Quotes

Kasey: Courtney'll get captain. The guys like touching her butt.

Darcy: Yeah, she's got a lot to hang on to. What's the plural for 'butt'? On one person, I mean.

Carver: She puts the "ass" in "massive".

Darcy: You put the "lewd" in "deluded".

Sparky: I am a choreographer. That's what I do. You are cheerleaders. Cheerleaders are dancers who have gone retarded. What you do is a tiny, pathetic subset of dancing. I will attempt to turn your robotic routines into poetry, written with the human body. Follow me, or perish, sweater monkeys.

Courtney: Why does everyone have to go on a diet?

Sparky: Because! In cheerleading we throw people into the air. And fat people don't go as high.

Courtney: Let's not put the "duh" in dumb!

Whitney: [Courtney and Whitney notice Torrance flirting with Cliff] Oh, don't play dumb. We're better at it then you.

Courtney: You were having cheer-sex with him!

Football Announcer: Our next defeat is scheduled for next Friday, 8 o'clock.

Big Red: You are all great athletes, thanks in large part... to me.

Jan: You know, all the cheerleaders in the world wouldn't help our football team.

Les: It's just wrong. Cheering for them is just plain mean!

Isis: Hey! Enjoy the show?

Lava: Yes, were the ethnic festivities to your liking today?

Torrance Shipman: You know, mothers have killed to get their daughters on squads.

Christine Shipman: That mother didn't kill anybody. She hired a hit man.

Missy: See, I'm a hardcore gymnast. No way jumping up and down yelling "Go Team Go!" is gonna satisfy me.

Torrance Shipman: We're gymnasts too, except no beams, no bars, no vault.

Torrance Shipman: You're a great cheerleader, Aaron, and you're cute as hell, but maybe you're just not "boyfriend" material.

Jan: They don't go, we win; once again, we're the best.

Torrance Shipman: I define being the best as competing against the best there is out there and beating them. They have to go.

Sparky: I want you to think of what you ate today. Got it? Now cut that in half, this is called a diet, people, everyone start one today! Darcy, you should stop eating. You see, when you skip a meal, your body feeds off its fat stores. And if you skip enough, maybe your body will eat your ass!

Missy: All right, we'll just get it over with. Hey, Torrance, get over here.

[Torrance comes over]

Missy: My brother wants to check out your rack.

Jenelope: Can we just beat these Buffys down so I can go home? I'm on curfew girl.

Big Red: I'm sexy, I'm cute, / I'm popular to boot.

The Toros Squad: I'm bitchin', great hair, / The boys all love to stare, / I'm wanted, I'm hot, / I'm everything you're not, / I'm pretty, I'm cool, / I dominate this school, / Who am I? Just guess, / Guys wanna touch my chest, / I'm rockin', I smile, / And many think I'm vile, / I'm flyin', I jump, / You can look but don't you hump, / Whoo / I'm major, I roar, / I swear I'm not a whore, / We cheer and we lead, / We act like we're on speed, / Hate us 'cause we're beautiful, / Well we don't like you either, / We're cheerleaders, / We are cheerleaders. /Roll call...

Big Red: Call me Big Red.

Whitney: I'm W-W-W-W-Whitney.

Courtney: C-C-C-C-Courtney.

[Courtney makes cat snarl]

Darcy: Dude, it's Darcy.

Carver: I'm big bad Carver. Yeah!

Kasey: Just call me Kasey!

Big Red: I'm... still Big Red, / I sizzle, I scorch, / But now I pass the torch, / The ballots are in, / And one girl has to win, / She's perky, she's fun, / And now she's number one, / K-K-Kick it Torrance, / T-T-T-Torrance!

Torrance Shipman: I'm strong and I'm loud, / I'm gonna make you proud, / I'm T-T-T-Torrance, / Your captain Torrance.

The Toros Squad: Let's go Toros. /We are the Toros, / The Mighty Mighty Toros, / We're so terrific, / We must be Toros.

Les: You know, everyone's saying that your ambition broke Carver's leg.

Torrance Shipman: When really it was the angle in which she slammed into the ground.

Les: Kasey did a massive e-mail last night, misspelled "leg".

Torrance Shipman: Shut up!

Les: Two G's.

Darcy: Can she yell?

Torrance Shipman: I don't know, let's try an oldie.

[Torrance tests a standard cheer on her]

Torrance Shipman: Awesome, oh wow! Like, totally freak me out! I mean, right on! The Toros sure are number one!

Missy: [cheering] I transferred from Los Angeles, your school has no gymnastics team, this is a last resort!

[back to normal tone]

Missy: OK, so I never cheered before. So what? What about doing something that actually requires neurons.

Whitney: [talking about Missy to Courtney] Excuse me, where did you park your Harley?

Courtney: [whispering to Whitney] Do it.

Whitney: Front handspring step out, round-off backhandspring step-out, round-off back handspring, full-twisting layout.

Courtney: [Missy completes the tumbling pass] Where is this girl from? Romania?

Isis: Know what? She's right. See, then we'd be doing them a favor. Then they could feel good about sending raggedy Ann up here to jack us for our cheers.

Torrance Shipman: 'Raggedy Ann'?

Isis: Ugly redhead with a video camera permanently attached to her hand. Y'all been coming up here for years trying to steal our routines.

Lafred: And we just love seeing them on ESPN.

Torrance Shipman: What are you talking about?

Isis: 'Brr, it's cold in here, there must be some Toros in the atmosphere'? I know you don't think a white girl made that shit up. Our free cheer service is over as of this moment.

Jenelope: Over!

Lafred: Finito!

Isis: Every time we get some, here y'all come trying to steal it, putting some blonde hair on it and calling it something different. We've had the best squad around for years, but no one's been able to see what we can do. But you better believe, all that's gonna change this year. I'm captain, and I guarantee you we'll make it to Nationals. So just hand over the tape you made tonight, we'll call it even for now.

Torrance Shipman: We don't have any tape.

Missy: Really. We just came to see the show.

Jenelope: What? Come on, Isis! Let me do this!

Isis: You know what? Let's go.

Jenelope: Wait a minute. So that's it? We're just gonna let them go?

Isis: Yeah. Because unlike them, we have class.

Torrance Shipman: I swear I had no idea.

Isis: Well, now you do.

Jenelope: Huh! You been touched by an angel, girl!

Courtney: Where the hell are my spanky pants?

Darcy: Remember: They give extra points for alacrity and effulgence.

Kasey: Did we bring those?

[last lines]

Cliff: So, second place... how does it feel?

Torrance Shipman: It feels like first.

[they kiss]

Darcy: The words "big" and "britches" come to mind.

Whitney: She's crazy. She'll kill us all.

Courtney: Some of us haven't spent the whole summer working out. Right, Carver?

Darcy: Bring on the tyros, the neophytes, and the dilettantes.

Jan: SATs are over, Darcy.

Darcy: And you're still jealous of my score.

Football Player #1: Jan's got spirit, yes he do!

Football Player #2: Jan's got spirit, how bout you?

Jan: Dude! You just lost!

Missy: So is every game that eventful?

Torrance Shipman: No, thank God. We have a real situation on our hands. I mean, we were humiliated on our own turf.

Missy: We might have to have a rumble.

Torrance Shipman: This is a serious problem!

Missy: Oh, so is your breath.

Torrance Shipman: Thank God you're here this season Missy. I couldn't have done it alone.

Missy: Aww, tear.

[she points to an invisible tear on her face]

Les: Pinch a penny, someone's slacking.

Jan: Do I look like a milkmaid 'cause somebody feels like a cow.

Theatre Boy: [performing] Give my regards to Broadway, remember me to Harold Square...

Courtney: Excuse me! What's... with... the song?

Theatre Boy: Isn't this the audition for Pippin?

Courtney: [waves finger] No.

Isis: Where we come from, 'cheer' is not a word you hear very often...

Lava: They should call us 'inspiration leaders' instead.

Jenelope: Ooo, that's deep... I like that

Lafred: Look, I don't know why we writin to some talk show host. It's like we begging for charity or somethin'

Isis: It's not charity. Pauletta's from our neighborhood. She'll understand why we need the money.

Lafred: [laughing] tell her we need to buy doughnuts. Her big butt'll understand that.

Jenelope: Aha - stop trying to be counter-productive.

Lafred: Lava, stop teaching her these big words before she choke on one.

Jenelope: No, betta I choke you, LaFred!

Big Red: This season should've been gravy, ok? I handpicked the squad, I delivered an idiot-proof routine... Now, Platter... nationals, hello?

Torrance Shipman: Don't you mean a stolen routine?

Big Red: Don't be so naive, Torrance. Look, the truth is I was real leader, ok? I did what I had to do to win a nationals. And ever since I handed the reins over to you, you've run my squad straight into the ground! If I made any mistake as a squad leader, it wasn't borrowing cheers. It was announcing you as my successor.

Courtney: Tell me we're not doing this whole audition thing, let's cut the crap and pick somebody now! Whitney's sister Jamie is really teeny. She'll be easy to toss, and she doesn't give lip.

Jan: Just tongue.

Whitney: Kiss my ass, Jan!

Jan: Love to.

Torrance Shipman: Missy is bank!

Courtney: Uh, bankrupt!