If you're gonna steal from Terry Benedict, you'd better goddamn KNOW. This sorta thing used to be civilized, you'd hit a guy, he'd whack you, done. But with Benedict... at the end of this, he'd BETTER not know you're involved, not know your names or think you're dead because he'll kill ya, and then he'll go to work on ya.

Danny: That's why we're going to be very careful. Very precise

Rusty: Yeah, well-funded.

Reuben: Yeah. Ya gotta be NUTS, too. And you're gonna need a crew as NUTS as you are!

[pause]

Reuben: So who've you got in mind?

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Reuben: I know more about casino security than any man alive, I invented it, and it cannot be beaten. They got cameras, they got locks, they got watchers, they got timers, they got vaults, they got enough armed personnel to occupy Paris!

[pause]

Reuben: Okay, bad example.

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[while they are watching a dozen Chinese acrobats at a circus]

Danny: Which one is the amazing Yen?

Rusty: He's the little Chinese guy.

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[discussing possible candidates for their crew]

Danny: Phil Turenteen...

Rusty: Dead.

Danny: No shit. On the job?

Rusty: Skin cancer.

Danny: D'you send flowers?

Rusty: Dated his wife for a while.

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Tess: You of all people should know Terry, in your hotel, there's always someone watching.

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Rusty: [impersonating a doctor] I'm sorry. He's gone.

Virgil Malloy: [as he and Turk enter, impersonating paramedics] Man, I told you to run.

Turk Malloy: Don't do that.

Virgil Malloy: What, I didn't tell you to run?

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Bartender: [over the noise in the background] How's the game going?

Rusty: Longest hour of my life.

Bartender: [not hearing him] What?

Rusty: I'm running away with your wife.

Bartender: Great!

[He grins and flashes Rusty a thumbs-up]

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Rusty: You'd need at least a dozen guys doing a combination of cons.

Danny: Like what, do you think?

Rusty: Off the top of my head, I'd say you're looking at a Boeski, a Jim Brown, a Miss Daisy, two Jethros and a Leon Spinks, not to mention the biggest Ella Fitzgerald ever.

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Saul: Tess is with Benedict now? She's too tall for him!

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[pretending the Nevada Gaming Commission is racist]

Frank: They might as well call it whitejack!

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Danny: Thirteen million and you drive this piece of shit cross country to pick me up?

Rusty: Blew it all on the suit.

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Danny: There's a ninety-five pound Chinese man with a hundred sixty million dollars behind this door.

Linus: Let's get him out.

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Danny: Why do they always paint hallways that color?

Rusty: They say taupe is very soothing.

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Danny: Tess, you're doing a great job curating the museum, the Vermeer is quite good, simple, vibrant, but his work definitely fell off as he got older.

Tess: Remind you of anyone?

Danny: And I always confuse Monet and Manet. Now which one married his mistress?

Tess: Monet.

Danny: Right, and then Manet had syphilis.

Tess: They also painted occasionally.

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[masquerading as an A.T.F. agent, Rusty shoves Basher against a police car, pretending to search him]

Rusty: [under his breath] Hey, Bash.

Basher: Hey, Russ.

Rusty: How fast can you put something together from what I just slipped you?

Basher: It's done.

[Rusty lifts up Basher, and they slowly leave the crime scene]

Basher: Hey, is Danny about?

Rusty: Yeah, he's waiting around the corner.

Basher: Oh, that's terrific! It will be nice working with proper villains again.

Rusty: [turns and shouts] Everybody down, now!

[they break into a run as explosions rock the crime scene]

Basher: Ha-ha-ha! They weren't expecting that shit!

Rusty: Nice work.

Basher: Oh, thank you.

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[while reconnoitering the casinos]

Virgil Malloy: [makes a note] Leaving at 10:44.

Turk Malloy: 10:46, get a watch that works.

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Rusty: Saul, you're the best there is. You're in Cooperstown. What do you want?

Saul: Nothing. I've got a duplex now, wall-to-wall, goldfish. I'm seeing a nice lady who works the "Unmentionables" counter at Macy's. I've changed.

Rusty: Guys like us don't change, Saul. We either stay sharp or we get sloppy, we don't change.

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Topher Grace: Hey Rus, let me ask you a question. Are you incorporated? Well, if not you should really think about it cos I was talking to my manager...

Rusty: Bernie?

Topher Grace: No, not Bernie, my business manager. You know what? They're both named Bernie. Anyway, he was saying that because what we do here is kind of like research for a future like gig or whatever I can totally make it a tax write off. The only thing is I'd have to pay you by check.

[Rusty stops and looks at him]

Topher Grace: Or we could stick to cash

[Rusty nods]

Topher Grace: You know what? Yeah, let's just stick to cash.

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Basher: So unless we intend to do this job in Reno, we're in barney.

[everyone pauses]

Basher: Barney Rubble.

[they look bewildered]

Basher: Trouble!

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Danny: [holds up a black wallet] Hello Linus. Whose is this?

Linus: Who are you?

Danny: A friend of Bobby Caldwell's.

[produces a plane ticket]

Danny: You're either in or you're out. Right now.

Linus: What is it?

Danny: It's a plane ticket. A job offer.

Linus: You're pretty trusting pretty fast.

Danny: Well Bobby has a lot of faith in you.

Linus: Fathers are like that.

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Terry: I know everything that's happening in my hotels.

Danny: So I should put the towels back?

Terry: No, the towels you can keep.

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Tess: Danny was walking through the restaurant when he spotted me.

Terry: Is that right?

Danny: Yeah, imagine the odds.

Terry: Of all the gin joints in all the world.

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Saul: I have a question, say we get into the cage, and through the security doors there and down the elevator we can't move, and past the guards with the guns, and into the vault we can't open...

Rusty: Without being seen by the cameras.

Danny: Oh yeah, sorry, I forgot to mention that.

Saul: Yeah well, say we do all that... uh... we're just supposed to walk out of there with $150,000,000 in cash on us, without getting stopped?

[pause as everyone turns to look at Danny]

Danny: Yeah.

Saul: Oh. Okay.

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Danny: You gotta walk before you crawl.

Rusty: Reverse that.

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Danny: We'll need Saul.

Rusty: He won't do it. He got out of the game a year ago.

Danny: Get religion?

Rusty: Ulcers.

Danny: ...You could ask him.

Rusty: Hey, I could ask him.

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Topher Grace: Mr Ocean, what do you do for a living? If you don't mind me asking.

Danny: Why would I mind you asking? Two cards. I just got out of prison.

Topher Grace: Really?

Joshua Jackson: Well why were you in prison?

Danny: I stole things.

Shane West: You stole things? Like jewels?

Rusty: Incan matrimonial headmasks.

Shane West: Any money in those? Incan matrimonial

Danny: Headmasks. There's some.

Rusty: Don't let him fool you, there's boatloads. If you can move them. I'll take one. But you can't.

Danny: My fence seemed confident enough.

Rusty: Dealing in cash you don't need a fence.

Danny: Some people lack vision.

Rusty: Probably everybody in cell block E

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Linus: [Yen's cast is caught in vault door, Unaware that Yen is trapped, Danny and Linus try to blow the door but the bomb doesnt go off] Did you check the batteries?

[pause]

Linus: You know, you lose focus in this game for one second...

Danny: I know, somebody gets hurt. You don't hear Yen complaining.

[they replace the batteries and the door explodes]

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Saul: [watching Danny, Linus, and Yen load the money from the vault] That is the sexiest thing I have ever seen!

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Saul: I saw you at the paddock... before the second race, outside the men's room when I placed my bet.

Saul: I saw you before you even got up this morning.

Rusty: How you been, Saul?

Saul: Never Better.

Rusty: What's with the orange?

Saul: My doctor says I need to take more vitamins.

Rusty: So why don't you take vitamins?

Saul: You come here to give me a physical?

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Rusty: Tell me this is not about her, or I am walking. I am walking off this job right now.

Danny: Who?

Rusty: Tess. Terry Benedict. Tell me this is not about screwing the guy who's screwing your wife.

Danny: Ex-wife.

Rusty: Tell me.

Danny: It's not about that.

[pause]

Danny: It's not entirely about that.

[Rusty turns away, furious]

Danny: Russ, do you remember what we said back when we first got into this business. We said we were gonna play the game...

DannyRusty: Like we had nothing to lose.

Danny: Well, I lost something... I lost someone. That's why I'm here.

[long pause]

Rusty: Okay, here's the problem ? we're stealing two things. And when push comes to shove, and you can't have both, which are you gonna choose? And remember - Tess does not split eleven ways!

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[last lines]

[Danny has just got out of jail]

Danny: Hi!

Tess: Hi. We need to get Rusty a girl.

Rusty: There's a women's prison down the road.

Danny: [noticing Tess is wearing her wedding ring] You said that you sold this.

Tess: I said that.

Danny: Liar.

Tess: Thief.

[they kiss]

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Rusty: Why do this?

Danny: Why not do it?

[Rusty shakes his head]

Danny: Cause yesterday I walked out of the joint after losing four years of my life and you're cold-decking "Teen Beat" cover boys.

[pause]

Danny: Cause the house always wins. Play long enough, you never change the stakes. The house takes you. Unless, when that perfect hand comes along, you bet and you bet big, then you take the house.

[another pause]

Rusty: Been practicing this speech, haven't you?

Danny: Little bit. Did I rush it? Felt I rushed it.

Rusty: No, it was good, I liked it. The "Teen Beat" thing was harsh.

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[Basher's original plan for knocking out the casino's power has flopped]

Basher: Hang on a minute, hang on... we could use a pinch.

Danny: What's a "pinch"?

Basher: A pinch is a device which creates, like, a cardiac arrest for any broadband electrical circuitry. Better yet, a pinch is a bomb - now, but without the bomb. See, when a nuclear weapon detonates, it unleashes an electromagnetic pulse which shuts down any power source within its blast radius. Now that tends not to matter in most cases, because the nuclear weapon usually destroys anything you might need power for anyway. But see, a pinch creates a similar electromagnetic pulse, but without the fuss of mass destruction and death. So instead of Hiroshima, you'd be getting the seventeenth century.

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Tess: You're a thief and a liar.

Danny: I only lied about being a thief, I don't do that anymore.

Tess: Steal?

Danny: Lie.

Tess: I'm with someone who doesn't have to make that kind of distinction.

Danny: No, he's very clear on both.

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Tess: You know what your problem is?

Danny: I only have one?

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Basher: That poxy demo crew haven't used a coaxial feed to batten the main line, have they? Instead they've gone and nosed up the backup grid, nosed it right up!

Reuben: [to Livingston] Do you understand any of this?

Livingston: I'll explain later.

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[sitting in a surveillance van with two FBI agents]

FBI Man #2: Let's see if we can zoom in on that guy...

FBI Man #1: Yeah.

[he reaches for the camera controls]

Livingston: Don't - don't - d-don't... Don't touch that.

FBI Man #1: Why not?

Livingston: Uh, do you see me grabbing the gun out of your holster and just waving it around?

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[watching Linus trapped on the upper floor by security guards]

Virgil Malloy: Shouldn't someone help him?

Basher: Oh, that's a good idea, Rabbit. Let's hop out of the van and we can all get nicked!

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Rusty: Saul, turn that off, will you?

Saul: [in fake accent] I'll turn it off when I'm ready to...

Rusty: Saul!

Saul: [normal voice] It's off, it's off!

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[Shaking Billy Tim Denham's hand]

Frank: You have lovely hands. Do you moisturize?

Billy Tim Denham: I'm Sorry?

Frank: [as he slowly crushes Denham's hand in his grip] You know, I've tried all sorts of moisturizers. I even went fragrance free for a whole year. Now my sister, she uses some kind of uh... uh... uh... uh... aloe vera with a little sunscreen in it, and ideally, we should all wear gloves when going to bed, but I found out that that creates a kind of an interference with my... social agenda, you know what I mean.

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Linus: Smash and grab job, huh?

Rusty: Slightly more complicated than that.

Linus: Well, yeah.

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Reuben: You're Bobby Caldwell's kid. From Chicago. It's nice there, do you like it?

Linus: Yeah.

Reuben: That's wonderful. Get in the goddamn house.

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[teaching poker to young Hollywood actors]

Rusty: Shane, you've got three pairs. You can't have six cards! You can't have six cards in a five-card game!

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[in a safe heist]

Basher: All right chaps. Hang on to your knickers.

[He triggers the bomb, and the safe door cracks open. Laughing, Basher dances into the vault - and the alarm goes off]

Basher: Oh leave it out! You tossers! You had one job to do!

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Terry: All right. Now I have complied with your every request, would you agree?

Rusty: I would.

Terry: Good, 'cause now I have one of my own. Run and hide, asshole. Run and hide. If you should be picked up next week buying a hundred-thousand dollar sports car in Newport Beach, I am going to be supremely disappointed. Because I want my people to find you, and when they do, rest assured we are not going to hand you over to the police. So my advice to you again is this: run and hide. That is all that I ask.

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[teaching poker to young actors]

Rusty: Barry, your turn.

Barry Watson: Uh... four.

Rusty: You don't want four. You want to fold.

Barry Watson: I do? Is that a good thing?

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Rusty: 'Wonder what Rueben'll say.

Reuben: [Cut to Rueben] YOU'RE OUTTA YOUR GODDAMN MINDS!

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Reuben: What? Did you guys get a group rate or something?

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Danny: Livingston, we're set.

Rusty: Livingston, we're set.

Livingston: Basher, we're set.

Basher: Hang on a minute chief.

Livingston: We don't have a minute, Yen's gonna suffocate.

Basher: Then you'd better leave off bothering me, don't you think?

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[the rest of the crew get out of the van, with Turk and Virgil in the front; Danny stops Linus]

Danny: What are you doing?

Linus: I'm coming with you.

Danny: No.

Linus: What? Oh, no, no...

[as they shut the doors on him]

Linus: [shouts] Don't leave me with these guys!

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Reuben: Where are they?

Saul: They will be here.

Reuben: [mimicking Saul's voice] They will be here. Schmuck.

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Linus: The last guy they caught cheating in here? Benedict not only sent him up for 10 years, he had the bank seize his house and then he bankrupted...

RustyLinus: -his brother-in-law's tractor dealership.

Rusty: Yeah, I heard.

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[Yen slides down into the hole in the cart]

Rusty: Amazing. You okay? You want something to read, a magazine or something?

[Yen's hand pops out of the hole, giving Rusty the finger]

Rusty: Okay.

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Turk Malloy: Saul, do you get out to Utah much?

Saul: Not as often as I'd like.

Turk Malloy: Check it out. I think you'd dig Provo. You could do well there.

Saul: I'll look into it.

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Danny: You remember the day I went out for cigarettes and didn't come back? You must have noticed.

[goes to sit down]

Tess: I don't smoke. Don't sit!

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Rusty: Did someone call for a doctor?

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[On the phone]

Terry: Who the hell is this?

Rusty: The man who's robbing you!

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[his only line in English]

Yen: Where the fuck you been?

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Rusty: The Bellagio and the Mirage. These are Terry Benedict's places.

Danny: Yes they are. You think he'll mind?

Rusty: More than somewhat.

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[first lines]

[At Parole Hearing]

Woman's Voice: Good Morning.

Danny: Morning.

Woman's Voice: Please state your name for the record.

Danny: Daniel Ocean.

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Basher: Window or aisle, boys? Yeah, we're in deep shit!

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Livingston: The moment you set foot on that casino floor, they'll be watching you like hawks. Hawks with video cameras.

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Rusty: Tell me this is not about her, or I am walking. I am walking off this job right now.

Danny: Who?

Rusty: Tess. Terry Benedict. Tell me this is not about screwing the guy who's screwing your wife.

Danny: Ex wife. It's not about that.

[pause]

Danny: Not entirely about that.

Rusty: Okay, here's the problem. Now we're stealing 2 things. And when push comes to shove, and you can't have both, which are you gonna choose, huh? And remember: Tess does not split 11 ways!

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Basher: It will be nice working with proper villains again!

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Linus: Apparently, he's got a record longer than my... well, it's long.

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Rusty: What's with the orange?

Saul: My doctor says I need vitamins.

Rusty: So why don't you take vitamins?

Saul: You come here to give me a physical?

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[describing Terry Benedict]

Reuben: He'll kill you, then he'll go to work on you.

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Topher Grace: Fellas! Fellas! Check this... all... red!

[Lays down his hand, which is revealed as two diamonds and three hearts, as everyone at the table congratulates him on his "flush"]

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Parole Board Member #1: Mr Ocean, the purpose of this hearing is to determine, whether, if released, you are likely to break the law again. While this was your first conviction, you have been implicated, though never charged, in over a dozen other confidence tricks and frauds. What can you tell us about those?

Danny: As you say, ma'am, I was never charged.

Parole Board Member #2: Mr Ocean, what we're trying to find out is was there a reason you chose to commit this crime, or was there a reason you simply got caught this time.

Danny: My wife left me. I was upset. I fell into a self-destructive pattern.

Parole Board Member #3: If released, is it likely you'd fall back into a similar pattern?

Danny: She already left me once. I don't think she'd do it again just for kicks.

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Parole Board Member #1: Good morning.

Danny: Morning.

Parole Board Member #1: Please state your name for the record.

Danny: Daniel Ocean.

Parole Board Member #1: Thank you. Mr. Ocean, the purpose of this hearing is to determine whether, if released, you are likely to break the law again.

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Danny: How's your wife?

Bruiser: Pregnant again.

Danny: Well, that happens.

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[as Tess walks down the stairs]

Linus: This is the best part of my day.

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Shane West: Hit me.

Rusty: It's not blackjack.

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Danny: All right.

[Bruiser punches Danny]

Danny: Ahh! Jesus, Bruiser, not until later!

Bruiser: Sorry Danny, I forgot.

Danny: It's all right.

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Terry: Well, then inform Mr. Levin that he'll be better off watching the fight in front of his television at home... Surely *he* must have HBO.

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[Yen does the real somersault]

Frank: Ten says he shorts it.

Livingston: No bet.

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Basher: See, when a nuclear weapon detonates it unleashes an electromagnetic pulse which shuts down any power source within its blast radius. Now that tends not to matter in most cases because a nuclear weapon usually destroys everything you might need power for anyway. A pinch creates a similar electromagnetic pulse, but without the fuss of mass destruction and death. So instead of Hiroshima, you'd be getting the seventeenth century.

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Danny: I'm not joking, Tess.

Tess: I'm not laughing, Danny.

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Tess: You're thirty seconds late, I was going to send out a search-

[looks up and sees Danny]

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Tess: Do you remember what I said when we met?

Danny: You said I'd better know what I'm doing.

Tess: And do you? Because you should walk out that door if you don't.

Danny: I know what I'm doing.

Terry: What are you doing?

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Basher: Where we at boys?

Livingston: Pins and floor sensors now.

Basher: Blinder.

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Explosives Cop: That's all you used in the event, nothin' else?

Basher: Hang on, are you accusing me of boobytrapping?

Explosives Cop: Well, how about it?

Rusty: [masquerading as an ATF agent] Booby traps aren't Mr. Torres style, isn't that right, "Basher"? Peck, ATF. Let me venture a guess, simple g form mainliner, backwound, quick fuse with a drag under 20 feet? Yea... let me ask you somethin else did you search this scumbag for booby traps, on his person? I mean really search, not just for weapons?

[cop shakes head no]

Rusty: Stand back.

[shoves Basher against cop car]

Basher: Oy. here we go

Rusty: Go find Griggs, tell him I need to see him.

Explosives Cop: Who?

Rusty: Just find him, will ya?

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Hotel Security: Hi!

Livingston: Fine, thank you.

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Rusty: [Danny comes out of jail] "I hope you were the groom..."

Danny: [looking at Rusty's shirt] "Ted Nugent called, he wants his shirt back..."

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Rusty: [to Danny as he gets out of prison] I hope you were the groom.

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Rusty: [about the caper] Why do this?

Danny: Why not do it?

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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