My collection of "Dollar Store DVDs" continues to grow, the latest addition being 1998's "DIAMONDBACKS," a Z-grade "action" movie that starts out like a low-grade ripoff of "THE ROCK" but turns out more like a bad episode of "The A-Team." Our story (such as it is) begins with a space shuttle launch (courtesy of NASA stock footage), which is watched on television by an assortment of rednecks who don't look happy about it at all. One by one these rednecks leave their double-wides and congregate in a tavern's pool room (!!) where they change into matching black uniforms and start loading weapons. Turns out these good ole boys are THE DIAMONDBACK MILITIA (Tremble! tremble! Fear! Fear!), and they don't like the fact that this space shuttle's mission is to launch a "communications" satellite because they believe it will be used to spy the activities of red blooded patriotic Americans like themselves. The Diamondbacks then use their constitutionally protected right to bear arms to blow up a small town courthouse for no apparent reason, (??) and then they invade the tracking station that controls the shuttle's satellite cargo in order to force the technicians inside to... well, I'm not really sure, exactly. Either blow the shuttle up, or take over the satellite and crash it, whatever, it's never made very clear WHAT the hell they plan to do. The story unfolds at a snail's pace from there, and for a supposed action movie there's very little action. We get two of the slowest car chases I've ever seen, several bloodless shootouts and some supposed "plot twists" that anybody will be able to see coming from a mile away. Miles O'Keefe, as the head of the Diamondback Militia, looks like Corey Feldman on steroids and seems to be trying to channel Ed Harris' character from "The Rock" with his high and mighty patriotic speeches ("This is OUR war!") while Bryce, played by Eb Lottimer(what kind of name is "Eb" anyway?) plays the poor computer tech who just wants to survive this experience so he can make it home in time for his daughter's birthday. In short, DIAMONDBACKS is generic action junk that will either bore you to tears or put you to sleep. I recommend that if you see it on the rack in YOUR local dollar store, save your money. Even for a dollar, DIAMONDBACKS was a ripoff.
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