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Scott P. Levy
Five teenagers embark on a boating trip off the coast of Florida. The teens get hopelessly lost at sea after they get caught in a fierce storm. Fortunately, the quintet stumble across an abandoned yacht in the middle of the ocean with a mysterious biology lab on board it. Unfortunately, there are also ferocious mutated prehistoric fish running amok on the yacht. Will any of the teens survive this harrowing ordeal? Written by
Italian 80's horror movies always feel like sketchy territory. The actors are always too shiny, everything is lit like a porno and the Italians in the 80's couldn't act. Well, at least not the ones in this movie. Plankton starts off as a typical s--tty Italian horror movie but seems to make all the right choices. Out of nowhere you go from bored to enthralled. To this day I've never seen another film with homosexual fish sex. I think Plankton is the first.
Four teenagers decide it's a good idea to get into a motorboat and ride into the sunset (and into the middle of the ocean). Predictably they get lost and run out of gas. Soon they are lamely paddling their way through a stormy dark night, crying in the rain. On the verge of death they randomly bump into a huge metal ship floating in the middle of nowhere. Desperate, they climb aboard to seek shelter. They soon find that the ship is half laboratory and half 80's Italian bachelor pad complete with a stocked bar and sexy neon lights. They also find that the ship is strangely empty.
The film moves on with stumbling acting, horrible lighting and a basic disinterest in creating a well made film. There are strange unexplained things like a cartoon fish on the wall with a little girls voice that screams at everyone and a robot shower that wants to have sex with you and screams, "USE YOUR FINGERS!" over and over again. One of the more funny moments of the film happens early on when, as the girls are changing, one girl holds her boobies up to the camera and declares, "I think I need a new bra!" Then things start to get strange. They start hearing strange noises, one teenager will flip out and start screaming and crying and the next minute they will be fine again. The main character, Mike, starts snooping around and finds out that the ship was researching prehistoric piranha for a few years. The piranha are gay fish with unusually large genitals. For real. He actually says this out loud! Now here's the kicker: The scientists are all gay too and they have been fu--ing the fish for years! Apparently gay sex leads to mutations because all the scientists have either turned into huge gay fish or have been eaten by huge gay fish. Slowly the teenagers each fall to similar fates.
In the world of bizarre 80's Italian horror films this is right up their with Nightmare Beach and um . I guess those are the only two I know. So it's definitely in the top 10! But for director Massimiliano Cerchi this is old news. He went on to direct such classics as Satan Claus, Brainmaster, The Mummy Theme Park and Carnage Road. His IMDb page is so impressive Face Melting Films is thinking about building a guide for the guy. Plankton is something that has to be seen to be believed and even though I've seen it I still don't believe it!
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