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The most spectacular Easter celebration in the World. Hosts of hooded Penitents parade through the ancient, narrow streets of the Old Town in time-honored ritual. But for one celebrant this Holy Week is different. For him Semana Santa is a time to kill. As the death toll mounts, it falls to detective Maria Delgado - mistrusted outsider from Madrid - to stop the bizarre killings. Written by
Paul Berrow <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Semana Santa is jaw-droppingly bad. It's so wrong in so many ways I don't
where to begin.
So, let's see...Mira Sorvino, whose judge husband has been shot while
protecting her, goes from Madrid to Seville for her cop job. During the
week (Semana santa, see?...everybody begins to fall sleep..told u it was
in so many points, even from the beginning), a killer executes his victims
like bulls in a bullfighting arena. She teams up with male chauvinist pig
Olivier Martinez and nice Feodor Atkine. Soon she discovers she'll be the
next target of the killer (who wears a red robe). Why, oh but
Why..;that's the questionthat has been in my head the whole movie.
Q :Why did go to see that
A : Because i love Mira Sorvino (i even excuse her for that AT FIRST SIGHT
Q : Why were we only 8 people in the theater this saturday on the first
end of release?
A : ah-ah-ah. Spider-man got relaesed the same day. But also the fact that
the movie has been blast with execrable reviews.
Q : Why this movie has been made?
A : Money I guess. But boy did Mira need the money.
then...why???????????? first of all, there's always something wrong with
european co-productions. here you got a
Then it wants to play on the same playgroung as US
Even VALENTINE, though unnecessary and badly scripted and shot, was much
better in the suspense and the fun.
Then , to give some credit to the story, the screenwriter wanted to add
political sight to the story. Wrong : done in flash-backs in a
photography, it's certainly the most interesting thing i n the movie.
have stick to it, it wouldn't have to sit through the whole movie. Better
straight to Guillermo del Tros's THE DEVIL'S BACKBONE (El espinazo del
diablo)for some clever fun.
Then the homophobia. Bullseye! The first victims are S&M drug addicted gay
twins who got stabbed to death. The annoying olivier Martinez goes to a
dating agency held by a badly shaved overweight transvestive with a blond
platinum wig. Calls mira Sorvino's character a big dyke all the time. Do
need this kind of stuff? Nah. Just needless offensive remarks, just like
Then the suspense. Yipee. No apparent motive. The first murders are plain
illusion as they're a representation of a famous painting. But no. And the
revelation of the killer (a horrible fascist, of course) could have been
done from the beginning as he appears at the end of the movie as, I guess,
it was time for the director to say "weel, time to finish that damn movie.
let's reveal right now who the killer is and why he kills".
Then the director thinks he's a director. Wrong : no sense of suspense, no
sense of directing the actors, no knowledge of change of pace. A Giant,
mega-bore. The scenes of the holy week are needless (maybe a co-production
rule saying : ok, shoot in Sevilla but show some creditsof this beautiful
and historical town with the celebrations of Easter. There we are : a
mystery movie for tourists!)
Then the actors. All wrongs. Mira Sorvino bores herself to death : she
practicly nothing except getting stabbed in the right hand. Everything she
did best (the Replacement Killers, Mighty Aphrodite...) were like they
existed. Olivier Martinez...hello, anybody here? When the producers will
learn that he's not an actor but a mannequin with no ability of speech nor
feelings? Feodor Atkine, bland and transparent. Only do we pay great
to Alida Valli, one of the greatest actress this last century (and I hope
for some more roles in this current one). She's tha main attraction here
she's the only one to give life to her poor lines. I won't mention the
actors as they're only one-sided characters, uninteresting and