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The Fairly OddParents (TV Series 2001– ) Poster

Quotes

Dad Turner: Timmy... I'm respecting your privacy by knocking, but asserting my authority as your father by coming in anyway.

[Timmy throws a water balloon at Francis, which misses him and ends up hitting someone in France]

The French: We surrender!

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Timmy Turner: Dogs have great sense of smell, they can see in black and white, and they can go to the bathroom any where they want.

Cosmo: So can I, I'm just polite.

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Wanda: [to Timmy, who has wished that he lived at the circus] You can't stay a carny forever, Timmy.

Cosmo: Yeah, you don't have the experience! You've never even been to prison.

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Timmy Turner: Hey guys, what's new?

[Cosmo lights candles under water]

Wanda: The laws of physics.

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Cosmo: I married the smart one.

Wanda: I married the... well he's cute, right?

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Norm the Genie: [about Canada]

[darkly]

Norm the Genie: They've had it too good for too long.

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Cosmo: Oh, relax, Timmy. She'll probably stop laughing when that alien flower you gave her eats her heart out at midnight.

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Cosmo: [after fairy world blows up] I regret nothing!

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Cosmo: [to Timmy] What did New Zealand ever do to you?

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Mom Turner: Timmy, you know you're not supposed to make your father scream like a girl three times in one day.

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Wanda: You made your dad cry.

Cosmo: Yeah. Usually it takes a monkey or a bowl of pudding to do that.

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Timmy Turner: This is great! A world without girls. I can do whatever I want!

Timmy Turner: [farts] I'm free!

Cosmo: [Cosmo sniffs the air] Wow, freedom stinks.

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Chester's Dad: [crying] Without that tooth, you look just like your momma.

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Vicky: All right twerp, time for bed!

Timmy Turner: But it's only six-o-four!

Vicky: Well, it's nine-o-four on the East Coast. BED!

[one moment later, in Timmy's bedroom, Timmy's clock changes to six-o-five]

Cosmo: Now it's nine-o-five on the East Coast!

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Wanda: Awwwww, Goat Love!

Cosmo: They say it's the most honest love around.

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Cosmo: Apparently, another thing I'm chock-full of is not knowing stuff.

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Denzel Crocker: [shows painting] And here's another painting... The Scream.

Timmy Turner: Why is he screaming?

Denzel Crocker: Because he was wrong! And he got an F!

[unrolls bottom of painting to reveal a table next to the screaming person, with an F on it]

Denzel Crocker: Like you!

[sticks a paper marked F on Timmy's hair]

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Timmy Turner: I wish I could leave this room inconspicuously.

[Cosmo turns his desk legs into rockets. Timmy blasts through the ceiling]

Timmy Turner: Ahhhhhh!

Wanda: [to Cosmo] It means without being noticed.

Cosmo: Well, if he wasn't screaming, he wouldn've been noticed.

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Timmy Turner: This may sound cliche, but you've gotta throw my severed head into the clearance bin!

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Timmy Turner: I'm huge, I hurt people, and I'm misunderstood!

Cosmo: Just like the IRS!

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[angrily]

Dad Turner: Oooh... Dinkelburgs!

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Wanda: [chasing Vicky through space] The force is strong with this one.

Cosmo: Luke, I am your father. I always wanted to say that.

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Cosmo: [Cosmo as gelatin] Gaze into my jiggly goodness and see the artificial falsehood of your words.

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Timmy Turner: Note to self: Never break up with a girl in the Violent Gardening Tool section.

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Timmy Turner: I'm big, I'm hurting people, and I'm misunderstood!

Cosmo: Just like The IRS.

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[the holiday mascots are talking about what they do]

Cupid: Well, I make kids fall in love.

Kids: EW.

Cupid: Point taken.

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Cosmo: Not Vicky.

Wanda: Icky with a V.

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[after being turned into a turtle and found by a hungry boy]

Wandisimo: No. I am too sexy to eat.

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Dad: Egad.

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Cosmo: If Wanda sees this, she's gonna think I'm an idiot.

Timmy Turner: And this would be news to her *how*?

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Timmy Turner: Boring conversation. Can't focus.

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Wandisimo: Can it be? Wanda the love of my life who I lost to Cosmo who I lost when he married you so you'd stay lost to me?

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Cosmo: [because Wanda is dressed as a pancreas]

[grinning]

Cosmo: You can be removed?

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Wanda: Uh-oh... my "Cosmo is going to make Timmy dead" sense is tingling.

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[repeated line]

Denzel Crocker: [shouts] Fairly godparents!

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[after going back in time]

Timmy: Cool! We're in the Middle Ages!

Cosmo: Look! I'm middle aged!

[Poofs into a middle aged man]

Cosmo: YOU KIDS GET OFF MY LAWN!

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Denzel Crocker: Curse this obsolete one month old technology!

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Timmy Turner: Wow, my mom as a kid.

Young Dad Turner: Yeah... and she's got a beautiful name. It's...

[a Mack truck, blowing its horn drives by Timmy and Young Dad]

Young Dad Turner: ...but everybody calls her Mom.

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Wanda: Two wrongs don't make a right.

Cosmo: But three rights make a left, and now it's time for the show!

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Cosmo: Don't forget the rabies! Everything tastes better with rabies!

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Principal Waxelplax: [after Timmy has won the election and the kids have come back from getting food poisoning from cake] So, Timmy, what do you say to having all the responsibilities of president?

Timmy Turner: Piece of cake!

[all kids get sick and their faces turn green]

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Mom Turner: Timmy, you know how your dad gets around people who are on money.

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Cosmo: That's what got me on probation.

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Trixie Tang: You're 0.01% more of a person in my eyes.

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Cosmo: Now will you hold me?

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Wanda: He thinks everything is funny. Watch.

[turns to Cosmo]

Wanda: Pudding.

Cosmo: HAHAHAHA. She said pud and then she said ding.

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Timmy Turner: May I *please* have my ball back?

Dr. Bender: What's the word I'm looking for? Uh... NO! HAHAHA

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Mayor: I hate not being the goat.

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Timmy Turner: [being embraced by Vicky] Urk... Oxygen... Darkness...

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Wanda: Look at our chart. 99.9% Timmy. 0.01% Other.

Timmy Turner: What's the other?

WandaCosmo: Timmy!

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Dad Turner: [Mr. Turner is being eaten by a dragon] It looks and feels like I'm getting real third degree burns! Ow! I mean, neat!

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Denzel Crocker: [Principal Waxelplax has locked everyone inside the classroom] No! I can't be locked in a room with children! I'm not a people person! I'm barely a person!

[ducks behind his desk]

Denzel Crocker: HELP!

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Jorgen von Strangle: What in the name of my bulging tripceps is going on?

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Jorgen von Strangle: For failing to distract the dragon, the handsome fairy loses! However, he is still very sexy.

Wandisimo: This I can live with.

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[Cosmo has gotten breast implants]

Cosmo: I'm keeping them.

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Timmy Turner: Awesome- boys fighting over me!

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Wanda: [Wanda is reading a book in the "All Men are Morons" section of the library] Oh, Hillary! How did you put up with it?

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Mom Turner: You just need to be more secure in your masculinity - like me.

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Cosmo: I don't get it. If you're not married to her, why is she trying to kill you?

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Chip Skylark: [about to faint] Tuesday's... apple sauce... day...

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Timmy Turner: Feel better now?

Chip Skylark: Yeah. I didn't have to go to the bathroom, but the sound of flushing calms me down.

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Dad Turner: Yay, I'm unemployed!

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Dad Turner: It's deserted and lonely, just like my childhood!

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Nega-Chin: Adam West's waistband!

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Wanda: Timmy, you can't have both brains and brawn. You have to pick just one.

Cosmo: Or do what I did. Pick neither.

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Timmy Turner: It's fun and destructive. It's funstructive.

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Dad Turner: [to Mom Turner getting her vegetables ready] Hurry, honey! The judges are judging and the Dinkelburgs are Dinkelburging!

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Denzel Crocker: Hey, Turner exploded! That's one less mouth to teach!

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[Mr.Crocker gives Cosmo and Wanda coffee. The two of them start acting hyper and jump up and down]

Cosmo: This coffee is great!

[shouts]

Cosmo: Coffee! Coffee! Coffee! Where do they get this stuff?

Denzel Crocker: Columbia.

Wanda: Oh! We should go there!

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Chester McBadbat: You replaced me with an actor with better teeth!

A.J.: And more hair!

Sanjay: And a well-oiled chest!

[pause]

Sanjay: What? Am I the only one who noticed?

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Mom Turner: Losing our son was the best thing to ever happen to us!

Dad Turner: We have a son?

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Cosmo: What's wrong with being naked in public?

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Jorgen von Strangle: It's time for some fairy-oke!

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Announcer: [to Timmy, who is dressed in costume] You might want to take off the maid outfit; it's pretty creepy.

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Sanjay: [dazed look at Timmy, as if he was coming onto him] I'll see you in my next dream.

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Timmy Turner: Man, that was one tough montage.

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Cosmo: The good news is I found my spleen!

Timmy Turner: That's a rare steak.

Cosmo: In that case, I'm taking it back. I ordered my spleen medium rare.

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Wandisimo: Principles, much like my biceps, are muy bonito.

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Crimson Chin Action Figure: There's trouble afoot - I mean, a-chin!

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Vicky: I don't mean to be mean all the time. It's just that I really am.

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Sanjay: [Timmy shows up to save everyone from Unwish Island] I'm having one of those dreams where Timmy saves me again!... Where's your white horse?

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Wanda: Don't you think you should be looking for your mom, dad, friends Chester and AJ, and back-up friends Sanjay and Elmer?

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Dad: Good thing I landed on this nice, soft mom!

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Timmy Turner: [reading the title of a book that Dad Turner has just handed him] The Stupid Dad's Guide For Teaching His Weak and Defenseless Son Kung Fu?

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Mom Turner: [Timmy is eating ceral like a dog] He sure is hungry.

Dad Turner: No, no, that's just the way all kids eat cereal now; face first. I'm hip!

[Starts to eat his cereal like Timmy]

Timmy Turner: [School bus arrives] School bus! School bus! Chase! Chase! Chase! Chase!

Dad Turner: Wow, does Timmy love school or what?

[Sticks face into cup of hot coffee]

Dad Turner: Oww, hot! It doesn't work with hot!

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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