3.4/10
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6 user 7 critic

Teenage Alien Avengers (1999)

Alien Arsenal (original title)
PG-13 | | Sci-Fi | TV Movie 18 May 1999
Two nerdish high school students turn into high-tech superheroes when they accidentally stumble onto a hidden cache of alien armor and weaponry in the school's basement. What will they do, ... See full summary »

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(as Julian Breen)
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Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
Josh Hammond ...
Ralph
Danielle Hoover ...
Baxter
...
Felicia
Kristian Howard ...
Flash (as Krisztián Kovács)
Jerrod Cornish ...
Monty
...
Lance
...
Chad
...
Phil
Stephanie Mennella ...
Jill
...
Bill
...
Mr. Lipkis
Brenda Blondell ...
Mrs. O'Houlihan
Brannon Gould ...
Manager
Matt Steveley ...
Waiter / Walter
Joe Danzo ...
Construction Worker #1
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Storyline

Two nerdish high school students turn into high-tech superheroes when they accidentally stumble onto a hidden cache of alien armor and weaponry in the school's basement. What will they do, though, when the extraterrestrial treasure's owner comes back to reclaim it? Written by Anonymous

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis

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Sci-Fi

Motion Picture Rating (MPAA)

Rated PG-13 for momentary language | See all certifications »

Parents Guide:

 »
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Details

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Language:

Release Date:

18 May 1999 (USA)  »

Also Known As:

Teenage Alien Avengers  »

Filming Locations:

 »

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Technical Specs

Runtime:

Sound Mix:

Color:

Aspect Ratio:

1.33 : 1
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Did You Know?

Trivia

All of the pyro effects were shot in one day. See more »

Connections

References Dawson's Creek (1998) See more »

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User Reviews

 
Julian Breen's Alien Arsenal
17 June 2002 | by (North Dakota) – See all my reviews

David DeCoteau directs under yet another pseudonym in this

cheap sci-fier that cannot coast on its likable cast alone.

Josh Hammond is Ralph, your typical high school nerd. The film

opens with him being chased around by some blonde hunks, all

of whom act and look the same. Ralph's best friend is the cute

tomboy Baxter, played by Danielle Hoover.

Ralph and Baxter happen upon a mysterious bricked-up room in

the basement of their high school. They open it, and discover

sophisticated alien weaponry inside. They loot the joint, taking

everything with them. The opening of the room sends a signal to a

spacecraft, and three aliens assume human form, come to Earth,

and investigate the arsenal's entry.

Meanwhile, Ralph begins getting a little alien weaponry-mad and

starts dispatching all the guys who picked on him, sending them

into an alternate dimension with the shot of a small gun. He

fancies himself a superhero, and starts wearing the alien armor in

public. The three aliens hire one of the bullies to work for them,

outfitting him in the same type of weapons and armor.

Baxter and Ralph then must battle the aliens, who plan on

eliminating the planet using the same room the arsenal was in.

If anything, the young cast here is attractive and fun to watch.

Hoover is cute as can be, and Hammond plays Ralph well as both

a nerd, and later a confident stud. DeCoteau's (or Breen's)

direction makes the most of the obviously limited budget. The

special effects are computer video based, but have a nice, colorful

quality to them that makes them interesting.

The screenplay, however, has large enough holes to maneuver

the Death Star through. How come the aliens can receive an

intergalactic message from Earth that the arsenal was opened, yet

have no idea where in the school it is located? Who walled up the

arsenal in the basement in the first place? If the arsenal is so

important to the aliens' destructive plans, why didn't they come

open it themselves? The finale pads itself by having Ralph and

Baxter wandering around the school looking for the aliens, when it

is really obvious they are back in the arsenal. Are Ralph and Baxter

orphans? I thought there might be some entertaining scenes as

the parents watched the duo become super heroes thanks to the

alien power, but moms and dads are not even mentioned. One

subplot, where the pair convince an athlete to turn into a nerd is

painfully unfunny. The only real adult who scores laughs is Brenda

Blondell, who plays the history teacher Mrs. O'Houlihan. Her

obsessions with obscure nineteenth century American treaties

and pacts is a riot.

The film is so laid back it becomes innocuous in its delivery. There

are a few curse words here and there, but the script feels slightly

altered as to not offend anyone, especially when you have

students using guns in school in this post-Columbine age. "Alien

Arsenal" is not the worst film you will ever see, but it might be one

of the most forgettable. I do not recommend it.

This is rated (PG13) for physical violence, gun violence, profanity,

and some sexual references.


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