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Ophelia Learns to Swim (2000)

 |  Comedy
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Ratings: 5.2/10 from 34 users  
Reviews: 1 user | 1 critic

A wimpy girl turns Superheroine when she joins bankrupt Mother Nature, The Librarian & the Chocolatier to battle wealthy villains Virginia Svelte, Cosmetic Chick & The Doucher.



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Title: Ophelia Learns to Swim (2000)

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Cast overview:
The Broom Witch
Tina / Bitch-on-Wheels
The Doucher
Virginia Svelte
Dian Kobayashi ...
The Librarian
Meishach Moore ...
LaVonne Rae Andrews ...
Handy Man
Tony Ketcham ...
Ophelia's Dad
Cosmetic Chick
Marjorie Lovett ...
The Stitcher
The Cop (as Alexa Motley)


Ophelia is a bimbo living with her father and brother in the L.A. Valley. Her Dad expects nothing from her, except to clean the house. Her boyfriend Hamilton seems supportive, but Ophelia experiences troubling nightmares. In them, she reenacts scenes from her favorite film, TITANIC...but Hamilton is encouraging her to jump off the railing ("Go ahead, the water's warm!") and pushing her off the driftwood. Ophelia, like her Shakespearean namesake, can't swim and has a pathological fear of water after her mother drowns . One day, Ophelia's brother Larry brings home a broomstick he stole from "some witch." The family is startled when a real witch shows up on their doorstep demanding the broom, which Ophelia has broken. A new magic broomstick from Denmark costs $7,500. The witch demands either Dad sell his beloved pickup truck, or hand over his daughter. For Dad, it's no contest, and the witch takes Ophelia away on an upright vacuum cleaner into the night. Ophelia becomes the witch's ... Written by Jürgen Vsych

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1.85 : 1
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Made by an 80% female cast and crew. See more »

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User Reviews

A comedy from "The Woman Director"
8 April 2006 | by (United States) – See all my reviews

A wimpy girl turns Superheroine when she teams with The Librarian, The Chocolatier and Mother Nature to battle corporate villains Virgina Svelte, Cosmetic Chick and The Doucher.

"Ophelia" cleverly mixes comedy, tragedy, social satire and fantasy in telling the tale of a girl at a crossroads - does she sell out to corporate villains in order to be popular, or take the lonelier, harder road to save the planet?

The film stars the talented, funny and beautiful Julia Lee of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Angel." This film premiered just 3 days after 9/11 at the Temecula Valley International Film Festival, so its release was ignored by the media. It has been gaining a cult following on the film festival circuit, and is now on DVD.

"Ophelia" was written, directed and produced by Jurgen Vsych, author of "The Woman Director," the first autobiography by an American female film director. I highly recommend this well- written, directed and acted jewel.

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