[first title card]
In November 1999, three college coeds dissappeared in the woods of Bacchusville NJ, while searching for the mythical Erotic Witch. Two weeks later their home video was found.
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An amusing and sexy softcore spoof starring the superhot Laurie Wallace.
In the midst of the popularity of The Blair Witch Project, it was inevitable that such a pop phenomenon would come to inspire so many parodies. Unsurprisingly, one such spoof took the soft core path, and it's probably the most popular of the bunch.
Take the original plot, make it three young women instead of two guys and a girl, and put them off to the woods in the search of the legendary erotic witch and you've got the (very) basic plot for The Erotic Witch Project. Of course, these three ladies come under the influence of the erotic witch and end up getting into all sorts of lesbian encounters with one another.
Since this is a softcore film, this should be reviewed on an entirely different basis than the average movie. After all, things such as acting, writing, and competent direction don't matter here. All you need to see are three attractive women who display lots of skin and get it on with one another. Even at that, it's hardly perfect, but it'll probably work up a quick fix for those who like this sort of thing (being a guy, I do like this sort of thing).
The three women on hand are Katie Keane (who now seems to go by the name Laurie Wallace), a blonde; Victoria Vega, a brunette; and Darian Caine, who has dark hair. Wallace is easily the most physically attractive of the lot (which is nice considering she spends the entire last half-hour wandering around in a forest without any clothes on) and also displays the most acting ability (or maybe a better way to put it would be more enthusiasm than both Vega and Caine combined). Wallace is, in fact, one of the hottest women I've seen and even her imperfections (admittedly, her posterior has quite a bit of slightly saggy skin covered with stretch marks) actually add to that "girl next door" feel, even though she's easily hotter than anyone living in my neighborhood.
She gets in at least two classic moments, the first is when she and Vega are under the spell of the erotic witch and she complains about being nude on video while Vega strips Wallace's clothes off one-by-one. The second is probably the most famous scene in the entire movie, a three-minute long parody of Heather Donahue's tearful "I'm so sorry" speech, except Keane happens to be fondling her bare breast for the entire segment. Wallace also has another sexy scene where Darian strips her, all the while claiming she's only letting her do it for documentary purposes. Then they proceed to have a very lengthy lesbian session.
Full-bodied brunette Victoria Vega is also quite attractive, not nearly as much as Wallace, but certainly much preferable to Darian Caine.
The Erotic Witch Project most definitely could have done without the guy running around in a gorilla suit who occasionally makes grunting noises during the lesbian scenes. And hey, it probably could have even done without Darian Caine, whose constant griping and raspy voice are more annoying than sexy. Still, this is an amusing, sexy softcore flick that Blair Witch haters will probably find up their alley.
rating as an actual film: D+
rating as a sofctore film: A- (would have been an A with someone more attractive than Darian Caine)
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