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Saving Ryan's Privates (1998)

| Comedy, War, Short
Parody of Saving Private Ryan about war heroes who must save their buddy's penis.




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Follows Andy, who needs to hook up with a hottie, pronto, because he hasn't had sex in... well, forever - and his luck isn't the only thing that's hard. His equally horny teenage roommates ... See full summary »

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Cast overview:
Capt. Miller
Jason Squire ...
Pvt. Ryan
Brent Goldberg ...
Pvt. Mellish
David Wagner ...
Medic Wade
Pvt. Reiben
Joey Valentino ...
Cpl. Upham
Josh Massie ...
Sgt, Horvath (as Josh Massey)
David Protocarrero ...
Pvt. Carpazo
David Boscoe ...
Pvt. Jackson


During World War II, somewhere in France, Private James Ryan has lost his genitalia in battle--they're missing in action and, that day, his wife Lisa is due to receive three telegrams. An officer sends a platoon, and the platoon leader tells his men, "If that boy and his penis are alive, we're going to find them." When they do find Ryan, he's doesn't want to leave his fellow soldiers, but the platoon leader explains the mission firmly. Private Ryan relents, they shoot their way out, and there's a casualty. Jump ahead 50 years: a grey-haired man kneels at a gravestone as a young man waits beside him. Did someone die in vain, or did Ryan put it to good use? Written by <jhailey@hotmail.com>

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis


Comedy | War | Short





Also Known As:

Saving Ryan  »


Box Office


$6,500 (estimated)
See more on IMDbPro »

Company Credits

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Technical Specs



Aspect Ratio:

1.85 : 1
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Did You Know?


Referenced in Comic Relief Does University Challenge (2005) See more »

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User Reviews

One of the best (and shortest) parodies ever made.
28 October 2000 | by See all my reviews

Craig Moss's "Saving Ryan's Privates" is nothing short of a phenomenon. Finally, a film that doesn't give viewers the shaft. In all seriousness, folks, "Saving Private Ryan" had it coming. It's an awesome movie, but there was just a bit too much seriousness in it, I guess, so this parody is completely deserved. As far as a plot, it's about the same as "Saving Private Ryan," except this time they're not just searching for a soldier; they're looking for his genetalia too. If you do not find phallus-based humor funny, then avoid this at all costs. If you enjoy this kind of stuff, than watch this hilarious masterpiece first chance you get.

I give it 10 out of 10.

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