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Here we are again with yet another of those ever endearing, dementedly inept cut and splice ninja outings to spring forth from Hong Kong during the 1980's ninja-mania.
Plot wise these oddities seldom made much sense (as one would fully expect considering that two or sometimes even more films are being awkwardly edited together!) and it comes as little surprise therefore to find that this particular entry in the genre to be following the exact same trend. The bizarre story centres around an evil ninja (played by Cornish born actor Mike Abbott) trying to get his hands on a manual that will somehow (it's never explained how!) make him 'The Ultimate Ninja'(!) Added to this we have the story (from a separate film!) of Steve, who comes home one night to find his wife having intimate relations (ahem) with a young stud. Understandably none too impressed with this, Steve proceeds to give the young whippersnapper a jolly good beating. In fact such a beating that Steve, believing himself to have killed the man, is compelled to do a bunk and go on the run. He eventually ends up holed up in a house and holding the lone female occupant hostage. However, in a somewhat unlikely plot development, the woman ends up falling in love with him! Erm....fair enough.... But that's not all, for matters take an even more dramatic turn when a gang of ninja jewellery thieves decide to terrorise the pair and it is revealed that Steve is in fact a ninja to!!!!!!!
Meanwhile in the other (and much better) story, our evil head ninja is still trying to get his hands on the manual he so craves. However, wouldn't you just know it but the manual is held by, yes you've guessed it, yet another ninja!!! Bloody hell, is anyone actually NOT a ninja in these films?! Matters come to a climax in a public park (as most of these movies do!) wherein the two ninja battle it out to the death whereby we get to witness what must surely rank as one of the most abrupt screen exits in movie history!
So is any of this worth watching you may well ask. Well, whilst it has to be said that the segments in this centring around Steve's adventures are pretty much mind numbing, as usual the newly edited in ninja shenanigans are truly priceless! I'm not sure if Mike Abbott was given the chance to overdub his own voice (bearing in mind the ninja segments in these movies were recorded without sound) or another Cornish/West Country artist lent his voice to the lines but either way the end result is absolutely hilarious. You simply have not lived until you have witnessed a supposed evil ninja call various people 'baaaa-studs!' and in another scene, whilst rebuking one of his cronies, calling him 'A pain in the arrrse!'
Yes indeed, yet more quality crap from the Ho'ster! Highly recommended!
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