Sister Assumpta: But make no mistake, the culprits will be fingered. I will finger the culprits.
Margie Flynn: Francis, tell me the most amazing thing you've ever heard.
Francis Doyle: [pause] There's this fish that lives at the bottom of the ocean and it has a spine sticking out of its head to lure prey. The females are the glowing ones and the males are smaller. After the male fish hatch, they bite onto a female, like parasites. But after a while they grow into each other and share the same blood and everything... They turn into one single fish.
Margie Flynn: Wow... that's really weird.
Francis Doyle: [reading from William Blake's The Tygre] Tyger Tyger, burning bright, / In the forests of the night; / What immortal hand or eye, / Could frame thy fearful symmetry? / In what distant deeps or skies. / Burnt the fire of thine eyes? / On what wings dare he aspire? / What the hand, dare seize the fire? / And what shoulder, & what art, / Could twist the sinews of thy heart? / When the stars threw down their spears / And water'd heaven with their tears: / Did he smile his work to see? / Did he who made the Lamb make thee?
Francis Doyle: [drawing a graveyard as a comic book cover]
Francis Doyle: [the Adventures of Skeleton Boy... ]
[written on a tombstone]
Francis Doyle: [... R.I.P]
Skeleton Boy: [Maniacal Laughter]
[Spits glowing green onto the tombstone]
Skeleton Boy: [title card]
[Written in venom green spit on the tombstone]
Skeleton Boy: [Episode 1]
Tim: I burned all the skin off my hands. I can barely curl my fingers now.
Francis Doyle: There goes your sex life.
Joey Anderson: It's Major Screw going at it with an evil warrior babe.
Tim: Going at what?
Joey Anderson: 69.
Wade Scalisi: That looks more like 47.
Margie Flynn: I used to let Donny do... things to me.
Francis Doyle: What kind of things?
Margie Flynn: Everything.
Francis Doyle: Wait, Donny who?
Francis Doyle: Donnie, your brother?
Tim Sullivan: You've got to aim lower.
[Donny tosses the ball hard into Tim's groin]
Donny Flynn: That low enough?
Tim Sullivan: Not as low as fucking your own sister.
Joey Anderson: That's not true guys, cus there is a bone in your penis, thats why they call it a boner.
Wade Scalisi: oh, oh yea you're right... SHUT UP!
Joey Anderson: what was that for?
Wade Scalisi: You're an idiot.
Mrs. Doyle: [Francis is drawing a girl, remarkably resembling Margie] Girlfriend?
Francis Doyle: I don't have a girlfriend.
Mrs. Doyle: From the body, I'd guess Farrah Fawcett-Majors. From the face, I'd say that Flynn girl.
Francis Doyle: That's all?
Newsie: Man, that's enough to melt an elephant.
Tim: Excuse my friend. He thinks he wants to melt two elephants.
Sister Assumpta: Blake. A little advance don't you think?
Tim: Not really Sister. It's written simply enough for a six year old.
Sister Assumpta: So are the instructions for a handgun.
Naturalist: The head of the sexually aroused adult gobbler can change into a variety of shades of red, white and blue. Yeah, it's a very patriotic bird.
Francis Doyle: Damnit Sullivan, I don't believe it, we just knocked out a cougar with a K-Mart blow gun!
Tim: Alright, seems like the perfect spot for deciding what you really want in life.
Francis Doyle: My own comic book bigger than anything that Marvel or DC has.
Tim: No, I'm talking about what you really want right now, like revenge on the one legged bitch in black and white!
Francis Doyle: [yells] Margie Flynn!
Tim: Shit. I knew it, Margie Flynn.
Tim: Don't you ever tell me to get real. I know what fucking real is okay.
Francis Doyle: Hey Joey, didn't you say something about a wet washcloth?
Joey Anderson: ...Yeah.
Francis Doyle: I think I found your girlfriend!