Python is a film that is very reminiscent of those classic *B* horror films of the 1950's. It's a film that you know from the start won't win any awards for acting, directing or writing, but you find yourself unable to turn it off. You can't blame anyone but yourself for watching this film for the simple fact, you knew what to expect before you even began watching it. The star of the film is a HUGE python, genetically engineered to be almost indestructible, the characters are never fully developed, but overall, the film is fun to watch and if you can call this film a guilty pleasure, then no need to hang your head in shame, I found it hard to turn away, too!
91 Reviews
Pure Trash
claudio_carvalho28 November 2004
An airplane carrying a huge snake crashes in a forest nearby Ruby town, where two lesbian lovers are camping. The python eats both women and leaves their remains destroyed by its acid. The animal moves to the town, threatening the population and leaving the local sheriff and his team astonished. Meanwhile, Dr. Anton Rudolph (Robert Englund), who was developing a weapon based on the acid of the python, discloses to agent Bart Parker (Casper Van Dien) how powerful the reptile is.
"Python" is a terrible movie, indeed pure trash: the story is very silly, with many flaws and the dialogs are ridiculous. However, there are reasonable special effects and somehow the movie becomes funny and entertains. The name of Robert Englund is the greatest attraction of this flick. If the viewer liked "Anaconda", he or she will certainly enjoy "Python". My vote is four.
Title (Brazil): "Python"
Note: On 25 June 2023. I saw this film again.
"Python" is a terrible movie, indeed pure trash: the story is very silly, with many flaws and the dialogs are ridiculous. However, there are reasonable special effects and somehow the movie becomes funny and entertains. The name of Robert Englund is the greatest attraction of this flick. If the viewer liked "Anaconda", he or she will certainly enjoy "Python". My vote is four.
Title (Brazil): "Python"
Note: On 25 June 2023. I saw this film again.
Python
Scarecrow-883 July 2007
Warning: Spoilers
The town of Ruby and it's surrounding country-side are terrorized by a giant python created by the typical secret government organization called Biogene which was released after a plane carrying it crash-lands. Dr. Anton Rudolph(Robert Englund, who gets all the theatrical dialogue), who had a part in creating this massive reptile through variations of serpents, informs Agent-in-charge Bart Parker(Casper Van Dien, far removed from "Starship Troopers" or "Sleepy Hollow")that it's practically unkillable and very fast with a nasty venomous acid-spit you wouldn't believe. Pro-biker John(Frayne Rosanoff)and deputy Greg(William Zabka, known for playing blonde haired bullying punks in the 80's such as in "Karate Kid" & "Back to School")who have angst over a chick named Kristin(Dana Barron, one of many variations of Griswald daughter Audrey in "National Lampoon's Vacation")must join forces to stop the python.
Could easily play on Sci-fi channel with it's low quality computer effects of the monstrous python. The python really is never convincing which makes the film play rather cheesy instead at all scary. The flick benefits from a cast of recognizable faces. Star Trek The Next Generation's Wil Wheaton plays a real-estate agent wannabe sporting a pink hair-do, Jenny McCarthy stops by to play a wealthy widow sexpot, Sean Whalen is a Barney Fife deputy, and Gary Grubbs(my favorite of the cast who I enjoyed every moment he was on-screen)as Sheriff Griffin Wade.
Could easily play on Sci-fi channel with it's low quality computer effects of the monstrous python. The python really is never convincing which makes the film play rather cheesy instead at all scary. The flick benefits from a cast of recognizable faces. Star Trek The Next Generation's Wil Wheaton plays a real-estate agent wannabe sporting a pink hair-do, Jenny McCarthy stops by to play a wealthy widow sexpot, Sean Whalen is a Barney Fife deputy, and Gary Grubbs(my favorite of the cast who I enjoyed every moment he was on-screen)as Sheriff Griffin Wade.
A New Definition In Dumb
Bayjohn21 June 2002
If you are looking for a good Sci-Fi or Horror film, this is not the movie to see. If you are looking for a stupid, low-budget film to mock (like MST3K fans), then this is your movie.
The low budget is very evident in the scenery, or lack thereof. The acting is atrocious, and that is surprising considering the talent involved in this project. Casper Van Diem is horribly miscast as a southern business executive that works in Washington state. Casper's accent is beyond fake and his lines are delivered way over the top! Robert Englund must have needed the money...enough said.
The effects are pretty good, considering the budget. The computer generated effects seem to be top notch, but the snake moves too fast to be believable. The fx guys do use a prop snake tail in some scenes and it is very noticable in every scene it is used.
Granted, the director did use tongue-in-cheek humor in a self-mockingly way throughout this film. However, the viewer will have the impression that the director wasn't entirely sure he was making a comedy or a horror movie after seeing this film.
If a cheesy film is what you're in the mood for tonight, see this movie. Otherwise, stay clear.
The low budget is very evident in the scenery, or lack thereof. The acting is atrocious, and that is surprising considering the talent involved in this project. Casper Van Diem is horribly miscast as a southern business executive that works in Washington state. Casper's accent is beyond fake and his lines are delivered way over the top! Robert Englund must have needed the money...enough said.
The effects are pretty good, considering the budget. The computer generated effects seem to be top notch, but the snake moves too fast to be believable. The fx guys do use a prop snake tail in some scenes and it is very noticable in every scene it is used.
Granted, the director did use tongue-in-cheek humor in a self-mockingly way throughout this film. However, the viewer will have the impression that the director wasn't entirely sure he was making a comedy or a horror movie after seeing this film.
If a cheesy film is what you're in the mood for tonight, see this movie. Otherwise, stay clear.
Hmm....
navysealcdr9 November 2002
*SPOLIERS* Okay I saw this at the video store, and chuckled at it.
I read it and chuckled again. Horror? This is not a horror movie. This a comedy! It's so bad in some parts that its funny! Don't get me wrong, this movie wasn't HORRIBLE. It wasn't a very good horror movie though. Some things that are disappointing: The snake looks so fake. You can tell it's computer. The snake at the start seems to have trouble w/ the wooden wall, but breaks down walls and a steel door in one hit elsewhere The snake on Robert Englund's finger reamins stiff throughout and looks fake. Good things: Jenny McCarthy (The funniest sequence in the movie! That song!) Robert Englund Casper VanDiem (however the hell you spell it) Lesbian Sex
Other things about the movie: The movie wasn't scary. But it was funny as Hell! Like the ending! "I killed a giant python, and all I got was this lousey t-shirt" Again, not a good horror film but excellent comedy! Horror rating: 3/10 Comedy rating: 8/10 Overall, good movie to watch if your in for a good laugh at pathetic filmmaking.
I read it and chuckled again. Horror? This is not a horror movie. This a comedy! It's so bad in some parts that its funny! Don't get me wrong, this movie wasn't HORRIBLE. It wasn't a very good horror movie though. Some things that are disappointing: The snake looks so fake. You can tell it's computer. The snake at the start seems to have trouble w/ the wooden wall, but breaks down walls and a steel door in one hit elsewhere The snake on Robert Englund's finger reamins stiff throughout and looks fake. Good things: Jenny McCarthy (The funniest sequence in the movie! That song!) Robert Englund Casper VanDiem (however the hell you spell it) Lesbian Sex
Other things about the movie: The movie wasn't scary. But it was funny as Hell! Like the ending! "I killed a giant python, and all I got was this lousey t-shirt" Again, not a good horror film but excellent comedy! Horror rating: 3/10 Comedy rating: 8/10 Overall, good movie to watch if your in for a good laugh at pathetic filmmaking.
No gore, no good acting, no suspense, no surprises Python
experten25 March 2001
There are good animal-horror movies like the first class movie Jaws. There are other animal-horror movies that are not first class but still entertaining enough, like They Nest, Slugs and Anaconda.
But most of the animal-horror movies are bad and Python is one of the worst.
Some movies have a predictable plot, but can still be exciting, because they are well made and make you nervous as you wait for something expected but terrible to happen. Python is certainly predictable, but it is not well made and it never gets exciting. The only entertainment you can get is to marvel over how bad it is.
The snake itself doesn't look bad, but it doesn't look like it fits into the movie. It looks computer generated and it is so big that it is laughable.
There are no gore scenes to compensate for lousy and exaggerated acting. Van Dien has never showed good acting but here he is so bad that it is obvious that he got instructions from a director without talent.
Some of the roles seem to be created for comical relief (the stupid cop and the unbelievable woman that is buying a house) but they are not funny, only irritating, unconvincing and exaggerated.
The plot is not only predictable, it´s also full of logical errors such as: Why would the government leave explosives in an abandoned laboratory? If the snake is so big and powerful, why keep it in a box of wood? If the snake can move with the laughable speed of 50 mph and you can see that it moves fast (although not that fast), why is it so slow when it is chasing people that it seems to take forever for it to catch up? If you are chased by a gigantic snake would you stop to check out what looks like a small house? If you went in would you forget to close the door? Of course it just happens to be a special house. How can the snake hear things? Did the obligatory mad scientist provide it with ears? I am prepared to oversee some mistakes in a movie, but there are no good scenes in Python that make it worth to see. My rating of this movie is 1, awful.
But most of the animal-horror movies are bad and Python is one of the worst.
Some movies have a predictable plot, but can still be exciting, because they are well made and make you nervous as you wait for something expected but terrible to happen. Python is certainly predictable, but it is not well made and it never gets exciting. The only entertainment you can get is to marvel over how bad it is.
The snake itself doesn't look bad, but it doesn't look like it fits into the movie. It looks computer generated and it is so big that it is laughable.
There are no gore scenes to compensate for lousy and exaggerated acting. Van Dien has never showed good acting but here he is so bad that it is obvious that he got instructions from a director without talent.
Some of the roles seem to be created for comical relief (the stupid cop and the unbelievable woman that is buying a house) but they are not funny, only irritating, unconvincing and exaggerated.
The plot is not only predictable, it´s also full of logical errors such as: Why would the government leave explosives in an abandoned laboratory? If the snake is so big and powerful, why keep it in a box of wood? If the snake can move with the laughable speed of 50 mph and you can see that it moves fast (although not that fast), why is it so slow when it is chasing people that it seems to take forever for it to catch up? If you are chased by a gigantic snake would you stop to check out what looks like a small house? If you went in would you forget to close the door? Of course it just happens to be a special house. How can the snake hear things? Did the obligatory mad scientist provide it with ears? I am prepared to oversee some mistakes in a movie, but there are no good scenes in Python that make it worth to see. My rating of this movie is 1, awful.
Hmmm ...
jivotnayeh2 October 2000
This was a real 'snake' of a movie! It was pretty cheesy, not the kind of film I usually watch, but, surprisingly, I sat through it. I thought Chris Owens played his part well, though his talent was really wasted in this particular film. The effects were pretty good, about the only good thing about the movie ... and Chris ... he rocked! :)
Absolute Garbage!
chanvat29 July 2003
Warning: Spoilers
Spoiler!! First off, I made the mistake of getting this film because Robert Englund was one of the headliners in it, that and the DVD was only $3.95 (worst $3.95 I ever spent in my life by the way). To be honest though, if you want to see Robert Englund act in something where he is not Freddy Krueger, I would recommend watching that episode of Jamie Foxx where he is an art thief, as that is much better than this pile of crap.
Ok, for starters the snake itself looks extremely fake. The CGI job that was done on this was very subpar at best. There is little to no gore in this "horror" film either, except for skeletons with burned away flesh, a special effect they could have done for about $29.95. Additionally, there isnt much nudity either, except one pair of naked breasts in the beginning, big whoop.
Secondly, the plot absolutely sucks. There is so much backstory that means absolutely nothing to the movie itself. I thought this film was about a huge snake that was biomedically engineered to be a killing machine. Instead, for about half of the film they focus on 2 guys and 2 girls and their relationships, as well as the cop that had his girl stolen from by the other guy. They develop that way too much for this film, as this isnt a romantic story, but a horror film people!
Thirdly, there is no consistency to the film at all. In the beginning, the snake shoots acidic venom at people to melt their skin away and kill them, but by the end of the film the snake seems to forget how to do that, which makes it much easier for the heros to kill it, and I thought this snake was supposed to be engineered to be smart too? Give me a break. Oh that and a dozen military special OPs can't kill it, but 4 or 5 wusses can kill it without any military training whatsoever. It amazes me that they can use bombs with such ease without the training for it.
Fourthly and most importantly, the acting is horrible. I think they must have been going for a comedy for this film, because each person's acting makes you laugh its so cheesy. The relationships arent believable, their fear isnt believable, and certainly that fight sequence that two of the main characters do looked very fake and non-dangerous. I have been in worse scraps in middle school than the fight they show in this movie.
The only bright spot I have to say for the film though is the one sheriff's deputy that was extremely funny. He must have been a tribute to Andy Griffith Show's Barney Fife, because he actually looked like him and acted like him. But alas, the snake kills him. Once he was killed I knew all the entertainment value for this film was lost (as if it had much to start with). I did get a laugh out of the lesbian sequence in the beginning of the film, and some of the jokes about the bisexual girl Lisa (who was in the beginning sequence), but that was about it for entertainment.
If you have never cheered for the villain or monster in horror films before, you will now. Trust me, if you ever watch this film you will cheer for the snake to kill them all and mercifully end this thing early, and not in 100 mins either!
Ok, for starters the snake itself looks extremely fake. The CGI job that was done on this was very subpar at best. There is little to no gore in this "horror" film either, except for skeletons with burned away flesh, a special effect they could have done for about $29.95. Additionally, there isnt much nudity either, except one pair of naked breasts in the beginning, big whoop.
Secondly, the plot absolutely sucks. There is so much backstory that means absolutely nothing to the movie itself. I thought this film was about a huge snake that was biomedically engineered to be a killing machine. Instead, for about half of the film they focus on 2 guys and 2 girls and their relationships, as well as the cop that had his girl stolen from by the other guy. They develop that way too much for this film, as this isnt a romantic story, but a horror film people!
Thirdly, there is no consistency to the film at all. In the beginning, the snake shoots acidic venom at people to melt their skin away and kill them, but by the end of the film the snake seems to forget how to do that, which makes it much easier for the heros to kill it, and I thought this snake was supposed to be engineered to be smart too? Give me a break. Oh that and a dozen military special OPs can't kill it, but 4 or 5 wusses can kill it without any military training whatsoever. It amazes me that they can use bombs with such ease without the training for it.
Fourthly and most importantly, the acting is horrible. I think they must have been going for a comedy for this film, because each person's acting makes you laugh its so cheesy. The relationships arent believable, their fear isnt believable, and certainly that fight sequence that two of the main characters do looked very fake and non-dangerous. I have been in worse scraps in middle school than the fight they show in this movie.
The only bright spot I have to say for the film though is the one sheriff's deputy that was extremely funny. He must have been a tribute to Andy Griffith Show's Barney Fife, because he actually looked like him and acted like him. But alas, the snake kills him. Once he was killed I knew all the entertainment value for this film was lost (as if it had much to start with). I did get a laugh out of the lesbian sequence in the beginning of the film, and some of the jokes about the bisexual girl Lisa (who was in the beginning sequence), but that was about it for entertainment.
If you have never cheered for the villain or monster in horror films before, you will now. Trust me, if you ever watch this film you will cheer for the snake to kill them all and mercifully end this thing early, and not in 100 mins either!
Dumb and incredibly cheesy
Coventry12 June 2005
I wonder on which planet the makers were staying around the time "Anaconda" flopped... That movie clearly proved like no other that it's a bad idea to make a horror film about a giant terrorizing snake, but at least it had a fairly interesting cast and a neat jungle-setting. "Python"...has absolutely nothing going for it. The premise once again handles about a twisted doctor who saw a potentially great military weapon in the hunting & defense mechanisms of this snake-species, so he created an exaggeratedly large and ferocious mutant specimen. The 'animal' naturally escapes during transport and our doctor allows it to devour an entire remote community, rather than to destroy his unique discovery. "Python" is a rapidly paced and weakly scripted attempt to cash in on the popular revival of the creature-features, but even the least demanding horror fans will consider it a waste of time. The giant snake looks incredibly ridiculous and the make-up effects couldn't be cheesier. The typical hillbillies-gags aren't funny and the forced happy-ending really looks pathetic. The cast is stuffed with have-been B-actors, like Casper Van Dien (here's a guy who should really consider a career change), Robert Englund, Sean Whalen and Will Wheaton. There also is a cameo for Jenny McCarthy as a sex-hungry rich girl...Now that must have been a difficult casting choice. Avoid watching"Python" at all costs, unless you're planning to get really drunk first.
Amazingly Below Average
DanTheMan1617 November 2002
Although not as bad as Beneath Loch Ness, this one should not be near the top of anybody's favorite list. The lack of quality acting in scenes containing Casper Van Dien was painfully obvious, and his accent was even worse! What was that!? Seven of my friends and I tried to figure it out, and we came up with 13 different possible accents of origin. Enough about that, can anybody explain how that monsterous snake was able to hide in a small enclosed area at one point in the movie? The laws of physics were completely thrown out the window for that scene. Speaking of throwing things out of windows, that is what I suggest you do if for some reason you own this movie. Find a tall building, go to the top floor and throw it out faster than the makers of Python did to the rules on how to make a worthwhile film.
The incredible bath towel!
lastliberal18 July 2007
What could be the greatest feature of this movie? Could it be the creepy performance of Robert Englund (soon to be seen in Zombie Strippers)? He is always enjoyable.
Could be be the wacky performance of Jenny McCarthy (soon to be seen in Wieners)? She just can't seem to keep her head on straight.
Could it be the interruption of a lesbian camping trip by something long and mysterious? No, the best feature of this movie was the towel that Theresa (Sara Mornell) somehow got and wrapped around her after the Python did a Psycho and interrupted her shower. When baby shampoo and a rubber ducky didn't stop the snake, which no one else seemed to be able to escape. She manges to grab a towel and get it wrapped around her while the monster was attacking, get by the snake, run through the basement and the house, get in a car, drive speeding down the road with the snake on her tail, crash the car and run into the rocks - and she never lost that towel!
Other than that, it was pretty lame and predictable.
Could be be the wacky performance of Jenny McCarthy (soon to be seen in Wieners)? She just can't seem to keep her head on straight.
Could it be the interruption of a lesbian camping trip by something long and mysterious? No, the best feature of this movie was the towel that Theresa (Sara Mornell) somehow got and wrapped around her after the Python did a Psycho and interrupted her shower. When baby shampoo and a rubber ducky didn't stop the snake, which no one else seemed to be able to escape. She manges to grab a towel and get it wrapped around her while the monster was attacking, get by the snake, run through the basement and the house, get in a car, drive speeding down the road with the snake on her tail, crash the car and run into the rocks - and she never lost that towel!
Other than that, it was pretty lame and predictable.
TO:JOHN FRANKLIN AND ROBERT ENGLAND
FINKHONEY8 April 2001
PYTHON is one of the best horror movie that I liked the best this year. the movie starts off slow,and then it gets good.The movie it self is a very scary.It kept me in my seat.I think it has a good story line. And the snake is one bad momma.As for John Franklin,he had a very small part in the movie. I think he could have had more parts in the movie. i feel that Robert England had a very small part in the movie to,he also should have had more parts in it to.Over all the movie was very good.Hope to see John Franklin,and Robert England in better horror movies.For actors they take what they can get,but i don't think that's right. Great job:John Franklin Great job:Robert England from:Diane M. Fink
Fun Flick
lcri-125 August 2006
Warning: Spoilers
Python certainly isn't art, and it's not gonna win any awards. However, it IS a fun little movie for a night with some soda (or, if you're old enough, beer) and popcorn. The snake changes size many times, (at one point it hides in a garage behind some boxes, but he is then suddenly 15X the length of a car.)and even the marketing is messed up-the cover says it's "sixty feet of pure terror", but the scientist in the movie says it's 128 feet long. The acting isn't the greatest and the CGI is terrible (the snake's "acid" looks like expired Jell-O), but the movie is a good one to watch and let your brain go on autopilot. For B-Movie fans, or people who thought Anaconda didn't have enough stupid jokes, this one is an absolute must-see.
Left in awe.......
wbbebout28 February 2021
Of how horribly bad this movie was. I gave it a three because it seriously made me laugh. The CGI was terrible. I was left thinking maybe this was a spoof because of the well known actors involved. There is no way anyone would want to be involved with this unless they were desperate, broke or it was a spoof! If you want a good time and a laugh then watch this. If you are looking for more serious animal horror, go elsewhere.
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Brandy-2830 September 2001
I don't think I have ever seen a more stupid movie in all my life. Now I have to admit - I always - ALWAYS - go into a movie or video with my head and eyes open to everything. I don't look at the lighting or listen to the script or look for any kind a flaw in the making of any picture. But sometimes you just want to kill certain characters in this movie. Didn't you. I COULD NOT STAND THAT DEPUTY that kept on pointing the finger at the biker guy as the murderer of those people. This movie was just plain dumb and the ending was even more dumb. It was like they were all posing for pictures and talking at the same time. Acting 101 - this is what this cast seemed to have just finished before starting this film.
A Good Premise But It Still Could Have Been Much Better
Uriah4317 June 2014
This movie starts off with a cargo plane flying through a dangerous thunderstorm. Because of the turbulence a crate containing a very dangerous species of snake gets damaged which allows the snake to break out. Freed from its container it then proceeds to consume the occupants of the plane which then crashes in a remote part of the United States. From there on we learn that the snake is a hybrid created in Southeast Asia that has assimilated various abilities from other species and because of possible contamination by Agent Orange has grown to an enormous size and has an incredible destructive ability--and it has found a perfect venue for human flesh. Anyway, as far as the movie is concerned it had a good premise and contained a various amount of comedy, action and suspense. Unfortunately, none of these qualities were carried out to any great degree and in that regard I found the film to be somewhat unsuccessful. However, that's not to say that this movie has absolutely no entertainment value. It does to a limited degree. But it could have been much better. As such I rate it as slightly below average.
Big Snake
coolguyelijahsavestheworld15 June 2015
Warning: Spoilers
This movie is sort of interesting. I'm not saying it's good, but it's not that awful. Yeah bad acting. Special effects kind of suck. But if you start the movie, you probably won't stop it. Some of the stuff that happens is funny. If you're in the mood for something light, this wouldn't be bad. Basically a giant snake eats people in a town. Not that bad. A lot of things could have been better, but the movie is kind of fun. You might not want to watch the movie again, but you will remember it. Robert Englund does OK. Casper Van Dien is kind of stupid. And the sheriff is Billy Zabka, who was in the Karate Kid. It's a fun movie to check out, but it's one and done.
'Tis the season to be eating people!
Carrie9021011 October 2006
Warning: Spoilers
'Tis the season to be eating people! OK, since this was done back in 2000 the season has passed. Let me ask you this, do studio execs get together in their big board rooms collecting around mile-long chippendale tables with $5,000 catering for a power meeting, roll down the overhead and click on the PowerPoint and say, "The hottest thing on the new season's schedule should be 'big, exaggerated things that eat people!'"? Since I don't work for the industry you could drop me a line and clarify this, until then look out for some great potshots and beware of the spoilers! I admit that I had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do on this rainy day and moseyed over to Blockbuster to veg out on whatever that struck my fancy. My friends and I are purveyors of B-movies and bad movies and wear it like a badge, and since we sat through (and laughed at) "Anaconda" and "Lake Placid" (but Betty White's scene was actually pretty good), "Python" has been on my list for a while. First of all "Sixty feet of pure terror!" is a tad off the mark for the 129-foot sickeningly CGI reptile is a typo that I'm certain infuriates everyone around here. Were they that cheap or was the whole crap so under budgeted that Fox couldn't have looked up some outside graphics talent (Centro that did Steven Chow's "Kung Fu Hustle" comes to mind if they wanted to save some money) that the rendering was so unrefined and sloppy? And naturally our wonderful cast did as best as they could since some of these "cult figures" can't live up to the status. It no longer makes me wonder why Jenny McCarthy hasn't been doing anything since her NBC show flatlined. I know she has a kid and is divorced, but didn't her Playboy days finance her enough? She put out a book a couple of years back- didn't do so well, did it Jenny? So I'm glad she was killed off pretty quick. Wil Wheaton, don't bother trying to shed your Wesley Crusher skin, crap like this makes you look more desperate. Go back to Tech TV. And who could forget Marc McClure and Ed Lauter?! The 80s are gone my friends, you will always be Jimmy Olson and Coach Murray Chadwick ("Youngblood" if you don't remember). And it was a very Jimmy Olson move for McClure to actually let the snarling "beast" from its WOODEN PLANK cage loose- Golly Chief! And what the hell happened to you Billy Zabka? Did they make you get that crew cut? Least you weren't a whiny li'l bastard like in "The Equalizer". Stay off the juice (or was Jesus telling you to put on a few pounds to help you w/your career that has been defined by "Sweep the leg"?) but you're still cute pretty boy Johnny- NO MERCY!!! And that Texan from "Will and Grace" was right at home playing the doddering sheriff, so kudos to him! Casper Van Dien, start looking for another line of work. Your Southern drawl sucked (amongst other things) which brings me to my second nitpick: is this supposed to be Ruby, CA or Ruby, FL? The Californians sounded like Floridians (really badly): "Won't burn. Cain't shoot it." That is whenever they REMEMBERED their characters had accents.
And lastly, Dana Barron and Robert Englund. Why aren't you two retired? The surviving Dana of "The Three Danas" should think twice about scripts like these, then again it's slim pickins for someone her age. I suppose Robert probably had some debts to pay or took the role as our evil scientist out of sheer boredom. The whole chase scene through dark, pipe-lined tunnels was something I actually expected, I cannot see Zabka and Barron romantically involved, and how the hell does the chick in the shower (yet another original scene) survive the python attack and manage to find a towel at the same time? I think 3 out of 10 is way too merciful, then again I endured "Hyper Sonic" on the late Sunday night movie this summer (Zabka was in top form playing the sheisty executive, however looking healthier). Think I'll go get some Pringles make a pitcher of iced tea and watch the whole thing again. Have fun!
And lastly, Dana Barron and Robert Englund. Why aren't you two retired? The surviving Dana of "The Three Danas" should think twice about scripts like these, then again it's slim pickins for someone her age. I suppose Robert probably had some debts to pay or took the role as our evil scientist out of sheer boredom. The whole chase scene through dark, pipe-lined tunnels was something I actually expected, I cannot see Zabka and Barron romantically involved, and how the hell does the chick in the shower (yet another original scene) survive the python attack and manage to find a towel at the same time? I think 3 out of 10 is way too merciful, then again I endured "Hyper Sonic" on the late Sunday night movie this summer (Zabka was in top form playing the sheisty executive, however looking healthier). Think I'll go get some Pringles make a pitcher of iced tea and watch the whole thing again. Have fun!
All hail the magic towel
Sandcooler27 April 2010
I'm going to be frank here: I just don't get movie science. What possible benefit can there be in trying to create a giant and indestructible killer snake that just for the heck of it can also spit acid? And even if there's a proper use for that sort of thing, would you really try to transport said snake by merely shoving it into a wooden box and putting it on a plane? Didn't anyone notice a tiny flaw in that plan? Anyway, this movie mostly consists of pseudo-clever tongue-in-cheek moments, which all in all is pretty lame. When the makers are in on the joke, making fun of horror movies just isn't that great anymore. Some scenes do manage to be entertaining though, like the decapitation scene and pretty much every bit that involves Robert Englund as the crazed professor. My absolute favorite sequence is the shower attack though, how the hell does that towel stay on? Also the death scenes are hilariously crummy, and the crummyness is so funny that it just has to be unintentional. I can't believe how much these actors suck at pretending they're being attacked, they're about as convincing as UFO footage. I liked parts of this movie, it was better than I expected it to be, but that just says I had very low expectations.
Ugh!! if that's not bad.. I don't know what is!!
Funky_Casanova17 August 2001
I don't know about you guys, but this is the worst snake movie I have ever seen. It has a lot of bad acting and even a worse script! We rented the movie and watched it at home and I wish we didn't. It was a complete waste of time!
Dude, you got me out of bed for a SNAKE?
AwesomeWolf9 June 2005
Cheap horror movies don't come much worse, or cheaper, than 'Python'. $3, brand new retail. None of this second-hand or ex-rental crap. It was straight off in a retail store for $3. Now that, my friends, is awesome.
In the skies over the town of Ruby, California, the opening scene from 'Jurassic Park' is played out in a cargo plane. Two very intelligent military guys bust open a wooden crate - goaded on by numerous signs telling them not to open the crate - and very soon, these two very intelligent military guys are about as alive as they are smart. Then comes the 'Friday the 13th' sex scene: two lesbians arguing over name pronunciation - and just how lesbian the other is - when they become victims of the standard horror movie convention. That is, they were doing the deed, and then they carked it. I wonder what happened? Was it Jason? Or was there a giant snake on board the plane that crashed? With a climbing body count, it is up to our heroes to save the day. Or get eaten. Whatever happens first.
'Python' tries so desperately to be a horror movie that you almost feel sorry for it. There's no mystery or surprise about the creature. Good horror tend not to reveal the killer / monster / whatever until the end of the film, but then again, good horror movies don't have a detailed picture of the creature on the front cover and a detailed description of the creature in the blurb. 'Python' reveals it's title character ALMOST IMMEDIATELY! When it tries to pull off a cheap scare or even any sort of surprise, it is always something you could see from 163 feet away.
Does 'Python' have anything going for it? Why, it most certainly does. It seems to rest heavily on the comic relief, suggesting that they were trying for an 'Evil Dead 2' style horror / comedy, or even some sort of spoof. I'd buy that, considering all the scenes stolen from 'Jurassic Park' and blatant references to 'Friday the 13th'. However, I get the feeling they missed that opportunity entirely and just tried to make a serious horror film that failed almost completely. It is somewhat funny when it wants to be funny, and whole lot funnier when its trying to be serious. Yeah, that kind of funny.
'Python' - a terrible film, and a terribly entertaining film. It's trash, but hey, if you like trash then this is something you should see. Hey, it's still better than 'Anaconda' - 1/10
In the skies over the town of Ruby, California, the opening scene from 'Jurassic Park' is played out in a cargo plane. Two very intelligent military guys bust open a wooden crate - goaded on by numerous signs telling them not to open the crate - and very soon, these two very intelligent military guys are about as alive as they are smart. Then comes the 'Friday the 13th' sex scene: two lesbians arguing over name pronunciation - and just how lesbian the other is - when they become victims of the standard horror movie convention. That is, they were doing the deed, and then they carked it. I wonder what happened? Was it Jason? Or was there a giant snake on board the plane that crashed? With a climbing body count, it is up to our heroes to save the day. Or get eaten. Whatever happens first.
'Python' tries so desperately to be a horror movie that you almost feel sorry for it. There's no mystery or surprise about the creature. Good horror tend not to reveal the killer / monster / whatever until the end of the film, but then again, good horror movies don't have a detailed picture of the creature on the front cover and a detailed description of the creature in the blurb. 'Python' reveals it's title character ALMOST IMMEDIATELY! When it tries to pull off a cheap scare or even any sort of surprise, it is always something you could see from 163 feet away.
Does 'Python' have anything going for it? Why, it most certainly does. It seems to rest heavily on the comic relief, suggesting that they were trying for an 'Evil Dead 2' style horror / comedy, or even some sort of spoof. I'd buy that, considering all the scenes stolen from 'Jurassic Park' and blatant references to 'Friday the 13th'. However, I get the feeling they missed that opportunity entirely and just tried to make a serious horror film that failed almost completely. It is somewhat funny when it wants to be funny, and whole lot funnier when its trying to be serious. Yeah, that kind of funny.
'Python' - a terrible film, and a terribly entertaining film. It's trash, but hey, if you like trash then this is something you should see. Hey, it's still better than 'Anaconda' - 1/10
Pretty bad...
Honus19 September 2003
Too bad this was such a bad film. Could have been good with a little effort. I've just never seen such an acrobatic python! I never thought such a hulking reptile could perform such maneuvers! Well, if not for that, could have been more believable.
Great trash!
willywants14 February 2004
Warning: Spoilers
Minor spoilers ahead A secret intelligence organization has developed the perfect killing machine: a 57-foot python. When the government shuts the program down, the python is let loose on a killing spree. The only person who can stop it is Jeff Cooper, a champion mountain-bike racer. Python has every cliché known to man (See the other reviews), terrible over-acting, a dopey story line and a mundane script. So why'd I like it? It's great fun! there's some excellent gore (Bloody skeletal remains!), lots of plot holes (If this snake is the world's most "Deadly killer", why the hell was it being transported in a 12-foot WOODEN crate?)and as I said before, terrible overacting. Python's a guilty pleasure of mine and I recommend it only to people who like really, really bad movie. The camp scene in the beginning was hilarious! 1.5/10.
A pleasant B-film full of improbabilities
sorendanni23 July 2020
This B-Horror film delivers reasonable quality with a limited budget.
The special effects look somewhat dated, especially with regard to the snake, but it does not disturb all that much. The acting is good and the story is almost credible.
Is this a really good movie? Yes and no. The film is a lot better than what the IMDB figure suggests. Yet this is certainly not a top film, not even for a B-movie. Except for a single scare moment, I never found the film terrifying. Exciting? A little. Especially because a lot of characters are portrayed in a interesting way. I think the actors have done their best to make their superficial characters appear human.
The biggest mistake apart from the weak special effects? A rattling plot. The list of improbabilities and illogical choices by the characters is large, up to and including a protagonist who finds time for an outfit change in the middle of the pursuit by the snake. The film has its own logic and much is no more than an excuse to be able to film certain scenes.
It is best not to ask too many questions here and just enjoy the movie. My favorite scene was with the real estate businessman!
A tight 7/10 because of the fun!
The special effects look somewhat dated, especially with regard to the snake, but it does not disturb all that much. The acting is good and the story is almost credible.
Is this a really good movie? Yes and no. The film is a lot better than what the IMDB figure suggests. Yet this is certainly not a top film, not even for a B-movie. Except for a single scare moment, I never found the film terrifying. Exciting? A little. Especially because a lot of characters are portrayed in a interesting way. I think the actors have done their best to make their superficial characters appear human.
The biggest mistake apart from the weak special effects? A rattling plot. The list of improbabilities and illogical choices by the characters is large, up to and including a protagonist who finds time for an outfit change in the middle of the pursuit by the snake. The film has its own logic and much is no more than an excuse to be able to film certain scenes.
It is best not to ask too many questions here and just enjoy the movie. My favorite scene was with the real estate businessman!
A tight 7/10 because of the fun!
bad but in a hilarious way...
damoviecritic5 February 2007
Python is not a film that can be fairly rated based on normal film standards. Instead it must be rated on what are called "party standards." Party standards represent how much fun you would have watching this film at a crazy party. From the opening Lesbian scene (my name is Roberta), to Kenny the Closer's attempt at an affiar, Python is an absolute blast to watch with friends. Unfortunately, I must rate it based on normal movie standards. The acting is below Uwe Boll standards. The special effects are far below Uwe standards. The whole movie is something that would've come out of Uwe Bolls butt on a bad day. The attempts at comedy are much funnier than intended. The attempts at horror are funnier than intending. The attempts at drama aren't there. The whole movie is bad, bad, bad. But go ahead. Rent it with a bunch of your friends. Just prepare yourself for a film that has a better chance of killing you with excessive laughter than Borat.
See also
Awards | FAQ | User Ratings | External Reviews | Metacritic Reviews
