These Old Broads (2001 TV Movie)
Kate Westbourne: I know a friend who lipoed her stomach once. A few months later, she looked like Jabba the Hutt.
Miriam: Who's Jabba the Hutt?
Addie Holden: It's a sea slug, Mummy, from outer space and it's not a complimant.
Addie Holden: The man died literally on top of me.
Piper Grayson: Isn't it what most men want - to die in the saddle?
Addie Holden: It is not that great for the saddle.
Beryl Mason: I was with Freddie because I was in a blackout. What's your excuse?
Bill: I'm an ex-Marine, and in WWII I pulled a man's face off with just these two fingers. I didn't enjoy it... much. But I'd do it again!
Wesley Westbourne: You and Miss Westbourne had... uyuh... relations with the director.
Addie Holden: Not at the same time, obviously.
Miriam: That's her Hollywood voice.
Addie Holden: Can it, mummy dearest! I was educated in England.
Miriam: If you say so, Countess.
Kate Westbourne: I would rather get a barium enema on live TV than work with that tramp again!
Kate Westbourne: I wasn't born yesterday.
Wesley Westbourne: Yeah, I'll say!
Kate Westbourne: You're a brat. I should never have taught you to speak.
Wesley Westbourne: Why are we so horrible to each other?
Kate Westbourne: Well, that's easy. We have an S&M relationship. Son & Mother.
Beryl Mason: I think of sex as a language and I'm fluent in it. You? Well, for you it's... a second language.
Piper Grayson: [Addie lights a cigarette] Smoking kills!
Kate Westbourne: Oh-ho, dear, let her smoke!
Kate Westbourne: You know, sometimes you don't even act like you're my son, Wesley.
Wesley Westbourne: Sometimes you don't even act like you're my mother.
Kate Westbourne: Oh, come on, I've given you everything a child could want. Toys, love, publicity...
Gavin: That's one good-lookin' lady!
Wesley Westbourne: Gavin, I may be mistaken, but I think she was very much alive at the start of World War II.
Wesley Westbourne: Do you ever get tired of being such a maggot?
Gavin: Nah, I love it!
Kate Westbourne: [sing-song] With makeup as thick as clotted cream, no you're not a clown, you're a drag queen.
Addie Holden: Well, if I've got the makeup of a drag queen, you've got the shoulders!