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Quotes

Minsc: Butt kicking for goodness.

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Jan: Anomen, my friend, I realise I've been less than polite with you in the past and I wish to apologize.

Anomen: Verily, you have played me most false.

Jan: Indeed! All know you're an unrepentant ass. 'Tis not my place to say so.

Anomen: Shut up, gnome.

Jan: Your ugliness, both in body and soul, thought true, is inappropriate for discussion and rankly impolite. You're stupid, poorly educated, and always smell faintly of lilacs, but it was wrong of me to bring attention to it.

Anomen: Silence before I CRACK YOUR SKULL!

Jan: Arrogant, drunken, priggish, whiny, pompous are common adjectives used to describe you, but I was wrong to say so. You are completely incapable of independent thought and soil yourself with regularity seldom found outside the nursery. I shall no longer bring these things up in front of the others.

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Lilarcor: What's my status? Since when do you care about me unless I'm impaled in something's guts? Oh well, fine, let me think for a minute... Well, as a matter of fact I would like to register a complaint. I want to kill a dragon. Right now. Go find one and kill it. That would be SO cool.

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Protagonist: Might you have any advice, o Sentient Sword?

Lilarcor: Advice, eh? Well, besides working a little on your swordsmanship. Besides that, I'd have to think. Hmmm... find someone rich, and kill them. Find someone richer, and kill them, too! Hack and slash you way to fortune! Woo-hoo!

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Aerie: I have a question for you, Imoen... you have the taint of Bhaal within you? Does this mean you will turn into the Slayer as well?

Imoen: I certainly hope not. I... I've been thinking more and more lately about that, myself, though.

Aerie: It must be an awful feeling. I cannot imagine how Protagonist deals with it.

Imoen: Yeah... s/he's been dealing with it longer, too. Sometimes, when it's quiet... I can hear the taint in my heart whispering to me. It says awful things and I almost want to scream to shut them out.

Aerie: [gasp!] You... you haven't done anything that it's said, have you?

Imoen: Well... other than that time I got up in the middle of the night to snatch a bag of cinnamon cookies, heck no.

Aerie: Oh, goo-... what? Cinnamon cookies?

Imoen: Ha ha! Oh, come on, Aerie! Lighten up, willya? I'll tell ya what, if I have any desires to murder you in the middle of the night, you'll be the first to know, okay?

Aerie: That's not very funny, Imoen. Protagonist never makes fun of his/her condition that way.

Protagonist: Well, it's been so much easier when I discovered all the Slayer really wants is a sandwich...

Aerie: Oh, fine. Everyone seems determined to make fun of me. I'll stand back here, thank you.

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Jan: Are you interested in purchasing a bit of merchandise, my friend?

Protagonist: Why not? What merchandise do you carry, good gnome?

Jan: Well, you've got the look of an adventurer about you. I've been one myself, betwixt stints as a turnip salesman that is. Occasionally the markets get down and the formerly self-respecting purveyors of fine veggies are forced to prostitute their abilities in the form of adventuring.

Protagonist: Yes, of course. Mobile vegetable peddling versus heroism, the eternal question.

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Jon Irenicus: I cannot be caged. I cannot be controlled. Understand this as you die, ever pathetic, ever fools!

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Shadow Thief: No! I don't want to die!

Jon Irenicus: Silence, dog. Your only purpose is to die by my hand.

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Minsc: I won't cry for the dead! I won't! Well, maybe a little... but I will staunch the tears with righteous fury!

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Keldorn: Imoen! What... are you pawing at me yet again? Do you think I do not notice? You are attempting to pickpocket me, aren't you?

Imoen: Well, no... I just...

Keldorn: Just what? Out with it girl. I won't have a party member stealing from me.

Imoen: No, no, that's not it! I... I was just... I was just trying to find out if you're as muscular under your armour as you look. Oh, I know that you're married and all that Keldorn... but do you have *any* idea how good you look? I... I can't help myself, I just what to touch you all the time!

Keldorn: Imoen! I... I have a daughter that is the same age as you!

Imoen: I don't know what it is Keldorn, maybe it's the Bhaal essence in me. I just want to run my fingers through your hair and nibble on your ears! Oh, Keldorn, you drive me so wild!

Keldorn: By Torm, no! This is terrible! I... I had no idea I had this effect on you...

Imoen: Oh get over yourself already, Keldorn! Sheesh.

[Imoen giggles]

Imoen: Here's your ring back. I won't take it again, I promise.

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Minsc: What? Boo is outraged! See his fury! It's small, so look close. Trust me, it's there.

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Minsc: Minsc will be free! These bonds will not hold my wrath! Butts will be liberally kicked in good measure!

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Minsc: I have lost myself in your words but Boo thinks you're just ducky.

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Minsc: This is silly! Buttons are not how one escapes dungeons! I would smash the button and rain beatings liberally down on the wizard for playing such a trick!

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Minsc: I would hate being forgotten in a bottle. It might depend somewhat on the type of bottle, but overall I expect the effect would be similar.

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Edwin: Well, it would seem the leader of our little group has impregnated the impressionable circus child. And here I thought she was merely getting chubby without the ring master's whip to keep her in shape.

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Lilarcor: You know, my last owner always said I was sharp and edgy. He was such an ass.

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Lilarcor: Y'know, once, I was like, a Moonblade.

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Lonk the Sane: My job? Taking care of crazies like you. Making sure you don't go and hurt yourselves with your deviant powers. And cookies, I make cookies.

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Viconia: Minsc, that tattoo on your face. Does it have tribal significance or did some nursery's fingerpainting class assault you with the blue pastels?

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Minsc: I do not like the tone of your voice, Dark Elf. The face I have is the face the ladies love! Boo loves Minsc's face, too! Don't you, Boo?

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Minsc: Magic is impressive but now Minsc leads. Swords for everyone!

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Imoen: Just like old times. Well, except for the torture and all.

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Dradeel: One has lots of time for reflection while waiting for the ENDLESS WAVES OF BAD DOGGIE WEREWOLF MONSTERS THAT CHEW YOUR TOES WHILE YOU SLEEP!

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Minsc: [before going berserk] Despair not! I shall inspire you by charging BLINDLY ON.

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Minsc: Boo will have clean wood shavings, you evil bastards!

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Minsc: You should have given a sword, give a man a fish and he feeds himself for a day, give a man a sword and he can chow down on the ,eaty marrow of evil!

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Minsc: Go for the eyes, Boo, go for the eyes!

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Lilarcor: What about now? Let's kill.

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Lilarcor: So, are we gonna kill something now?

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Lilarcor: I'm sharp, I can come up with something... OK... find someone who knows what you want to know and threaten to kill them! Yeah! Then kill them! Woo-hoo!

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Lilarcor: I know! Start swinging! Eventually you'll lop off the head of someone important and then the good fights will REALLY start!

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Lilarcor: Err... find that wizard guy. Yeah... find him and kill him. Kill kill kill kill KILL! Whoo-hoo!

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Lilarcor: My brother's a +12 Hackmaster!

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Lilarcor: You really need to clean me. I like to shine! Hahaha!

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Lilarcor: Hands up, kiddies, who wants to die?

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Lilarcor: Come get some! Boo-yah!

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Lilarcor: Kill it! Kill it quick before they're all gone!

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Lilarcor: Muhahahahahaha!

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Yoshimo: [after Edwin is transformed into a woman by the Nether Scroll] Tell me,Edwina, would you like me to let out the seams on your robe? I'm quite handy with a needle. You do, after all, have more... bulk... in the upper chest area.

Edwina: [Slavic woman voice] Silence,you fool! Chauvinist pig!

[mumbling]

Edwina: what am I saying?

[louder]

Edwina: I mean to say IDIOT!

Yoshimo: It was only an offer, m'lady. There is no cause for anger.

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Jon Irenicus: This woman had power, of a sort. She lost her parents to plague, her husband to war, but she persevered. She was well respected, her farm was prosperous and her children were well fed. And now she's dead.

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Jon Irenicus: Stand.

Jon Irenicus: You rest each night uneasy. Yes, you are weary. You struggle daily.

Jon Irenicus: It will not end, you know. Not until you acknowledge what you are.

Jon Irenicus: You walk as a mortal, taking no advantage from your heritage, from your talents within. So many things of flesh are greater than you.

Jon Irenicus: Walk among them, these beasts that are less than you are. See their strength; see how easily you fall to their muscle and skill.

[shows the protagonist being slain by an enemy]

Jon Irenicus: Why do you stand for this? Why do you submit to the flesh, when death is bred in your bones?

Jon Irenicus: Do you realize the power you might hold? When the world of flesh is beneath you, even creatures mysterious and magical will fall!

[shows the protagonist slaying multiple adversaries and laughing maniacally]

Jon Irenicus: Follow, and receive the gift you are owed by the blood in your veins.

Jon Irenicus: Follow, if only to protect the weak that fell because of you.

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Jan: Well, I suppose it's pretty safe to say that magic is most definitely involved here! No doubt about it. This reminds me of the time when Cousin Irony dabbled with a combination of illusions and wild magic. He never DID get his hair to stop opening portals to Baator. Well, not until the gryphon killed him, anyway.

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Jaheira: So, where to now, fearless leader?

Protagonist: Hmm, I don't rightly know. I'm taking suggestions.

Jaheira: I would suggest that you get moving and decide on a plan. And never again say something like "don't rightly know." You sound like you were dropped as a child. Or kicked.

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Protagonist: Ah, I see you still have that... rodent. Dare I ask how you have kept it hidden from our captors?

Minsc: Don't ask questions better left to aged sages. Boo is so quick and evasive and there is ever so much of Minsc to search, there is no hope of getting us apart!

Imoen: Eww, I... really don't want to think about that too much.

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Protagonist: Are you talking to a hamster? What kind of warrior are you?

Minsc: I am the best kind of warrior! I am large and carry nature's favour with me wherever I go!

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Minsc: Make way villainy! Hero coming through!

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Imoen: I will... see death come... so empty inside. I feel... I feel weak.

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Minsc: I trust those who prey on children no farther than they can be thrown, even if I manage to throw them pretty far!

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Anomen: There is an evil in my heart, I have always known this and I spoke of it to you. Hate and anger, twisted and black... and I... I cannot control it.

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Jaheira: Khalid! No... this... this is an illusion, a dream... a bad dream... Where are the mirrors... the switches to pull to... to show where he is hidden... Khalid...

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Jon Irenicus: You are born of murder, the very essence of that which takes life. You have power, if you wish it.

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Haer'Dalis: My... my head clears, filled with stars and liquid fire... and I see before me the new holders of my shackles? The wizard has released me, I see, only to pass my reins to another. So I'm to be your prize, am I? A mockingbird to sing your petty praises?

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Jaheira: Sometimes they don't come back! Sometimes some people, no matter how much you love them and no matter what you try to do, get... they get taken away. You're young, Aerie... You'll figure it out soon enough.

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Haer'Dalis: Your heart is heavy, my mourning dove? Your eyes wander, I think, into dark and solemn places that others cannot see. Have a care, fair Aerie, lest they draw you in forever.

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Lilarcor: I don't know what you were expecting, but as a sword I'm pretty one-dimensional in what I want.

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Demon: This path is to the core, the depths of your soul. Only through sacrifice can you achieve such insight. Do you give of yourself that you will know yourself? Do you let go of what you are, that you might see from a distance? Choose what you will sacrifice to know yourself, to walk within.

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Bhaal: You cannot run from yourself; you cannot defeat yourself! I am the blood! I am the instinct!

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Imoen: I lurk behind your soul, in the very fiber of your being. I am the only thing left when mind and reason are stripped away. I will show you what you can be, what you can do... if you simply let yourself become what you are. I can show you all of this, because I am within. I am what fills the void. I am you.

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Viconia: May darkness prevail.

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Viconia: He dropped to his knees to beg for mercy, which offered me height advantage as I smashed in his skull with a sledgehammer.

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Jon Irenicus: Your actions affect so many others than yourself. You will come to realize what little choice you have. You will do what you must, become what you must, or others will pay for your cowardice. You WILL accept the gifts offered to you.

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Jon Irenicus: Life... is strength. That is not to be contested; it seems logical enough. You live; you affect your world.

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Jon Irenicus: I wonder if you are destined to be forgotten. Will your life fade in the shadow of greater beings?

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Lilarcor: You know I am an intelligent sword, although I had no formal edumacation.

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Lilarcor: Choke up, dolt, your grip is all wrong!

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Lilarcor: *sigh*

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Lilarcor: *double sigh*

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Minsc: The stronger they are, the harder I hit!

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Minsc: Don't teach my hamster to suck eggs!

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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