Edit
The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys (2002) Poster

Quotes

Sister Assumpta: But make no mistake, the culprits will be fingered. I will finger the culprits.

2 of 2 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Margie Flynn: Francis, tell me the most amazing thing you've ever heard.

Francis Doyle: [pause] There's this fish that lives at the bottom of the ocean and it has a spine sticking out of its head to lure prey. The females are the glowing ones and the males are smaller. After the male fish hatch, they bite onto a female, like parasites. But after a while they grow into each other and share the same blood and everything... They turn into one single fish.

Margie Flynn: Wow... that's really weird.

2 of 2 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

[last lines]

Francis Doyle: [reading from William Blake's The Tygre] Tyger Tyger, burning bright, / In the forests of the night; / What immortal hand or eye, / Could frame thy fearful symmetry? / In what distant deeps or skies. / Burnt the fire of thine eyes? / On what wings dare he aspire? / What the hand, dare seize the fire? / And what shoulder, & what art, / Could twist the sinews of thy heart? / When the stars threw down their spears / And water'd heaven with their tears: / Did he smile his work to see? / Did he who made the Lamb make thee?

Francis Doyle: [drawing a graveyard as a comic book cover]

[title card]

Francis Doyle: [the Adventures of Skeleton Boy... ]

[written on a tombstone]

Francis Doyle: [... R.I.P]

Skeleton Boy: [Maniacal Laughter]

[Spits glowing green onto the tombstone]

Skeleton Boy: [title card]

[Written in venom green spit on the tombstone]

Skeleton Boy: [Episode 1]

2 of 2 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Tim: I burned all the skin off my hands. I can barely curl my fingers now.

Francis Doyle: There goes your sex life.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Joey Anderson: It's Major Screw going at it with an evil warrior babe.

Tim: Going at what?

Joey Anderson: 69.

Wade Scalisi: That looks more like 47.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Margie Flynn: I used to let Donny do... things to me.

Francis Doyle: What kind of things?

Margie Flynn: Everything.

Francis Doyle: Wait, Donny who?

[pause]

Francis Doyle: Donnie, your brother?

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Tim Sullivan: You've got to aim lower.

[Donny tosses the ball hard into Tim's groin]

Donny Flynn: That low enough?

Tim Sullivan: Not as low as fucking your own sister.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Naturalist: That's a very thoughtful question...

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Tim: Risk leads to greatness.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Joey Anderson: That's not true guys, cus there is a bone in your penis, thats why they call it a boner.

Wade Scalisi: oh, oh yea you're right... SHUT UP!

[hits Joey]

Joey Anderson: what was that for?

Wade Scalisi: You're an idiot.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Father Casey: Jesus H Christ!

Tim: What does the H stand for Father?

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Mrs. Doyle: [Francis is drawing a girl, remarkably resembling Margie] Girlfriend?

Francis Doyle: I don't have a girlfriend.

Mrs. Doyle: From the body, I'd guess Farrah Fawcett-Majors. From the face, I'd say that Flynn girl.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Tim Sullivan: *They? There is no they, we are they.*

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Francis Doyle: That's all?

Newsie: Man, that's enough to melt an elephant.

Tim: Excuse my friend. He thinks he wants to melt two elephants.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Sister Assumpta: Blake. A little advance don't you think?

Tim: Not really Sister. It's written simply enough for a six year old.

Sister Assumpta: So are the instructions for a handgun.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Naturalist: The head of the sexually aroused adult gobbler can change into a variety of shades of red, white and blue. Yeah, it's a very patriotic bird.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Newsie: Hey it's the altar boys. Here to get altered?

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Francis Doyle: Damnit Sullivan, I don't believe it, we just knocked out a cougar with a K-Mart blow gun!

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Tim: Alright, seems like the perfect spot for deciding what you really want in life.

Francis Doyle: My own comic book bigger than anything that Marvel or DC has.

Tim: No, I'm talking about what you really want right now, like revenge on the one legged bitch in black and white!

Francis Doyle: [yells] Margie Flynn!

Tim: Shit. I knew it, Margie Flynn.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Tim: Don't you ever tell me to get real. I know what fucking real is okay.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Francis Doyle: When you look at me, I can hardly breathe.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Francis Doyle: Hey Joey, didn't you say something about a wet washcloth?

Joey Anderson: ...Yeah.

Francis Doyle: I think I found your girlfriend!

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Tim: Are you with me here, altar boy?

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Tim: Serious trouble beats serious boredom.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

[first lines]

Francis Doyle: Tell me again why we're doing this.

Tim: Homework, Francis. Your future's built on it.

Francis Doyle: [whispered] Right.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

Contribute to This Page