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Cats & Dogs (2001) Poster

(2001)

Quotes

Mr. Tinkles: The ninjas failed, and failure is unacceptable! If they ever show their faces again, you know what to do.

Calico: Yes. Tell them to wash with a loofah sponge. Kidding! Hello? Joke!

Mr. Tinkles: This can't be happening. I want them eliminated!

Calico: But they did manage to bug the phone. I think we should just concentrate on the glasses half full.

[Mr. Tinkles growls and throws the roll at Calico]

Calico: Ow! That's what I want to do.

Mr. Tinkles: Oh, putting a happy face on. What an interesting philosophy. At what point did you forget WE'RE TRYING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD?

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Mr. Tinkles: I want you to stay here.

Calico: Why?

Mr. Tinkles: Because I hate you.

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Butch: Son of my mom!

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Mr. Tinkles: Evil does not wear a bonnet!

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Lou: I'm on to you, kitty, and you're in big trouble!

Russian Blue: I think not, baby puppy. It is you who is in trouble!

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Mr. Tinkles: Stand still, I need to crush you.

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Mr. Tinkles: Hello, Mr. Sinister Serum...

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Mr. Tinkles: With the dogs out of the way, cats will overthrow the humans and you will recieve your just reward: sixteen pounds of Monterey Jack and the continent of Australia.

[mice cheer]

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Prof. Dad Brody: Bad talking cat!

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Scotty: Loser.

Lou: Cat person.

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Mr. Tinkles: That is all... cats rule.

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Lou: I think that if I'm going to be a secret agent, I should have a better name. I was thinking, "Toto Annihilation".

Peek: Nah, he's a pro wrestler. Sorry, that name's taken.

Lou: Alright then, "Doom Machine" it is!

Butch: Hey! You can call yourself Squicky the Spacedog for all I care, but that doesn't make you behind a rocket pack. You are not an agent.

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Lou: I changed my mind... call me the Claw of Ling Chou!

Ninja Cat #3: Ling Chou this!

[kicks Lou]

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Lou: I've never met a stray.

Ivy: Actually, I prefer "domestically challenged".

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Prof. Dad Brody: Our team is red hot, your team ain't doodley squat!

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Russian Blue: This Tinkles, he is jerk. He talk too much and shed all over.

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Russian Blue: What do they know? I work hard, bring home the Meow Mix...

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[Lou and the Russian cat are rolling on the floor fighting]

Lou: Get off me, you furball!

Russian Blue: You fight like a poodle.

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Mrs. Mom Brody: I have a bat.

Prof. Dad Brody: I have a mitt, and I'm not afraid to use it.

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[Whilst driving like an imbecile]

Calico: [shouting] Get out of the road you lunatic!

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Prof. Dad Brody: Who do you think kidnapped us, Uraguay or Chad?

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Mr. Tinkles: Like a powerful, dark storm, I will make my presence known to the world. Like a seeping mist, I will creep into the dogs' center of power, and make them quake in fear at the very mention of my name!

Sophie the Maid: [Opens the doors and enters] Oh, Mr. Tinkles?

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Sophie the Maid: [sniffing Tinkles] Ah, you're a stinky kitty. First you have to have a bath.

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Lou: Well, Miss Challenged, I'm sorry, but I think you gotta leave. My orders are clear. I -...

Ivy, the Female Alley Dog: Orders?

Lou: That's right. I'm a secret agent.

Ivy, the Female Alley Dog: An agent? Why, you're a little small for an agent. Shouldn't you be busy having fun?

Lou: I don't have time for fun.

Ivy, the Female Alley Dog: Ew! tough guy.

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[Sophie the Maid has made a matching outfit to hers, for Tinkles, and she is pointing it out to him]

Sophie the Maid: Mr. Tinkles? Guess what I made for you. Now you can look just like me.

Mr. Tinkles: [finally speaking] No, I think not, Sophie. Those days are through. What's the matter Large Marge? Cat got your tongue? Boo!

[Sophie gasps]

Mr. Tinkles: Oh my, a talking cat? Scary, isn't it?

[Sophie faints]

Mr. Tinkles: Lock her in the closet, we must remain on scheduele. OUR DAY HAS COME!

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Mr. Tinkles: Dark Cloud? Is that what I'm calling my plan?

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Sam: Doom Machine! You're still alive!

Peek: Yep, all five limbs. Sam, you owe me five pig ears, Hickory Smoked!

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Lou: You should've fought for me; for my family.

Butch: Why? What good would it do?

Lou: What about man's best friend? History 101, remember?

Butch: Okay, well, here's lesson number two: we help them. We work for them. We tolerate that stupid boochy-boochy baby talk crap. And for WHAT? So that when they go off to college, they can dump you off with some old lady who can't throw a ball without so much as breaking her HIP!

Lou: Is that it, then? You're gonna blame my family for what some boy did to you?

Butch: Look, kid, I'm sorry it played out like this, but it's over. We're shut down.

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Russian Blue: [when being interrogated by the dogs] I will tell you nothing! I may look cute and cuddly, but inside... GRANITE!

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Cat with Gas Mask: [breaths like Darth Vader] Cats rule! Cats Rule! Yeyeyeyeah! Mamamamaaaaaaa! Oh, yeah! We kick butt!

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The Mastiff: It appears that once again we find ourselves threatened by the great Cat Menace.

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The Mastiff: Failure is not an option.

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Mr. Tinkles: You!

Calico: Aah!

Mr. Tinkles: Tell me... Is the game afoot?

Calico: Uhhh... yes?

Mr. Tinkles: WHY IS THE GAME AFOOT?

Calico: Uhh... I... I mean no...

Mr. Tinkles: Ah, excellent. So the puppy is dead. Now, we can move on to...

Calico: Wait, wait... Can i change my answer?

Mr. Tinkles: [exasperated] Is the puppy alive or not?

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Mr. Tinkles: Hello, my puny-minded, dog-faced opponents. I'm sure you're wondering to yourselves who it is that will defeat you. Who it is that possesses the intellect to win at this chess game of wits and might? It is I!

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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