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|Index||14 reviews in total|
Put yourself in my shoes. You're walking through your local
Blockbuster. You've gone through all the new releases, not finding
anything worth watching. Finally, you get to the V's. Sitting there is
a movie called Vampires Anonymous. Always a fan of a camp fest, you
pick it up. But who is it on the cover? Why it's one of your favorite
under-appreciated actors Michael Madsen sitting on a motorcycle. You
read the back of the box that says the movie is about a 12 step program
for Vampires. Low budget. Little known. This has to be bad.
Then you watch it. And to your delight, it's surprisingly good. Has a good amount of dark humor. Really original story. Some fun action sequences. Only gripe is could have had a little more Madsen. But that's alright. Because the movie was still enjoyable without him.
All in all, this is a good film. Nice to see an original take on the vampire theme. Sometimes that can blow up in your face like the Dracula musical on Broadway at the moment that's bombing hard. But this film has just the right mix of action/drama/humor to keep you interested.
After eating his beloved girlfriend, the vampire Vic Weller (Paul
Popowich) admits that has a problem and joins a 12-step program called
"Vampires Anonymous" to get rid of the habit of drinking human blood.
He goes to a meeting and is submitted to a test, where it is determined
that he should replace human by sheep blood. His sponsor Geno (Michael
Madsen) and the program relocate Vic to Rock Creek, in North Caroline,
where he falls in love for the local Maggie Miller (Nicole Forester).
However, the disappearance of sheep attracts the attention of a vampire
slayer and the police, getting Vic into trouble.
"Vampires Anonymous" is an enjoyable film, with an analogy to the AA for vampires in an original story. There is dark humor, romance and many funny situations. This movie is neither a masterpiece nor a crap, just a pleasant entertainment. My vote is six.
Title (Brazil): "Vampiros Anônimos" ("Vampires Anonymous")
I just saw this movie as part of San Jose's Cinequest Film Festival, and I must say it is very well done considering the budget they had to work with. The storyline is brilliant, and the dialogue is hilarious. The main character, Vic, is tired of always succumbing to bloodlust and killing the people he loves, so he enrolls in a 12-Step program called Vampires Anonymous which tells him that he should switch to sheep, and move to North Carolina. Here he meets the girl of his dreams, and much humour ensues. According to the filmmakers, they are attempting to get it out on video by the end of the year, so if you didn't get a chance to see it in the theatres, you will get your opportunity. I highly recommend this movie as a break from some of the normal Buffy-esque vampire lore (which is fantastic in its own right) that is so common these days. I give it 10 Stars!
After giving up his cravings and murdering his own girlfriend, Vic
joins Vampires Anonymous to try and kick the habit. He relocates, goes
through a 12-step program, and survives off sheep blood. Things get
complicated when the locals complain about their dwindling sheep
flocks. A would-be cop named Diesel starts investigating the strange
occurrences, while a corporate vampire hunter closes in on Vic as well.
Generally, I do not like vampire films because they seem to copy one another and are rarely ever scary. And while this one wasn't scary by any means, it was at least interesting by putting a new spin on an old subgenre. This featured a clever script with many in-jokes. I particularly liked the parallels of Vic's hunger for blood and Diesel's need for alcohol. These urges hold back both characters in different ways. Whether either character can overcome their flaws affects the outcome of the film.
There is a lot of fun to be had here too. Michael Madsen plays Geno, Vic's program partner and confidante. Neil D'Monte plays Juan Rodrigo, a lovelorn vampire, doing a spot-on impression of Antonio Banderas. Small animals are "snack food" at the VA meetings, Vic reads "CosmoVamp" magazine, vampires get silicone poisoning after biting Swedish Bikini girls with breast implants, and while attempting to bleed a sheep, Vic is mistaken for a sheep f*cker by a redneck farmer.
The ending culminates into a cool showdown with Vic, his lady, and the vampire hunter running through a haunted house. It was pretty funny watching them push around the clueless people that mistook them for either employees using fake scare tactics or customers looking for some scares.
The sound and film quality were pretty good. They used several real animals like mice, birds, and sheep. The SFX were good when used. However, this was a comedy, so there was minimal gore. The vampire teeth looked realistic as opposed to the plastic ones I have seen used in other films.
Favorite Quote: Vic to Maggie, "It's because I'm a vampire, isn't it? Are you afraid they won't let you in the sorority? Afraid they'll whisper, There goes the vampire-f*cker?" DVD Extras: Sadly, there were none! Only Scene Selections all by it's lonesome. I suggest a Special Edition re-release featuring commentary and Behind the Scenes footage.
Bottom Line: Refreshingly original take on the Vampire subgenre. Huge on laughs, but lacking in scares.
Rating: 7/10 Molly Celaschi www.HorrorYearbook.com
This movie was so good. I laugh so hard each time I watch it. The
hidden comedy is so deliciously dark it makes this movie even better. I
can't wait to see what they come up with next. I have successfully
infected everyone I know..including my own mother by making them watch
this film. I admit that at first they all didn't want to have to sit
through it because it seemed a bit silly from the title and description
but none of them were disappointed.
If you are looking for an awesome dark comedy with excellent music, check this one out. My only complaint is that I can't find any merchandise like bumper stickers or T-shirts. I am thinking Christmas gifts would be a wonderful way to spread the news! To all of those who watched this movie and didn't "get" it... Dude, you rock!
Admitting your problem is hard
now for vampires there's a twelve step
program to overcome their addictive craving for human blood, but this
recovery process is sure to bring on the cold turkey. "Vampire
Anonymous" is a quirky and hip, if smartly realised low-budget vampire
comedy that is enjoyably charming despite the familiar developments.
Vic Weller (a likable Paul Popowich) makes a call to Vampires Anonymous
(1- 800-555-BITE) after biting yet again another girlfriend. Signing up
to this group, he takes a test which picks out sheep as his best choice
for blood source and his relocated to a small country town with Geno (a
laconic Michael Madsen) as his sponsor whenever he needs advice.
However the program doesn't seem to be working as he brings attention
to his drinking habits as he slowly begins to fall off the wagon, as an
underpaid corporate vampire slayer (a perfectly bitchy Michelle
Stafford) gets on his trail and the police start investigating the
disappearance of the town's depleting sheep population. Also he has
taken a liking to the sweet Maggie Miller (the lovely Nicole Forester).
The story is an amusingly sharp spin on addiction and the help that is
offered in overcoming it. Satirically biting and creative in its
comical situations, but the small town dramas are systematic, so is the
"Don't be an f**king sheep in your next life."
The idea of a twelve step program for recovering vampires, is a solid, original, premise. The "Vampires Anonymous" meeting and eccentric members, including Michael Madsen, got things off to a fast start. After the promising opening, the script seems to wander in and out of "black comedy", with nowhere to go. In the end, there are unexplainable lapses in logic that weaken the movie. Really not violent enough for the horror crowd, really not totally a successful comedy, really in parts too clever for it's own good, really lacking chemistry between the leads, really bad southern accents, really no nudity for a film where it might have helped, but still creative enough to entertain. Marginally recommended. - MERK
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
VAMPIRES ANONYMOUS is the story of Vic (Paul Rudd lookalike Paul
Popowich), a 500+ year old vampire who decides to kick the habit. This
leads him to the titular support group where he meets a variety of
weirdos, including his sponsor, mobster Geno (the scene-stealing
Michael Madsen). After Vic's placement exam, it's determined that he is
best suited for sheep's blood, so he's relocated to a sleepy North
Carolina town with sheep farms. It's there that he makes friends, falls
in love, terrorizes the farm animals and is hunted by a slayer.
Popowich is quite charismatic in the role, which works in the film's favor -- with a lesser actor, the movie certainly could have been disastrous. Madsen devours the scenery and manages to upstage his costars at every given opportunity. Steve Monroe also deserves a mention for his charming characterization of the (possibly mentally challenged) drunk who Vic befriends . The premise is pretty original, the direction's quite good, the locations made for some nice visuals and the acting far surpasses what one would expect from a no-name film. Okay, now that the praise is out of the way...
There'e some unevenness and serious errors in logic, and I can't quite figure out if it was in the script or a result of the editing. I tend to think most of it's the latter. SPOILERS AHEAD. In addition to the sheep, Vic relapses and kills several people. Yet through the rest of the movie, these missing persons seem to go unnoticed by the townsfolk -- and trust me, these are the kinds of people who you'd notice were absent. Instead we're treated to insert after insert of missing sheep posters. I might be okay with that if not for the discovery of the bodies. It's not suspending disbelief to think that Vic could dump the sheep where he did, but I have a bit of trouble believing he could have dragged the people -- and a totaled vehicle -- to this location. Next up, after one date, we keep seeing Vic in his girlfriend's bedroom fighting off the urge to bite her. It's unclear if he sneaked in or if he was bedding there, though one would would assume it's the latter when he handcuffs himself to a chair opposite her bed. This seems hard to believe considering she lives with her overprotective father. The finale of the film is perhaps the most illogical. Vic is impaled, but miraculously he's undead and well in the next scene. No explanation. The rest of the film is riddled with Vic's narration but here, where we could truly use it, nothing. Also, there's a shift in tone during the transitions from support group to N.C., and it's never quite clear why V.A. members are showing up in N.C. (though according to an extra who posted on the message boards here, a huge chunk of the footage that was shot with the V.A. members in N.C. wound up on the cutting room floor). Sadly the DVD features no extras whatsoever, so if there's any explanation to these inconsistencies, it remains a mystery.
Despite the handful of problems I had with the logic (or lack thereof), I was entertained by the movie and found myself liking the characters. That's more than I can say for a lot of no-name indies.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
Vampires Anonymous starts in Los Angeles where Vampire Vic Weller (Paul
Popowich) needs help controlling his addiction to blood so he calls
Vampires Anonymous who run a twelve step program for Vampires. A
program designed to make Vampires not want to drink human blood & be
there if they need help or are having trouble, the first step is
apparently to 'admit you have a problem' & ends with 'smile, your a
winner!' although there's lots of hard work & temptation to overcome
between. Vic gets packed of to Rock Creek, North Carolina where he has
to blend in with the locals & feed on the blood of sheep but Vic finds
it hard to suppress the Vampire within himself...
Co-written, co-produced & directed by Michael Keller I have to say right off the bat that I hated Vampires Anonymous., of course this is just my opinion & I'm in no way saying that you will definitely hate it but I think there's a fair chance the majority of potential viewers will find much more to hate in Vampires Anonymous than like. The script by Keller & J.P. Srinivasan is the biggest problem here, again this is just my opinion but I thought it was terrible. Vampires Anonymous is supposed to be some sort of light hearted comedy horror romance with a pinch of biting satire about therapy groups & psychiatric help thrown in there for good (bad?) measure. If that basic story outline makes you laugh then you may enjoy Vampires Anonymous but I thought it was an awful attempt at trying to be clever & funny & different, Vampires Anonymous is one of the most unfunny comedies I've ever seen & the makers can't even pull off a good sheep shagging farmer joke. The genre of horror comedy is very hard to pull off & the makers of this fail in spectacular fashion, the horror elements are none existent, the romance is so cheesy & predictable I almost threw up & it took me four sittings of twenty odd minutes each to get through this because I literally couldn't get through it one go.
Director Keller turns in a competent film & that's the only reason this turd gets two stars out of ten rather than one. It's not scary, it's definitely not funny, there's no tension, it's utterly predictable, the story is all over the place, the character's are unlikable, the dialogue sucks & I found it a real chore to sit through. I didn't like it. At all. Forget about any gore, there's a couple of neck bitings & a bit of blood drinking otherwise nothing. No nudity either. According to the closing credits Vampires Anonymous was edited by the interesting named Farm Dog, either that it was was literally edited by a farm dog.
Technically the film is fine & is really the only positive aspect of it but since it sucks so bad in every other way does it really matter? Shot in Burlington in North Carolina apparently, I doubt this is going to do much for the tourist numbers though. I have some advice for Michael Madsen, get a new agent considering some of the crap he's been in. I mean from the classy Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003) to this as his next film?! Having said that the quotes 'I probably made a few pictures I shouldn't have done, but I have four sons and I have to pay the rent. If you have a decision to make about whether or not you can buy groceries at the market or whether or not you're going to make a bad movie, you're going to make a bad movie.' & 'My career has been very strange. My career is like a heart monitor. I get involved in a good project now and then to keep things going. And then I make things that I work on that I hope are going to be good so I can make a living and keep a roof over the heads of those little monsters I have in my house. You know, every movie you make can't be great, no matter who you are. Even Brando made some clinkers.' from his page on the IMDb explains why he makes rubbish like Vampires Anonymous. We all have to pay the rent I suppose.
Vampires Anonymous sucks as much as the Vampires in the film, I'm sorry but I really disliked every aspect of the story & found it so unfunny & moronic it's untrue. If your looking for biting satire go elsewhere, if your looking for some laughs go elsewhere, if your looking for some horror go elsewhere & if your looking to be entertained go elsewhere.
Move over LeStat! Vic's in town and he's jonesin' for some plasma without killing another girlfriend to get it. Join Michael Madsen (emphasis on the word 'mad) and an outstanding cast of comic actors spending time with the vampire homies. Watch the incredible lead actor ace his 'vampire test' and get an assignment to help him kick the red sauce. Then guffaw as you watch him implement his personal 12-step program. With all the kitsch vampire movies being released, it was wonderful to watch a funny, original film that brings new blood to the genre. Polished performances, tight script, believable acting (you'll love 'Diesel'), talented direction make an enjoyable date movie.
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