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Why did I pick this movie up to begin with? I knew what I was getting myself into from the start, but that sure didn't stop me. Deep within, from my innermost desire to hurt myself cinematically, a voice screamed "forward ho!!" with such enthusiasm and vigor that can only make you wonder if you really are in control of your life.
Getting home and sliding this attack on all that is decent into my VCR was the only thing on my mind for the rest of the night, and when I finally did, I took some notes to record how I was feeling; they look something like this: "Ninja Hunt? Where's the hunt?--- NO! Those people aren't even in the SAME ROOM! How can you expect us to believe two people are talking, if they aren't in the SAME ROOM?? It's just, it- no! NO!! It doesn't make sense!! NO sense! ARGGH!!--- AHh! Another ninja battle!!? YES I KNOW you are a ninja!! The writing on your HEADBAND saying "NINJA" tells me that!! WHAT? NO!! Weapons don't DISAPPEAR when they hit the ground!! Why do you expect me to believe this!?!? HOW can you expect me to believe that!? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?? WHY???? WHY!??"---
At the end of the movie was when I understood the full extent of damage this movie had done to me. It was then that I realized that I was going to be alone for the rest of my life. There was no way anything pure and innocent could ever love me from then on, because this movie, this heinous work of film had destroyed me. It had destroyed and broken me in a way that is so horrible, so hideous, it is reserved for Vietnamese POW camps and the ninth ring of hell.
Final judgement: Death
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