Jason X (2001)
[programmed to trick Uber-Jason]
VR teen girl #1: Hey, do you want a beer?
VR teen girl #2: Or do you wanna smoke some pot?
VR teen girl #1: Or we can have premarital sex?
[both remove their tops]
Brodski: It's gonna take more than a poke in the ribs to put down this old dog.
[Jason stabs him through the chest again]
Brodski: Yeah, that oughta do it.
[talking about Jason's brain size]
Tsunaron: How does he function with a brain that small?
Janessa: Way manages.
Waylander: That's very funny.
Fat Lou: Kids and their goddamn field trips. Let's bring the psycho on board. Yeah, sure. I just know I'm gonna get blamed for this shit.
Crutch: Hey, you're lucky you weren't alive during the Microsoft conflict. Hell, we were beating each other with our own severed limbs.
Azrael: Aw, shit. I forgot my arm.
Janessa: [hands him his arm] Yeah, here you go, dumbass.
Azrael: Hi, hand.
Sven: What do we do with this guy?
Brodski: I promised the professor that we take this guy alive. After you blow him all to hell, put one in his leg so we can tell the professor we tried.
Rowan: What are you doing here?
Dr. Wimmer: I'm taking the specimen.
Rowan: Well, you can't. I haven't prepped the cryostasis chamber.
Dr. Wimmer: I don't want him frozen, Rowan. I want him soft.
Rowan: We've already discussed this.
Dr. Wimmer: Yeah. Well, I had to go over your head. I'm moving him to our Scranton facility.
Rowan: Dr. Wimmer, you can't risk transporting him through open country.
Dr. Wimmer: This isn't open for discussion. His unique ability to regenerate lost and damaged tissue... I mean, it's just cries out for more research.
Rowan: And you'll risk the deaths of innocent civilians if he escapes?
Dr. Wimmer: Yes. But I'm sure Sergeant Marcus and his men can handle the transfer just fine. Sergeant?
Sgt. Marcus: Everything is under control, ma'am.
Rowan: Dr. Wimmer, please.
Dr. Wimmer: Rowan, he's no longer your problem.
Janessa: Why don't you just admit it? You want me.
Tsunaron: I couldn't be with a girl whose balls are bigger than mine.
[Rowan slaps the Professor hard as she awakes from cryo-suspension]
Kay-Em 14: Vital signs are normal and strong.
Professor Lowe: No shit.
Rowan: I don't think he's out there...
Janessa: Why don't you just stick your head out and have a peek?
[Jason approaches Professor Lowe and reaches out for a machete sitting next to him]
Professor Lowe: [scared] Oh, you want your machete!
[laughs it off]
Professor Lowe: Shit, it's yours! Take it! Just remember who got it back for ya...
[Jason stares at him]
Professor Lowe: [calling out] Guys, it's okay! He just wanted his machete back!
Rowan: What do you mean, "whoops"?
Rowan: Not nothing. You just don't say "Oops." What "oops"?
Tsunaron: I think he saw me.
Pvt. Johnson: [to Jason] Why don't you stare at this for a while, you ugly bastard?
[covers Jason with a rag]
Professor Lowe: Can someone tell me what's on his face?
Janessa: Ahh... some kind of 20th century carbon filtration unit?
Tsunaron: It's a hockey mask.
[Jason slices an alien in half in an alien simulation]
Azrael: What the hell?
Dallas: I thought this was an alien sim.
Azrael: Yeah, it is. Pause play.
[Jason moves towards them]
Azrael: I said, "pause play."
Dallas: He's not pausing.
Azrael: Yeah, I know that.
[Jason stops in front of them]
Azrael: I think we need to re-boot.
[Jason slashes Azrael's torso from his collarbone to his abdomen]
Azrael: That does not count as a kill.
Dallas: [laughing] Yes, it does.
[Jason then decapitates Dallas, his head roles to the floor]
Dallas: Okay, screw this. Game over.
Adrienne: [she takes off Jason's mask] Ah poor baby, no wonder you wore this thing.
[Rowan meets Kay-Em 14, the crew's technodroid]
Rowan: Oh, my God. She looks so real.
Kay-Em 14: I AM real.
Kinsa: He's here!
Kinsa: But if he's here he'll kill us.
Rowan: [covers Kinsa's mouth] Be quiet! One more sound and I'll snap your neck myself. Got it?
Janessa: She's good with people.
Crutch: Lou, I swear, you mess with an engineer, you'll end up with a waste hose in your bunk.
Dieter Perez: The other viable is marked Voorhees. That's not Jason Voorhees, is it?
Professor Lowe: What do you know about him?
Dieter Perez: Jason Voorhees. He killed nearly 200 people and simply disappeared without a trace. Under the right buyer, he could be worth a fortune.
Professor Lowe: We've got him frozen right here on the ship.
Dieter Perez: You worked up a list of ownership?
Professor Lowe: No list. He's my find. He's... he's mine.
Dieter Perez: What about your students?
Professor Lowe: They're students; the educational experience will be enough.
Rowan: [sees Waylander with Jason's machete] Oh, whoa. Where did you get that?
Waylander: Uh, from your friend. The big guy with the hockey mask.
Rowan: You brought him onboard?
Professor Lowe: He's in the next lab. We're quite safe.
Professor Lowe: Our scans reveal him to be very dead.
Rowan: Could your scans be wrong? I think you just get rid of him, Professor. He's too dangerous.
Professor Lowe: Well, that would be irresponsible and foolhardy. He's a valuable scientific artifact that must be carefully preserved. Much like yourself.
Rowan: He is an unstoppable killing machine. He's not dead.
Professor Lowe: Believe me. He's definitely dead.
Rowan: Show me.
Brodski: How long has she been dead?
Kay-Em 14: 4.55 Centuries.
Brodski: That's one hell of a wake-up call.
Kay-Em 14: [to Jason] Afraid I'm gonna have to hurt you now.
[Kay-Em 14's head has been separated from her body]
Kay-Em 14: I'd clap if I could.
Tsunaron: What do you think? Are we going to make it?
Kay-Em 14: The statistical probability of survival is twelve per cent.
Tsunaron: Twelve per cent? Can You come up with better odds?
Kay-Em 14: Nope.
Tsunaron: Bullshit, Kay-Em! That's Bullshit!.
Tsunaron: Are you telling there's absolutely no chance for us to better our odds?
[Tsunaron and Kay-Em kiss]
Kay-Em 14: Statistical probability of survival just went up to fifty-three per cent.
Tsunaron: You want to go for a hundred?
Rowan: How do we get off this ship?
Waylander: I don't know.
Rowan: Could you beam us off or something?
Waylander: "Beam us off"?
Tsunaron: [Jason is just about to attack the others] Hey Slappy.
[Jason turns around]
Tsunaron: Got a little something for you.
[Kay-Em comes out armed to the teeth]
[Jason's frozen body falls and chops off Azrael's arm]
Kay-Em 14: [injects Azrael] 55 cc's of ethrine. You'll be fine.
Azrael: Fine? I'm missing my arm!
[Kay-Em slips a bandage on the nub of his arm, drug hits him]
Azrael: You're so pretty.
Campfire Teen #1: Look at that.
Campfire Teen #2: A shooting star. Make a wish.
Campfire Teen #1: It landed in the lake.
Campfire Teen #2: Let's go check it out.