Two of Us (2000 TV Movie)
Paul McCartney: [John grabs Paul and kisses him. Paul pushes him away] Get off! God... just cause Yoko's away doesn't mean you have to stop brushing your teeth.
John Lennon: You know you wanted it, you tart.
Paul McCartney: Is my name Brian?
Paul McCartney: You look very thin.
John Lennon: Mother's got us on the macrobiotic diet.
Paul McCartney: Mother?
John Lennon: Yoko.
John Lennon: There is little difference between the one who bows and the one who is bowed to.
Paul McCartney: Ooh, very "I am the Walrus."
John Lennon: [offering Paul McCartney the chocolate, and quoting "Revolution 9"] Take this, brother. May it serve you well.
Paul McCartney: I knew it all along!
John Lennon: What?
Paul McCartney: You... pretendin' you didn't know me music.
John Lennon: Come on, Paul. You're the biggest bloody thing since The Beatles!
Paul McCartney: Oh, mmm... whatever became of them?
John Lennon: They all grew up and became lawyers.
Paul McCartney: Where are we going, Johnny?
John Lennon: Straight to the top, boys!
Paul McCartney: Oh yeah? Where's that?
John Lennon: The toppermost of the poppermost!
John Lennon: You're getting old, mate.
Paul McCartney: Speak for yourself, dad. I've still got me pretty face, you see?
John Lennon: That you have.
Paul McCartney: I heard you let your recording contract run out. Somebody told me that you might never make another record.
John Lennon: It's no skin off my teeth.
Paul McCartney: Off your nose, you mean.
John Lennon: No, off me back.
Paul McCartney: You're not serious.
John Lennon: No skin off me back.
Paul McCartney: No, I mean about...
John Lennon: You thought it was off me nose.
Paul McCartney: Seriously, John.
John Lennon: Seriously, Paul.
Paul McCartney: What?
John Lennon: What?
John Lennon: I gaurantee you, when he finally gets the nerve to come over here, it'll be, "My Connie adores you, and my Carla thinks you're fabulous."
Paul McCartney: My Heather likes you.
John Lennon: Her too, yeah.
Paul McCartney: No, I mean *my* Heather. She thinks you're all right. No accounting for taste, but she seems to have a bit of a crush on you.
John Lennon: What, Linda's girl?
Paul McCartney: Hey, she's my Heather too. I legally adopted her a long time ago.
John Lennon: How old is she now?
Paul McCartney: She's thirteen. Can you believe I've got a teenage daughter?
John Lennon: [greeting Paul] The ghost of Christmas past.
Officer Francis: Kind of an interesting aroma lingering.
John Lennon: Yah, yah, vat is that?
Paul McCartney: Vat is that?
John Lennon: Possibly eminating from your ass.
Paul McCartney: From your horse. Yah, fine-looking, beautiful creatures.
John Lennon: Tell me, are those genuine jackboots?
Second Officer: Looks like we've landed one with a real attitude. You fellows wouldn't be indulging in any illegal substances now, would you?
John Lennon: Oh, nein, nein.
Paul McCartney: Just enjoying some good music, yah, yah.
John Lennon: [Answering the Intercom System] Help me, I'm trapped inside this little box.
Concierge: Good afternoon, sir. You have a visitor.
John Lennon: Friend or foe?
Concierge: I believe he is an old friend, sir. He says he wishes to surprise you.
John Lennon: How do I know he is who he claims to be?
Concierge: I'll vouch for him, sir. He is a familiar face.
John Lennon: Check him for drugs and send him up.
[John hangs up]
Concierge: Take Mr. McCartney up to see Mr. Lennon.
Elevator Attendant: It's an honor to meet you, sir.
Paul McCartney: Oh, thank you.
Paul McCartney: Luckily for us, they were pretty harmless, those two.
John Lennon: Yeah right, just like the harmless cop who drove his harmless little car over me harmless mum. He was pretty harmless, wasn't he? They're all bastards.
Paul McCartney: Come on, John, you're living in the past. One cop in Liverpool twenty years ago's got nothing to do with those two just now.
John Lennon: Look, cops is cops, New York or Liverpool!
Paul McCartney: You're just exploiting them as scapegoats for all your repressed and pent-up anger.
John Lennon: Piss off.
Paul McCartney: You know I'm right.