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Redwall (TV Mini-Series 1999– ) Poster

(1999– )

Quotes

Chickenhound: Hello? Is somebody there?

Asmodeus: Asssssssssssmodeusssss! Come with me, young foxie, I will show you eternity.

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[repeated line]

Matthias: I am that is!

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[Basil stops Cornflower from climbing a wall to save Matthias]

Basil: Forgive my hand but dash it, wasn't it a wise, young kitchen mouse who only this very morning insisted that climbing was best left to squirrels, what?

Cornflower: That was this morning. A lot has happened since then.

Basil: Seems to me, one way or another a lot happens since morning every day at Redwall. Haha! N'haha! What? N'hahaha!

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Jess: What's Cluny up to?

Basil: Military ploy. Force the besieged to sweat. Fall out amongst themselves. I've seen it used before. It's a most effective tactic.

Constance: Hmph. Maybe you'd be happier fighting on his side.

Basil: [infuriated] Are you questioning my loyalty?

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Voice of Martin the Warrior: I am that is! My sword shall wield for me!

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[Basil is hiding]

Matthias: Come out... show yourself!

Basil: Show myself? How many pairs of eyes d'you need, what? Eh? Eh?

Matthias: I'm in no mood for games... come out!

[Basil appears behind him]

Basil: Basil Stag Hare, sir! At your service: expert scout, hind leg fighter, wilderness guide and... camouflage expert!

[Matthias looks at him like he's crazy]

Basil: Read your mind, sir! Neither mad, nor dangerous. Delighted to meet you, dear!

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Matthias: Basil, What's a "smodeus"?

Basil: Asmodeus. Fearful serpentine, known locally as Old Poisonteeth. Lethal. Eats mice. Talking of which, I'm a bit peckish m'self! Naha!

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[Constance holds up Sela the vixen]

Constance: And what about this traitor?

Abbot Mortimer: Oh, dear... yes, I suppose there must be some form of punishment, mustn't there?

Basil: Bury her up to her neck in red ants, then hang the wretch from the tower before you draw and quarter her? Or, we could let her go!

Constance: Are you crazy?

Basil: Not really, but Cluny is... I'm sure he will know how to deal with her!

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Cluny: [mocking tone] Oh, my! Are you scared?

Cornflower: Yes... but I'll get over it. *You* are ugly, and there's no cure for that.

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[Cluny is berating his captains]

Cluny: I hate failure! There is only one punishment for failure.

[slowly unsheathes blade]

Cluny: What... is... it?

Killconey: Death! Death by execution!

Cluny: Give me one good reason why I shouldn't add two more heads to my banner.

Killconey: We'll try much harder next time, Chief.

Darkclaw: Yes! Definitely much much harder!

Cluny: That's the best you can come up with?

Killconey: We're not that good with words.

Cluny: Silence!

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[Cluny hits one of his hench-vermin; Basil walks in]

Basil: Officer striking an enlisted creature! Thumping bad form, old chap!

Cluny: Get him! Grab that hare! I want his head!

Basil: What's the matter? Own head not good enough? Haha! No! Lookit his face. Ugly-looking brute, aren't you? Haha! Haha!

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Basil: My compliments to your boss... Cluny the Loony or whatever the dashed fellow's called!

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Matthias: Please, Ivy, try to understand. This is our home. And it's in terrible danger.

Wild Ivy: And your friends think I'm helping this Cluny, do they?

Matthias: They aren't sure.

Wild Ivy: Well that's nice, isn't it? I come in, do a free show, and this is my thanks?

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Warbeak: Warbeak killee killee killee killee! King Bull Sparra got 'em big sword. Chop all mouses up!

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Warbeak: Warbeak prisoner of crazy mouseworm! Killit! Killee Killee Killee!

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Mangiz the Seer: I will not stand here and be insulted by this... hedgepig!

Ambrose Spike: Then stand somewhere else and I'll insult you there, featherbag!

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[Ragear is thinking of a good story to impress Cluny after his failure]

Ragear: All right... twenty there were, chief. I got nineteen but one escaped! Heh heh... yes, that's it. I let one go as a warning to the others...

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Foremole: Now, don't whack him too hard, Matthias.

[Mattimeo enters and Foremole leaves]

Foremole: Mind you, give him a durn good whacking now!

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Slagar the Cruel: I am Slagar the Cruel, and you are my slaves. Now listen closely - when I say you walk, you walk. When I say you run, you run. If I decide that you live, you live.

[pulls out bolas and starts twirling]

Slagar the Cruel: If I take it into my hands that you may not live... then you will die.

[smashes bench]

Slagar the Cruel: Now, move!

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Mattimeo: You should have killed me back there!

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Baby Rollo: [singing repeatedly] Seek da founda in da stones, a ho, a ho.

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Matthias: [trying to get Cheek to give information about the young ones' kidnapping] Let him go, Basil. *We've just enough time for a late lunch.* Then we'll be on our way. Whta do you say to a vegetable pasty and a drop of cider?

Jess: Thanks, but I'd rather down a couple of *bilsberry muffins* and a *nice thick chunk of cheese*.

Basil Stag Hare: Sliced nut breat and candied chestnuts. Eh, that should do it for me.

Cheek: [licks his lips and scutters over] I'm 'ungry.

Basil Stag Hare: Funny. I thought you were Cheek!

[chuckles]

Cheek: Heh. Heh. He's funny, he is.

[pauses for several seconds, then licks his lips]

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[repeated line]

Baby Rollo: Stwabewwy cordial!

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Slagar the Cruel: Tonight Redwall will discover the meaning of *pain.*

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Basil Stag Hare: *A toast to toast!*

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Matthias: Then let's put it to good use and start by freeing Basil.

Basil Stag Hare: *Ah,* greatly appreciated, doncha know.

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Slagar the Cruel: What are you staring at, *mouse?*

Mattimeo: You should have killed me while you could, *fox.*

Slagar the Cruel: No. I've decided to let you live. To suffer.

Mattimeo: Then you're not only a cowardly murdering scum, you're a fool. Because from now on I live with one purpose only. To kill you.

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Log-A-Log: But don't worry. We'll have you out in time for supper, Basil.

Matthias: Did you hear that?

Basil Stag Hare: Yes. *Supper!*

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Log-A-Log: Let's see if you fight as bravely as you *talk.*

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Flugg: You traitor!

Slagar the Cruel: Much like yourself, you traitorous shrew, *only I am good at it!*

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Auma: Give me the right answer, turncoat, or you're *dead.*

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Mattimeo: All I can say is, daughter of Orlando the Axe, *I'm glad you're on our side.*

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Mangiz the Seer: And we will prevail!

Foremole: Prevail my paw! Shut it, you crazy bridbag! Redwall be *ours!*

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Father Mordalfus: [Sister May comes up with a dastardly plot] Sister May! I'm shocked and surprised at you!... But what a good *idea!*

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Jess: I *hate* to die this far from Redwall.

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Constance: [to Ironbeak] Ho there! *Irontrousers,* or whatever you call yourself.

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Slagar the Cruel: [Mockingly] *Oh, my hero.*

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Sir Harry the Muse: [In awe] Though I'm the most poetic of birds, right now I'm at a loss for *words!*

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Vitch: Don't worry they're friends.

[laughs]

Vitch: *Of me and Slagar.* Does that make you feel better?

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Orlando the Axe: Brave words from the *scum of the earth.*

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Cheek: [about Basil] He's a grumpy old fromp. But I like him. *So there.*

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Tess Churchmouse: I'm not building any filthy underground kingdom for a *talking statue!*

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Basil Stag Hare: [kicking away a rat about to stab Orlando] *Tally ho.*

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Cheek: Yeah! Tatty rats. Wanna face some *real* fights? C'mon! And show us what you got!

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Matthias: Basil, if this doesn't work, make a run for the surface.

Basil Stag Hare: *Run?* Steady on there, lad! Maybe we should talk this over?

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Mattimeo: [In the midst of battle] What took you so long?

Basil Stag Hare: Not that easy, doncha know.

[Fights off another rat]

Basil Stag Hare: Sooner we get this finished, the sooner we can *eat* again!

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Slagar the Cruel: The end is near, *mouse.*

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Mattimeo: I believe these belong to *you!*

[Hits rats with his chains]

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Ironbeak: I'm sorry. I was wrong. *You* will be the first to die!

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Constance: [Fighting the birds after escaping from the locked gatehouse] Sorry I'm late. Some creature *locked* me up.

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Mattimeo: [In shock as Cynthia figts] Cynthia! What happened to *you?*

Cynthia Vole: I got angry.

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Slagar the Cruel: Now we'll see what you're made of, *mouse.*

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Cornflower: Come, Constance. We have work to do.

[They leave the room]

Father Mordalfus: And *I'm* left holding the baby... As usual.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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