- Addie Mills: What is heavier: a pound of gold or a pound of feathers?
- Cora Sue: A pound of gold, naturally.
- Addie Mills: Uh-uh, neither. A pound is a pound the world round, no matter what it consists of.
- Addie Mills: What word is pronounced wrong by the best scholars?
- Cora Sue: I give up.
- Addie Mills: W-R-O-N-G, wrong, dodo.
- Addie Mills: What did the mother turkey say to the baby turkey?
- Cora Sue: Uh, what?
- Addie Mills: Shame on you, you bad little turkey. If your father saw what you did, he'd roll over in his gravy.
- Addie Mills: What did one kangaroo say to the other? Isn't it terrible when the children have to play inside?
- Addie Mills: How many soft-boiled eggs could a giant eat on an empty stomach? Give up? One. After that his stomach would no longer be empty.