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Dalila Di Lazzaro
This movie clearly demonstrates why people shouldn't give other people their home-made movies.
The story, what little you can find of it, is that 2 twin brothers go to visit their aunt Lacy at her farm. The place is supposedly being kept in shape by Jeremy, but he's kinda busy killing people and using their corpses for sexual gratification. The twins begin finding body parts and grow weary of Jeremy. On top of this, Lucy has been alone too long and now finds herself lusting for one of her nephews. Eventually the twins decide enough's enough and try to get away. There's plenty of sick stuff going on, but the rest of the movie is so annoying, you'd be hard-pressed to even notice.
To my amazement, I actually found something not that bad in this movie. The guy playing Jeremy looked truly freakish and was doing a fairly decent job acting.
Absolutely everything else in the movie was undeniable crap though.
It was cut with a spoon, and put back together using chewing gum or something. You went from scene 1 with (extremely annoying) background music playing, to a silent shot of some scenery. No fading out the sounds here, instead they chop it off mid-tone. I lost count of the amount of times there was a crackle or pop when they put 2 scenes together.
The assembled corpses looked okay, but then someone would stand over one and work it over with an axe, getting blood sprayed into him from the side. Come on people, stuff like that isn't rocket science.
The lighting sucked in that oftentimes you couldn't see anything, but even more often everything was way, WAAY too bright, having the same end result.
The dialog, notably absent for the first 5 minutes of the film, was stupid and (st)uttered completely unconvincing. The redneck with Down's syndrome accents of the twins didn't help either.
This movie also has a rather large abundance of walking, sleeping, running, sitting doing nothing, reading the damn newspaper (and not noticing anything to help the story along), awkward silences and more, equally enjoyable filler.
The guy handling the camera seemed to be having Parkingsons disease or something. They couldn't even take a shot of the moon without shaking the camera!
To round it all off, they decided to add a (gasp) plot twist (!) at the end of the movie. If only the creative genius that dreamed that one up had been able to stay focused during the other 90 minutes of the film...
That this movie got a 3.7 here is a miracle in itself, and it's certainly undeserved. The fact that it's a home-movie doesn't excuse it from being the crap that it is.
This movie isn't fun, shocking, entertaining or gruesome. It's a dull, slow, boring, fake, cheap dog of a movie, and your time would be better spent watching paint dry.
5 of 8 people found this review helpful.
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