Violet: I'm not lost. Somebody just moved my street.
Kevin: Just for the record, I was only staring at your ass for the first 15 minutes!
Cammie: I'm Cammie, the Russian tease.
Violet: Violet, the Jersey nun.
Cammie: That one's Rachel, the New York bitch. We all play our little parts. Only Rachel really is a bitch, and I really am a tease.
Lil: Cammie, you can only be a tease if you stop sleepin' around, babe.
Cammie: Yeah, I keep forgetting that part!
Girl: Can I ask you somethin'?
Girl: What - Oh, what does Coyote Ugly mean?
Lil: Did you ever wake up sober after a one night stand, and the person you're next to is layin' on your arm, and they're so ugly, you'd rather chew off your arm then risk waking 'em? That's coyote ugly.
Girl: My God. But, why would you name your bar after somethin' like that?
Lil: Oh, because Cheers was taken.
Rachel: Lil, do we serve water with our whiskey?
Lil: Only water I serve's got barley and hops in it. Hey everybody, do we serve water in this bar?
Everybody: Hell, no H2O!
Violet: Hi. I'm Violet Sanford. I just recently moved to New York and I was wondering if you would give my tape to one of your artists.
Wendy: Violet, that is so cute! Now lemme tell you about me. My name is Wendy and I first moved to New York when I was 21 to be a dancer, but I broke my big toe and then I got knocked up by this actor who dumped me to join the Peace Corps, so for the last 16 years I been raising my daughter all by myself and then two weeks ago, she tells me that she is a bisexual and that she hates me more than any person on this planet.
Wendy: Now tell me how I can help you, please, because I am dying to make *your* dreams come true.
Violet: Cammie, I think I just fell in love with you.
Cammie: Oh Violet, I'm not a lesbian. I played in the minors but never went pro.
Violet: That's *not*, what I meant.
Customer: So, basically you have...?
Lil: Jim, Jack, Johnny Red, Johnny Black, and Jose; all my favorite men. You can have it any way you like it, as long as it's in a shot glass.
Lil: That's Rachel, you can learn a lot from her.
Violet: She just cut some guy's ponytail off.
Lil: Yeah, the court ordered her to take anger-management classes after she pummeled a customer for grabbin' her ass. He pressed charges, I gave her a raise. Cheers!
Cammie: Hello? A naked girl in Army Boots? Easy play to call.
Lil: Hey, everybody, shut up! I'd like you to meet my new girl, whose name is... Jersey! Jersey, is an ex kindergarten teacher, and a former nun, who just escaped from the convent, and is tired of being the only virgin in New York City! Would anyone like to buy her a drink?
Rachel: Girl, you could be dancin' on the floor. I wanna see your bras!
Zoe: Is this a church meeting or is this a bar? Make some noise!
Violet: I don't mean to press my luck, but would you mind telling me why you're hiring me?
Lil: Because, the, um, average male is walking around with a toddler inside of his pants, a two year old right there inside his dockers.
Violet: Men have two year old children in their pants - that's why you're hiring me?
Lil: You look like a kindergarden teacher. The kids'll love it.
Violet: Sorry I asked.
[Kevin kisses Violet then starts to walk away]
Kevin: Have a nice day!
Violet: "Have a nice day"?
Kevin: Yeah, I panicked, I didn't know what else to say!
Violet: What do you want?
Kevin: Well, it's, uh, 3 in the morning, I want what every man wants.
Violet: You said I could be whatever I wanna be.
Bill Sanford: I never said "Songwriter in New York City."
Lil: I'm married to that bar. Hell, I'd, uh, I'd sleep there, if I had the guts to walk around barefoot. But that's me, you know. I'm the original coyote. Just a small town gal trying to make it in the big bad city.
Violet: Small town gal?
Lil: Piedmont, North Dakota. You ever tell anyone that, I'll kill ya.
Violet: I'm a songwriter, is there someone here I can talk to about my songs?
Fiji Mermaid Waiter: I've been a struggling sax player for 12 years. What can I get you from the bar?
Violet: Okay, I've never had anyone stare at my ass for half an hour, so I'm gonna say goodnight, and I'm hoping you're gonna say it back.
Violet: Look, are you really the owner? 'Cause I've had a rough couple of days and so the last thing I need is some waitress on a power trip wastin' my time.
Lil: You start Friday night.
Violet: Oh, right, we don't talk about you, right? It's a big secret. Come on, Kevin, let's play a game. I'm gonna guess why you left Australia.
Kevin: Doesn't matter.
Violet: You were in jail? No that's not it. You have a wife and four kids in Sydney? Come on, am I getting warm? Come on, Kevin, I don't have alot of time. Why'd you run away from home?
Kevin: I didn't have a home! Is that what you wanted to hear? I don't have a family. I mean that's the big secret! Are you happy? Huh? Are you gonna feel sorry for me now? Are you gonna hold me close while I tell you I had to change homes every 2 years? I had a bad childhood, big deal. I don't need your sympathy! 'Cause I'm here and I'm livin' on my two feet like I wanted to. That was my dream. At least I did it with a little bit of dignity.
Violet: And I didn't, that's it?
Kevin: Well just unbutton the blouse a little and unzip the pants a little, show a little bit of flesh. I think you can figure it out.
Kevin: [following Violet] Wanna play a game?
Violet: I want my tape.
Kevin: Had a feeling you'd be back to see me.
Manager: No dates in the kitchen, O'Donnell.
Violet: I'm not staying. I-I just want my tape. Please.
[he hands her the tape]
Violet: Thanks. Bye.
Kevin: Did you really write all those songs?
Violet: You listened to my tape?
Kevin: No, of course not, I mean, that would be invasion of privacy.
Kevin: Baby you're the right kind of wrong.
Violet: Go ahead. Laugh it up. 'Cause there's nothing you can say that's gonna bother me.
Kevin: I'm just trying to tell you I like your music. I mean, do you always take compliments so well?
Violet: You collect comic books? That's so cute.
Kevin: It's not cute... it's very rugged and manly.
Violet: This is my job!
Kevin: It's a goddamn sandbox for you to stick your head in!
Violet: What is that supposed to mean?
Kevin: The place is a joke, alright? They don't come to watch you sing, they come to watch girls shaking it on a bar!
Bill Sanford: Put some pepper spray in your purse. Even if you're not sure, just start spraying.
Guy: Now, shake it! Come on!
Lil: Don't do it, Rach. He's a big guy and you're still on probation.
Rachel: Don't worry, those classes are really paying off!
[slams the back of her fist into the guy's face]
Violet: [on seeing Rachel, Cammie and Zoe for the first time] You know those girls?
Romero: Oh, yeah. They're here every morning around this time. Winding down. They have to in their line of work.
Violet: Are they hookers?
[passes Violet a matchbook]
Lil: I told ya not to break the rules.
Violet: What are you talking about?
Lil: I'm talking about you and your boyfriend making a scene in my bar. I'm talking about a friend of mine inside with a broken nose. The rules were simple, Jersey. I fired girls for a lot less.
Violet: What, so I can't have a boyfriend, now? What kind of stupid shit is that?
Lil: Hey, this place is my home. And I'm not willing to risk everything I have on your personal life. It's business, plain and simple.
Violet: This is not business. I work my ass off for you and you're supposed to be my friend!
Lil: I never said I was your friend. I'm your boss and you knew the rules like everybody else.
Violet: Will you stop with "the rules". It's a bar for Christ sake!
Lil: [hands Violet her guitar] Then what are you so upset about?
Violet: Do you have a reservation?
Lil: Uh, yeah, it's under, uh, "Cast Iron Heartless Bitch."
Violet: Could it be under "Stubborn and Pigheaded"?
Lil: Yes! That's the one.
Bill Sanford: [as Violet makes a sudden U-turn in a busy toll plaza] Did I happen to mention that I was recently in a horrific car accident?
Violet: Why won't you give up on this?
Kevin: Because I've been giving up on people my entire life and it's a nasty little habit, so you're going to sing at the club or...
Violet: Or you'll what?
Kevin: I'll never kiss you again.
Violet: That sounds like a threat, Mr. O'Donnell.
Kevin: Well, let's just say it's going to be quite a long, cold winter.
Violet: That's supposed to convince me?
Kevin: It's working, isn't it? Your knees are getting weak.
Bill Sanford: No, it's that for the first time in my life I was ashamed of you. I would have never thought that was possible.
Bill Sanford: No, it's not okay. I'm not going to make the same mistake twice. You're not going back to work for Pete. I don't care what it takes. I don't care how many bars you have to stand on. You are not coming home. I'm not letting you back in the house. Forget it.