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5 out of 5 people found the following review useful:
Unintentionally one of the funniest movies ever made., 16 July 2005
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Author:
mayonnaiseorchid
As soon as i saw this movie's crude cover-art and oversize box I knew there was something special about it. After picking it up and reading the plot summary which read something like "an army of evil purple ninjas do battle with sadistic yellow ninja to stop an assassination plot", I eagerly handed over the dollar it cost me to buy it. From the very first scene full of bad voice dubbing and overacting and on through the movie which spliced together with unintentional comedic brilliance a cheap Asian action movie and the adolescent ninja musings of lead actor Stuart Smith and co., I was awed, even inspired by its tacked-on audacity. As soon as there's a point in the movie absurd enough to insert an out of left field ninja fight scene, here come the ninjas agreeing to a fight and then disappearing only to reappear in techni-color ninja outfits that look like they were bought in the children's halloween costume aisle at k-mart. Then follows slo-mo shots of our "ninjas" chucking cymbals and surikens at each other where ultimately one color of ninja must die so the other can do a back flip into oblivion. This production co. has put out a plethora of similar tack-on ninja flicks that are equally absurd and hilarious, of which I have seen many. These movies embody the true spirit of the cult website realultimatepower.com. Much praise to visionary mavericks such as these and film-maker Andy Sidaris for spawning a new genre: Action movies so awful they are hilarious.
3 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
Ninja!, 20 December 2005
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Author:
saccharinmetric from Australia
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
Ninja Kill is another Richard Harrison hachet job, but remarkably,
Ninja Kill asserts itself as a film from what must be at least three
source films. A profound lack of connection between the stories of the
ninjas and the drug/gun/women runners in Thailand/Malaysia extends all
the way to the eyeball-searingly different film stock.
Some absolutely remarkable moments make Ninja Kill perhaps the greatest
cheese Ninja epic outside of Ninja vs. Mafia.
- Our hero leaps from the back of a galloping yak and shoots two thugs
with a six-shooter before he hits the ground. The stunt, incredibly,
despite all odds, looks fantastic.
- The gang-rape scene is more of a violation of the audience than the
victim.
Some spoilers concerning the ending, so avoid this paragraph if you
don't wish to have the completely nonsensical ending ruined.
- The climax is cinema's finest moment, as far as I am able to discern
into the future. Two ninjas (not really identified) sprint to the top
of different hills to ersatz japanopop and upon reaching the top,
bellow "NINJA" at each other, complete with wild zoom shots. They flip
forward, which according to the Richard Harrison School of Ninja, means
you teleport into battle. They fight exceedingly poorly for all of 20
seconds, and then our boy RH flips out of scene, backwards, and 'THE
END' pops up brutally with a clash as the tape cuts out.
I pray that somewhere there is a copy of this film to fill the image
here at IMDb.
1 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
What pretty costumes!, 26 April 2006
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Author:
HaemovoreRex from United Kingdom
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
Ah.....here we are again with yet another formulaic - albeit great fun,
cut and splice ninja outing as bequeathed unto us by that master of
quality crap, Mr Joseph Lai.
Interestingly and quite a rarity in these type of movies, the original
film into which the newer ninja segments have been edited is in fact
mildly engaging in its own right and actually has a few fairly good
scenes to offer. However, I won't bore you with the details of
that...no.....you want to know about the ninja action right?
Well it's brightly coloured for starters.....oh yes.....in fact so
bright are the luminous togs that these guys are wearing, it will
probably necessitate you to wear sunglasses!
Genre regular Richard Harrison once again plays a character named
Gordon who (as always in these films) every now and then throughout the
movie, battles various disposable ninja cronies. At the films climax,
as per usual, he must face the head evil ninja played here by that
perennial bad guy (and endearingly atrocious actor!) Stuart Smith.
As regards this climatic duel - Smith's demise is certainly noteworthy
as its brought about via the utilisation of a pair of cymbals!!! Yes
you did indeed read that correctly!
What can I say? - Tremendous fun from start to finish and a must for
fans of bad movies!
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