Redwall (1999– )
Chickenhound: Hello? Is somebody there?
Asmodeus: Asssssssssssmodeusssss! Come with me, young foxie, I will show you eternity.
[Basil stops Cornflower from climbing a wall to save Matthias]
Basil: Forgive my hand but dash it, wasn't it a wise, young kitchen mouse who only this very morning insisted that climbing was best left to squirrels, what?
Cornflower: That was this morning. A lot has happened since then.
Basil: Seems to me, one way or another a lot happens since morning every day at Redwall. Haha! N'haha! What? N'hahaha!
Jess: What's Cluny up to?
Basil: Military ploy. Force the besieged to sweat. Fall out amongst themselves. I've seen it used before. It's a most effective tactic.
Constance: Hmph. Maybe you'd be happier fighting on his side.
Basil: [infuriated] Are you questioning my loyalty?
Voice of Martin the Warrior: I am that is! My sword shall wield for me!
[Basil is hiding]
Matthias: Come out... show yourself!
Basil: Show myself? How many pairs of eyes d'you need, what? Eh? Eh?
Matthias: I'm in no mood for games... come out!
[Basil appears behind him]
Basil: Basil Stag Hare, sir! At your service: expert scout, hind leg fighter, wilderness guide and... camouflage expert!
[Matthias looks at him like he's crazy]
Basil: Read your mind, sir! Neither mad, nor dangerous. Delighted to meet you, dear!
Matthias: Basil, What's a "smodeus"?
Basil: Asmodeus. Fearful serpentine, known locally as Old Poisonteeth. Lethal. Eats mice. Talking of which, I'm a bit peckish m'self! Naha!
[Constance holds up Sela the vixen]
Constance: And what about this traitor?
Abbot Mortimer: Oh, dear... yes, I suppose there must be some form of punishment, mustn't there?
Basil: Bury her up to her neck in red ants, then hang the wretch from the tower before you draw and quarter her? Or, we could let her go!
Constance: Are you crazy?
Basil: Not really, but Cluny is... I'm sure he will know how to deal with her!
Cluny: [mocking tone] Oh, my! Are you scared?
Cornflower: Yes... but I'll get over it. *You* are ugly, and there's no cure for that.
[Cluny is berating his captains]
Cluny: I hate failure! There is only one punishment for failure.
[slowly unsheathes blade]
Cluny: What... is... it?
Killconey: Death! Death by execution!
Cluny: Give me one good reason why I shouldn't add two more heads to my banner.
Killconey: We'll try much harder next time, Chief.
Darkclaw: Yes! Definitely much much harder!
Cluny: That's the best you can come up with?
Killconey: We're not that good with words.
[Cluny hits one of his hench-vermin; Basil walks in]
Basil: Officer striking an enlisted creature! Thumping bad form, old chap!
Cluny: Get him! Grab that hare! I want his head!
Basil: What's the matter? Own head not good enough? Haha! No! Lookit his face. Ugly-looking brute, aren't you? Haha! Haha!
Basil: My compliments to your boss... Cluny the Loony or whatever the dashed fellow's called!
Matthias: Please, Ivy, try to understand. This is our home. And it's in terrible danger.
Wild Ivy: And your friends think I'm helping this Cluny, do they?
Matthias: They aren't sure.
Wild Ivy: Well that's nice, isn't it? I come in, do a free show, and this is my thanks?
Warbeak: Warbeak killee killee killee killee! King Bull Sparra got 'em big sword. Chop all mouses up!
Warbeak: Warbeak prisoner of crazy mouseworm! Killit! Killee Killee Killee!
Mangiz the Seer: I will not stand here and be insulted by this... hedgepig!
Ambrose Spike: Then stand somewhere else and I'll insult you there, featherbag!
[Ragear is thinking of a good story to impress Cluny after his failure]
Ragear: All right... twenty there were, chief. I got nineteen but one escaped! Heh heh... yes, that's it. I let one go as a warning to the others...
Foremole: Now, don't whack him too hard, Matthias.
[Mattimeo enters and Foremole leaves]
Foremole: Mind you, give him a durn good whacking now!
Slagar the Cruel: I am Slagar the Cruel, and you are my slaves. Now listen closely - when I say you walk, you walk. When I say you run, you run. If I decide that you live, you live.
[pulls out bolas and starts twirling]
Slagar the Cruel: If I take it into my hands that you may not live... then you will die.
Slagar the Cruel: Now, move!
Baby Rollo: [singing repeatedly] Seek da founda in da stones, a ho, a ho.
Matthias: [trying to get Cheek to give information about the young ones' kidnapping] Let him go, Basil. *We've just enough time for a late lunch.* Then we'll be on our way. Whta do you say to a vegetable pasty and a drop of cider?
Jess: Thanks, but I'd rather down a couple of *bilsberry muffins* and a *nice thick chunk of cheese*.
Basil Stag Hare: Sliced nut breat and candied chestnuts. Eh, that should do it for me.
Cheek: [licks his lips and scutters over] I'm 'ungry.
Basil Stag Hare: Funny. I thought you were Cheek!
Cheek: Heh. Heh. He's funny, he is.
[pauses for several seconds, then licks his lips]
Slagar the Cruel: Tonight Redwall will discover the meaning of *pain.*
Matthias: Then let's put it to good use and start by freeing Basil.
Basil Stag Hare: *Ah,* greatly appreciated, doncha know.
Slagar the Cruel: What are you staring at, *mouse?*
Mattimeo: You should have killed me while you could, *fox.*
Slagar the Cruel: No. I've decided to let you live. To suffer.
Mattimeo: Then you're not only a cowardly murdering scum, you're a fool. Because from now on I live with one purpose only. To kill you.
Log-A-Log: But don't worry. We'll have you out in time for supper, Basil.
Matthias: Did you hear that?
Basil Stag Hare: Yes. *Supper!*
Flugg: You traitor!
Slagar the Cruel: Much like yourself, you traitorous shrew, *only I am good at it!*
Mattimeo: All I can say is, daughter of Orlando the Axe, *I'm glad you're on our side.*
Mangiz the Seer: And we will prevail!
Foremole: Prevail my paw! Shut it, you crazy bridbag! Redwall be *ours!*
Father Mordalfus: [Sister May comes up with a dastardly plot] Sister May! I'm shocked and surprised at you!... But what a good *idea!*
Constance: [to Ironbeak] Ho there! *Irontrousers,* or whatever you call yourself.
Sir Harry the Muse: [In awe] Though I'm the most poetic of birds, right now I'm at a loss for *words!*
Vitch: Don't worry they're friends.
Vitch: *Of me and Slagar.* Does that make you feel better?
Cheek: [about Basil] He's a grumpy old fromp. But I like him. *So there.*
Tess Churchmouse: I'm not building any filthy underground kingdom for a *talking statue!*
Basil Stag Hare: [kicking away a rat about to stab Orlando] *Tally ho.*
Cheek: Yeah! Tatty rats. Wanna face some *real* fights? C'mon! And show us what you got!
Matthias: Basil, if this doesn't work, make a run for the surface.
Basil Stag Hare: *Run?* Steady on there, lad! Maybe we should talk this over?
Mattimeo: [In the midst of battle] What took you so long?
Basil Stag Hare: Not that easy, doncha know.
[Fights off another rat]
Basil Stag Hare: Sooner we get this finished, the sooner we can *eat* again!
Mattimeo: I believe these belong to *you!*
[Hits rats with his chains]
Ironbeak: I'm sorry. I was wrong. *You* will be the first to die!
Constance: [Fighting the birds after escaping from the locked gatehouse] Sorry I'm late. Some creature *locked* me up.