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Happy Accidents (2000) Poster

Quotes

Ruby: Religion goes out of favor in 2033 when science discovers the gene that regulates fear.

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Sam Deed: [Ruby is relating to her therapist what Sam said about love and time and we cut to witness it] Your heart is like a clock measuring time and one's emotional state determines the flow of time. It speeds it up or slows it down.

Ruby: So, time is a personal thing?

Sam Deed: Yes. Sure.

Ruby: Time is an emotional thing. That's what you're saying?

Ruby: Yeah, yeah, sure. Don't bad things always seem to last longer than good ones? But good things seem to just fly by... like the best times in life.

Ruby: Yeah...

Sam Deed: Like what?

Ruby: Like...

Sam Deed: Like falling in love.

Ruby: [Dreamy look in her eyes and tone in her voice] Yeah...

[Suddenly she jerks]

Ruby: Oh, my God! I'm late for work. I totally spaced.

Sam Deed: See what I mean?

Ruby: [Ruby looks at him with mixed emotions and not quite knowing what to say. She then narrates:] That was the morning we first met.

[We see her sweetly wave goodbye to him]

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Sam Deed: The future isn't what it used to be...

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Sam Deed: I'm different.

Ruby: You're gay! You're a Jew for Jesus? It's that tattoo. It's a cult. You're in a cult. You're a Branch Davidian? You're a Survivalist?

Sam Deed: No!

Ruby: You're a pimp and Chrystie Delancey's one of your sluts!

Sam Deed: I am not a pimp!

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Sam Deed: [to Ruby] That's Victor. His sister went down on the Titanic, he never stops talking about her.

Victor: [to Jose] My sister, she went down on the Titanic.

Jose: [to Victor] I know, I remember.

Sam Deed: [to Ruby] Old folks are great.

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[Ruby is expanding to her therapist about how they first met. She narrates as we watch them met on a park bench - which is ommited here]

Ruby: What was it about him? What was it about him? Maybe it was his manner. He seemed gentle. But I didn't think I'd see him again.

[Her narration continues as we watch and hear her doing affirmations in the bathroom mirror: "I... recognize... that my own needs are important! I am willing to find a balance between my own needs and my concern for others." She then exits her building to find Sam outside waiting for her with the book she left at the park]

Ruby: He was one of those guys you meet for a moment, but that lodge themselves in your brain forever. Better for fantasizing about than actually sleeping with. Better as mysteries. Because we all know what happens when you take away the mystery.

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Sam Deed: You know, I've never told a woman the things I've told you. You are the first and... the only. You're... the one and only. You know... I... I... I feel like... ah... I feel like my whole life has just been a journey into your arms.

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Mark: Do you ever think about, like, the big issues, you know? Like, where do we come from? What are we here for?

Sam Deed: Someday, Marko, there won't be any big questions.

Mark: Like UFO's, all right? What are they?

Sam Deed: They're interstellar travelers. They come from a planet called Enon from Osiris Galaxy. They stop here on Earth to fill up their nitro-carbon engines and then...

[waves his hand]

Mark: ...Maybe. What about God, huh? Is there a God?

Sam Deed: Surprisingly, yes. A Jesuit priest found 102 of them using a telepathy scope.

Mark: ...Through a what?

Sam Deed: A telepathy scope.

Mark: What's a telepathy scope, dude?

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[first lines]

Ruby: Murder? Oh God, Sam, murder?

Sam Deed: It wasn't me.

Ruby: Nobody could understand this, Sam, it's too much. It's too much.

Sam Deed: I think it would be easier if I told you a little at a time. It would sink in a little at a time.

Ruby: Sink in a little at a time? You... you just dropped an emotional anvil on my head. Look at me, I'm flat as a pancake.

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Sam Deed: I'm not from Dubuque.

Ruby: Okay, you're not from Dubuque. So where are you from then?

Sam Deed: Dubuque.

Ruby: [screams]

Sam Deed: I'm not from Dubuque in the way you think I'm from Dubuque.

Ruby: Well, how many ways can you be from Dubuque?

Sam Deed: I'm not from *your* Dubuque.

Ruby: My Dubuque? Since when is Dubuque mine. I've never even been to Ohio!

Sam Deed: Iowa.

Ruby: Whatever!

Sam Deed: Look, I'm just saying that my Dubuque is different from your Dubuque.

Ruby: How?

Sam Deed: It doesn't exist.

Ruby: You just said it's in Io-ho.

Sam Deed: Iowa!

Ruby: So *your* Dubuque doesn't exist.

Sam Deed: Yet.

Ruby: Yet?

Sam Deed: Yet!

Ruby: Yet?

Sam Deed: Yet!

Ruby: So when will your Dubuque exist?

Sam Deed: ...2470 AD. That's in 471 years - from now.

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Sam Deed: When you back-travel, ya know, you go back centuries, ya know like that. The mind is a little slower. It tries to catch up, but then it gets confused and kinda throws itself into reverse, ya know? The causality of events flips and time flows backwards. But you shouldn't worry about it, okay? Because most people, they adjust in a few months.

Ruby: Most?

Sam Deed: Yeah. Well, ya know, for some people this gets worse until everything is in reverse all the time. Ya know, they live in a reverse world in their head until they die. Well no, die is the wrong word - until they re-enter their mother's... ya know.

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Ruby: I learned about his past by asking about my future.

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Lillian Weaver: [Ruby has just knocked on her mom's door after the major blow-up with Sam] Honey?

Ruby: [Obviously greatly upset and on the verge of tears] Mother.

Lillian Weaver: What? What is it?

Ruby: [Brief cut to Katherine Hepburn movie playing on the TV where she's saying: "I come from such a different world, and I'm not going to be here long." Then a cut to Ruby sitting with her Mom on her bed along with her little dog, Marvin] Where's Dad?

Lillian Weaver: Where do you think? He's at the office as usual.

[Ruby sniffs and looks down trying to avoid crying]

Lillian Weaver: What is it?

Ruby: I had a happy childhood, right?

Lillian Weaver: We tried.

Ruby: So... why am I so fucked up? Why are my relationships so fucked up?

Lillian Weaver: Because you care, my love.

Ruby: I care too much.

Lillian Weaver: You can't care too much.

Ruby: I fall in love too easily.

Lillian Weaver: There are a lot worse things that could be wrong with you. Believe me. And I bet you Sam would agree with me. Hmmm?

Ruby: [She thinks about that for a moment and laughs] Sam was scared of Marvin.

Lillian Weaver: [laughing and incredulous] No! Marvin? Little Marvin? The foot licker?

Ruby: [Both look at Marvin sitting by Lillian's foot who then dutifully gives it a few licks. Cut scene to Sam getting very drunk in a bar and then proceeding on his misadventure with Sunil, the cab driver. We overhear Ruby tell her Mom more about Sam:] Sam is like... How can I even describe him? He's like two people in one. Sometimes he's like an incredible genius. Then he's also really clueless sometimes, like a child. And he can be really fierce. But he's also really soft. And he can be really romantic... and chivalrous. But the thing is, he's really caring. More than me. More than what I can... give back to him. I just don't know if I know what love is. It's not fair.

Lillian Weaver: Fair? Who ever told you that relationships were fair? Relationships are not fair. They're... battles. They're battles for supremacy.

Ruby: What?

Lillian Weaver: Honey, do you have any idea how many years I had to live with your father's drinking? Do you realize what a battle that was?

Ruby: I know, Mom. And that's why you helped him quit, because it wasn't fair.

Lillian Weaver: October the 15th, 1988. That was it. That was the day he stopped. Boy, I remember that day like it's yesterday. It was a Tuesday and he hasn't had a drop since.

Ruby: Because you made it happen.

Lillian Weaver: That's it. And now every day's a struggle.

[Ruby starts to object]

Lillian Weaver: Sweetheart... since Daddy's stopped drinking... we have... lost our spark. I know that's it wrong of me to say it, but... I miss your father the way he was.

Ruby: But Mom, he's... an alcoholic.

Lillian Weaver: And I was a classic codependent. I know that. Until I forced myself to stop caring about him. Until I forced him to deal with his own problems. Guess what? He did. And he got better. And I guess you could say now, that our relationship is more fair. There's just one slight casualty. The passion is gone.

[Both are at the brink of bawling]

Lillian Weaver: My love, my beautiful daughter. You give so much. You care so deeply. But you're so busy trying to fix the problem that you forget to enjoy the moments of happiness that you have. And your father and I, we had our moments. We loved... our happiness. When we had it, we... relished it. And that's what you must do. You must got to him... and you must tell him, Honey. You tell him how you feel. And... you... enjoy... each other for what you can give to each other now. Believe me, it won't last forever.

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Gretchen: So why did the "gene dupes" ban it? Back travel?

Ruby: Uh, well, brain drain, apparently. Too many anachronists were disappearing into the past. They banned it in 2467, except for the terminally ill.

Gretchen: That's fun, isn't it? Playing along?

Ruby: Yeah, I mean, he's a freak, but he tells a good story!

Gretchen: Oh, I'll bet he does!

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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