- Killer: So, do you have a date tonight?
- Kenny Beeker: Why, do want to ask me out?
- Killer: Possibly. So, what's your name?
- Kenny Beeker: Why do you want to know that?
- Killer: I just like to know who I'm watching.
- Kenny Beeker: ...Could you repeat that?
- Killer: I said, I like to know who I'm talking to.
- Kenny Beeker: That's not what you said.
- Killer: What do you think I said?
- Kenny Beeker: Who's there?
- Killer: Oh, come on! Don't you pay attention to the movies you watch? You never say who's there unless you're ready to be ravaged!
- Kenny Beeker: Fuck you!
- Sam: What's your favourite porno?
- Sam: Oh, come on, you know I don't really watch those things.
- Killer: Why not? Too hot for you?
- Sam: No, it's just that it's always got some guy who meets a nameless, faceless stranger with an enormous dick who can't act ready to fuck anything you put in front of him instead of getting a meaningful relationship. It's insulting for them to say that's what all men want.
- Killer: You hang up on me, and you'll die, just like your boyfriend. You want to die, Sammy? I know your poor dead boyfriend didn't.
- Ricky: Okay, everybody, listen up! Tonight's film fest includes Wild Sex in America, Attack of the 30ft Dildo, and The Hotels Parts 1 and 2. So sit back, pull up a cock, and let's turn this place into The Porn House on the Hill!
- Tom: Oh, very funny, Ricky. You know, if Sammy sees you, he's gonna flip out. Cute. Oh, I get it; I'm supposed to be the scared yet strangely horny guy who gets to suck your big old cock. Oh, please, Mr. Porn Man, don't fuck me now, I want to get fucked in the sequel!