Repressed Julian falls for the philandering Romeo.Repressed Julian falls for the philandering Romeo.Repressed Julian falls for the philandering Romeo.
- Awards
- 4 wins
- Director
- Writers
- All cast & crew
- Production, box office & more at IMDbPro
Storyline
Did you know
- SoundtracksRomeo & Julien
Music, lyrics and performance by Sharon Kane
Featured review
The PLAN 9 of porn...wish they'd issue a soundtrack CD.
As a fan of dodgy, gonzo oddities from every stripe of cinema, I've seen my share of hard-X flyballs...FORCED ENTRY, HARDGORE, BATPUSSY, and CAFE FLESH spring to mind. The gay porn undertow, however, seems somewhat lacking in supremely left-field specimens...there's the bizarre THUNDERCRACK!, and a deeply dispiriting work of anti-erotica called DO ME EVIL, but no others have come to my attention...
...until recently. A like-minded internet acquaintance asked me if I'd seen a gay porn/romantic musical called ROMEO AND JULIAN, and when I said I hadn't, he insisted that I watch it...NOW. I found it with ease online, and boy howdy...I haven't laughed so hard in ages. The syrupy, rosewatered love story at hand is a total nothingburger...lovestruck lonely boy meets man of his dreams, and they hit a few bumps in the road on their way to happily ever afterland. What makes this a particularly unquantifiable little outlier is the...*ahem*...original soundtrack. These simpering, kitschy little squirts of synth-in-a-can would seem better suited to a low-budget kiddie flick. The performers are lipsynching, but otherwise static...just sitting or standing in place, no random subito dance moves, no expository essay, no sweaty man-on-man dorsal corking...just guys in cutoffs sitting there singing, and a few laggard horizontal boppin' scenes that could narcotize a speed freak of the highest octane. It should be noted that there's a lengthy shower scene, possibly the most obvious and open-handed opportunity for a song...and there's no song. NOT EVEN ANY INCIDENTAL MUSIC. Good God, this might be the most embarrassing thing I've ever witnessed, and that quality alone makes it worth a watch. I seriously doubt you'll be touching yourself, aside from covering your ears and facepalming through this non-compos-mentis little bozo-eruption. Seriously...you never had it so good...
...until recently. A like-minded internet acquaintance asked me if I'd seen a gay porn/romantic musical called ROMEO AND JULIAN, and when I said I hadn't, he insisted that I watch it...NOW. I found it with ease online, and boy howdy...I haven't laughed so hard in ages. The syrupy, rosewatered love story at hand is a total nothingburger...lovestruck lonely boy meets man of his dreams, and they hit a few bumps in the road on their way to happily ever afterland. What makes this a particularly unquantifiable little outlier is the...*ahem*...original soundtrack. These simpering, kitschy little squirts of synth-in-a-can would seem better suited to a low-budget kiddie flick. The performers are lipsynching, but otherwise static...just sitting or standing in place, no random subito dance moves, no expository essay, no sweaty man-on-man dorsal corking...just guys in cutoffs sitting there singing, and a few laggard horizontal boppin' scenes that could narcotize a speed freak of the highest octane. It should be noted that there's a lengthy shower scene, possibly the most obvious and open-handed opportunity for a song...and there's no song. NOT EVEN ANY INCIDENTAL MUSIC. Good God, this might be the most embarrassing thing I've ever witnessed, and that quality alone makes it worth a watch. I seriously doubt you'll be touching yourself, aside from covering your ears and facepalming through this non-compos-mentis little bozo-eruption. Seriously...you never had it so good...
helpful•00
- EyeAskance
- Mar 7, 2024
Details
- Country of origin
- Language
- Production company
- See more company credits at IMDbPro
- Runtime1 hour 30 minutes
- Color
Contribute to this page
Suggest an edit or add missing content