Quotes
[SpongeBob appears on the horizon]
Sandy Cheeks: Here, Patrick. Have a Krabby Patty.
[whispers]
Sandy Cheeks: Psst. There he is Patrick, say your line.
Patrick: [picks up paper] Why thank you, Sandy. Take Patty. Too bad SpongeBob isn't here to enjoy this. These are his favorite.
[on the verge of tears]
Patrick: Take bite.
Share thisPlankton: That naive cube.
Share thisMr. Krabs: Attention all employees! Just giving you a heads-up. I'll be conducting a surprise uniform inspection in one hour. Whoever doesn't pass gets the boot.
[Pulls out a boot]
Mr. Krabs: This boot to be exact. It's very stinky, and you have to wear it all day.
Share thisSpongeBob SquarePants: Oh, tartar sauce.
Share thisPlankton: Well, this stinks.
Share thisMr. Krabs: [Attempting to convince SpongeBob to give him a hat] I didn't want to tell you this in front of Patrick, but that hat makes you look like a girl.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Am I a pretty girl?
Mr. Krabs: Well... yes, you're... you're beautiful.
[Mailman passing by stares at Mr. Krabs in disgust]
Share thisPatrick: The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma
[thought bubble for Patrick shows a carton of milk tipping over and spilling]
Share this[Talking about the advantages of being felons]
SpongeBob SquarePants: And you get to talk tough.
[gruff voice]
SpongeBob SquarePants: This town ain't big enough for the two of us.
Patrick: Let me try. Uh... hey, punk.
Share thisSquidward: [To Krabs. ] Why don't you go and ask Cowbob Ranchpants and his friend sir Eat-a-lot.
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob. What's with all the nicknames?
Share thisSquidward: SpongeBob is the only guy I know who can have fun with a jellyfish,
[shouting]
Squidward: for twelve hours!
Share this[SpongeBob has a jellyfish on a leash]
SpongeBob SquarePants: Hey, Squidward. Meet my new pet.
Squidward: That's no pet. That's a wild animal.
SpongeBob SquarePants: No he isn't. He can do tricks.
[Throwing a stick]
SpongeBob SquarePants: Fetch!
[Jellyfish fetches stick]
SpongeBob SquarePants: [holding up three fingers] How many fingers am I holding up?
[Jellyfish buzzes three times]
SpongeBob SquarePants: Play dead!
[Jellyfish is buried under a tombstone, then comes out]
Squidward: I wouldn't let that thing in my house even if it was potty-trained.
[Jellyfish is sitting on a toilet, reading the newspaper and humming]
Squidward: I didn't need to see that.
Share thisPatrick: Heart on stick - must die!
Share thisFish: Meep
Share thisSpongeBob SquarePants: I guess Grampa SquarePants was right: Never run for a bus...
[Imitates Grampa SquarePants]
SpongeBob SquarePants: ... especially one that's going up at a 90 degree angle.
Share this[Looking for Squidward in a crowd of squids]
SpongeBob SquarePants: Are you Squidward?
Squid #1: No.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Are you Squidward?
Squid #2: No.
Patrick: [to a fire hydrant] Are you Squidward?
[silence]
Patrick: It's okay. Take your time.
Share thisSpongeBob SquarePants: I'm every bit as good as Larry, and if I'm not, then may I be struck by...
[rumble of thunder]
SpongeBob SquarePants: ... a flying ice cream truck.
[a shadow forms over SpongeBob; chimes play]
SpongeBob SquarePants: And live!
[the flying ice cream truck stops short of crushing Spongebob]
Larry the Lobster: [on megaphone] Please do not land flying ice cream trucks on the bathers.
Share thisSpongeBob SquarePants: [in a mattress store] Wow, look at all these mattresses! How many do you think here are?
Patrick: [looks around the store] Ten.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Cool.
Share thisPatrick: Don't geniuses live in lamps?
Share thisSquidward: Will you please stop leaving your undergarments on my front lawn?
Share thisCustomer: [after eating the Krabby Patty with Jellyfish Jelly] Amazing! I've got to tell someone about this!
[singing]
Customer: Hey, all you people / Hey, all you people / Hey, all you people, won't you listen to me? / I just had a sandwich, no ordinary sandwich! / A sandwich filled with Jellyfish Jelly! / Hey man, you've got to try this sandwich / It's no ordinary sandwich / It's the tastiest sandwich in the sea!
[scats]
Share thisMermaid Man: Now, who wants to save the world?
SpongeBob: I do!
Patrick: I do!
Sandy Cheeks: I do!
Squidward: I don't.
Mr. Krabs: Oh, yes you do, no world means no money, so either save the world, or you're fired!
[Squidward sighs]
Share thisPotty: [squawks] What a rip-off.
Patchy the Pirate: It's a forty dollar value, Potty! A forty dollar value!
Share thisSquidward: Okay, SpongeBob, I bet you can't play music on a piece of paper.
[plays on his clarinet]
SpongeBob: [he claps] Hurray! That was great, Squidward! All those wrong notes you played made it sound more original.
Squidward: I didn't play any wrong notes.
[plays again]
SpongeBob: Yeah, see, you're playing it like this...
[plays like Squidward with the paper]
SpongeBob: when ordinarily it goes like this.
[plays it right]
SpongeBob: [stops playing] I'm partial to playing in the key of A minor myself.
[a huge piece of music appears in the background]
Share thisSandy Cheeks: Holy guacamole!
Share thisMr. Krabs: Mr. Squidward! What the halibut is going on?
Squidward: It's a feeding frenzy, Mr. Krabs, and SpongeBob is still not back from his break.
[Mr. Krabs laughs]
Squidward: What?
Mr. Krabs: I thought you said SpongeBob was taking a break. No one has taken a break in the Krusty Krab since the chum famine of '59. Now, what was that you said?
Squidward: He took a break.
[Mr. Krabs stands shocked for a moment; his claws and nose fall off]
Share thisMermaid Man: That guy over there used to be the Atomic Flounder. I know he doesn't look like much now, but he could go back to crime
[snaps fingers]
Mermaid Man: just like that
[Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy chuckle; SpongeBob suddenly tackles the Atomic Flounder]
Atomic Flounder: Help, somebody there!
SpongeBob: You're under arrest, Atomic Flounder!
Mermaid Man: No, lad! Don't!
SpongeBob: But you said he could turn back to crime
[snaps fingers]
SpongeBob: like that.
Atomic Flounder: What? Get off me! If I weren't retired I'd... I'd... Roar!
[Breathes radiation on Barnacle Boy's face, burning it]
Atomic Flounder: ... do that.
Share thisFred: My leg!
Share thisSpongeBob: Hey, Squidward, check this out! Two ordinary patties, but when expertly tossed with the skill of a champ, they become...
Patrick: ...A one way ticket to *pain*!
[smashes into Mr. Krabb's door]
Share thisMr. Krabs: [counting] one, two, blue, applesauce...
Share thisSpongeBob SquarePants: Hi, Kevin. I'm your biggest fan.
Kevin the Sea Cucumber: That's nice. Security!
SpongeBob SquarePants: No, no! I'll do anything you want!
Kevin the Sea Cucumber: Go jump off a building.
[SpongeBob jumps off building, returns]
SpongeBob SquarePants: Anything.
Kevin the Sea Cucumber: Punch yourself in the face.
[SpongeBob punches himself with a boxing glove]
Kevin the Sea Cucumber: Doesn't that hurt?
SpongeBob SquarePants: [Puts on a metal gauntlet with spikes] Do you want it to hurt, Kevin?
Share thisSpongeBob SquarePants: Well Patrick, I was going to ask you if you wanted to go jellyfishing but I can see that you're busy having an episode.
Share thisPlankton: [yells] Lady, someone should put you in a box to drift in the river!
Elderly lady: [pauses, sadly] ... you're right.
Share thisSpongeBob SquarePants: Bye Squidward! Bye Mr. Krabs! Bye Squidward!
Patrick: You said bye to Squidward twice.
SpongeBob SquarePants: [grins huge, pauses, dreamily] I liiiike Squidward.
Share this[opening sequence]
Painting: Are you ready kids?
Kids: Aye Aye Captain!
Painting: I can't hear you!
Kids: Aye Aye Captain!
Painting, Kids: Ohhhh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
Kids: SpongeBob SquarePants!
Painting: Absorbent and yellow and porous is he!
Kids: SpongeBob SquarePants!
Painting: If nautical nonsense be somethin' you wish.
Kids: SpongeBob SquarePants!
Painting: Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish!
Painting, Kids: Ready? SpongeBob SquarePants! SpongeBob SquarePants! SpongeBob SquarePants! SpongeBob SquarePannnnnts!
[Hearty laugh]
Painting, Kids: [SpongeBob plays flute using his nose]
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