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Reviews & Ratings for
Equilibrium More at IMDbPro »

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1 out of 4 people found the following review useful:

Gun Ninjas!!!

Author: Freebasedog from New America
3 June 2003

Yo, this movie was powerful weak. Super lame plot twists, heavy derivative sci-fi, and plenty of crappy dialogue - which wasn't even crappy enough to be awesome. But I'll tell you one thing, it's still the best fu#*ing movie of all time.

Gun Katta is the super shiznitch. It rocks the caznock to such a degree that I am now personally offended by every movie that doesn't feature some kind of Gun ninja. Still, shame about all that crappy stuff in between the Gun Ninja antics.

My recommendation: they should remake this movie as "Future Gun-Ninja Squad" in which new Gun Ninjas would have to fight a giant evil Robot with a Hitler mustache and a crown. These new gun ninjas should travel by rocket powered hang-gliders and have special evolved training monkeys who help them perfect their art.

But the monkeys are sort of like Yoda, cuz they don't take part physically most of the time, they just impart age old (in the future) monkey wisdom on the Gun Ninjas. And they wear glasses and have funny accents. On weekends the Gun Ninjas like to listen to disco music and do crazy ninja dances. Then when the Gun Ninjas go on a mission they say stuff like "Time to Run'n'Gun" or "Gunners Ho" or "Let's go shoot these mutherf*%#ers"

In the sequel "Super Gun-Ninja Squad 2: Cold Steel" (and remember I've only had time to roughly outline this one so far) the Gun Ninjas find themselves stranded on a planet with no bullets and have to fend for themselves against Christian Missionaries gone bad, or "Mishies" as they are called by the locals. Also they totally 'do it' with alien girls, which is a double mind blower cuz Gun Ninjas aren't normally allowed to have sex even with human girls - who are referred to in the future as LadyPeople.

Part III coming soon. I can't tell you much other than there's new threat that's more powerful than anything in history and the Gun Ninjas have to wear Robo-Armor to fight it.

Don't nobody steal my ideas else ya'll'll be sorry that ya did.

Copyright 2003 Freebasedog Enterprises

Anyone interested in optioning the "Gun Ninja" Film Franchise may send a cheque for $50,000 Rights still available for action figures, Gun Ninja Saturday morning cartoon, Gun Ninja Chocolate Bar, and actual Gun Ninja guns.

1151 reviews in total

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