Monarch of the Glen (2000–2005)
Donald Ulyses MacDonald: [referring to Molly's 60th birthday party] I will help in any capacity. Perhaps I could help with the car parking?
Paul Bowman-MacDonald: Great idea, Uncle! And we can put King Herod in charge of the creche!
Lexie MacDonald: Amanda. You're here early.
Amanda MacLeish: Actually I never left.
Lexie MacDonald: Shouldn't you be away executing somebody?
Amanda MacLeish: I'll go polish my axe!
Ewan Brodie: Check that bread out, Paul, local supplier wants to start again.
Paul Bowman-MacDonald: [Paul attempts to cut the burnt, hard, black bread] We used to drive tanks made out of this!
Ewan Brodie: Makes sense to buy from a local!
[Paul chucks the bread in the bin]
PC Callum McIntyre: December 23rd of that year, exceeding speed limit at 82 miles per hour in Park Lane, London.
Donald Ulyses MacDonald: One should not be late for luncheon at the palace!
PC Callum McIntyre: The following day, Christmas Eve, ignoring police traffic signs relating to a one-way street.
Donald Ulyses MacDonald: I was only going one way dammit!
PC Callum McIntyre: Which brings us onto 1981. January 1st, Prince's Street, Edinburgh. Driving in excess of the legal speed limit whilst playing the bagpipes!
Donald Ulyses MacDonald: It was Hogmanay!
Donald Ulyses MacDonald: I do have a way with the ladies, Lexie! It's my burden!
Molly MacDonald: Listen, mush! I can boogie with the best, dance 'til dawn and drink 'til doomsday! So don't give me this old routine! Or I shall give you an injury from which you may never recover!
Amanda MacLeish: Do you have a problem with me being here?
Lexie MacDonald: No.
Amanda MacLeish: Good.
Lexie MacDonald: But I think your husband might.
Paul Bowman: Never had you down as a team player, Isobel.
Isobel Anderson: I could be, with the right person.
[Paul passes Isobel a flask, their fingers touch]
Paul Bowman: And who might that be?
Isobel Anderson: I once thought you and I, maybe. Bit late for that now, I suppose.
[Lucy walks in and interrupts them]
Donald Ulyses MacDonald: I'm being held against my will! It's the front of my human rights!
Paul Bowman-MacDonald: I think you'll find you sacrificed those when you got in the Guinness World Book of Records for the most driving offences ever!
Lady Dorothy Trumpington-Bonnet: Didn't you know? Amanda is married to a businessman twice her age who spends most of his time in the South of France.
Amanda MacLeish: You want a homely little life with a homely little wife... you don't want me at all, you want someone like... Lexie.
Isobel Anderson: I'm more of a Highlander than you'll ever be, Mr. Bowman.
Isobel Anderson: You don't know what it is to let your hair down, do you?
Paul Bowman: Don't I?
Isobel Anderson: Well, when was the last time you went for something you really wanted and not something you had to?
[Paul kisses Isobel]
Paul Bowman: I'd better go...
Paul Bowman: You gave Donald the questions? Why?
Lucy Ford: Because I didn't want you to be laird. I thought that if you weren't, we'd have a chance... er, it's complicated.
Paul Bowman: Not for me, it wasn't. You knew what this meant to me, Lucy.
Lucy Ford: I did it because I love you, and I wanted us to be together. And I knew that if you loved me, I could tell you and you'd forgive me.
Paul Bowman: I'm not sure I can forgive you.
Lucy Ford: 'Cos you don't love me, do you?
Paul Bowman: Lucy, I wanted to. It's just...
Lucy Ford: It's just Isobel, isn't it? It's always been Isobel.
Paul Bowman: I'm really sorry.
Lucy Ford: So am I. So, that's us quits then.
Paul Bowman-MacDonald: [Paul sees Isobel running past the marquee] She told me she was busy!
Chester Grant: She is busy. Playing you like a big old fish. In a kilt! Take it from me, son, that girl's not good for you.
Paul Bowman-MacDonald: You know how it is, Chester. If a thing's worth having, it's worth chasing.
[Paul sets off to run after Isobel]