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Teenage Nurses (1974)

X  |   |  Adult  |  1 September 1975 (Sweden)
4.0
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The world's first Vaudeville/Musical/Porno Movie. Doug Collins and Avind Harum had made a hilarious but unsaleable film called, "An American in Bethesda". Viet Nam vets in the Bethesda VA ... See full summary »

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(as Oscar Tripe) ,
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Title: Teenage Nurses (1974)

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Cast

Cast overview:
Valerie Marron ...
The Head Nurse (as Veronica Melon)
Jeffrey Hurst ...
Dr. Canute (as George Hawks)
Laura Cannon ...
The Red Baroness (as Janet Chambers)
Fred J. Lincoln ...
Fred (as Fred Perna)
...
Patient Next to Joe (as Dorian Patch)
Nancy Wang ...
Nurse Le Ahn
Sandi Foxx ...
Nurse Lovelace (as Sandy Morelli)
Haya Landau ...
Nurse Leila
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Storyline

The world's first Vaudeville/Musical/Porno Movie. Doug Collins and Avind Harum had made a hilarious but unsaleable film called, "An American in Bethesda". Viet Nam vets in the Bethesda VA Hospital are entertained by various Vaudeville performers; comedians, tap dancers, singers, Adagio Dancers with a 12 foot python, etc. During the show, the patients, including one amputee, have sex with the hospital's nurses. Doug couldn't sell this thing to anybody so Bill Markle and I bought it, added some more sex scenes, a laugh track, and sold it to Teddy and Tom, the Greeks who owned the Capri Theater as, "Teenage Nurses." Audiences were horrified, the Greeks were pissed, and Al Goldstein said the following about Teenage Nurses, "Pornography loses its innocence, and succumbs to moral rot in this puker." I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Written by Shaun Costello

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis

Genres:

Adult

Certificate:

X
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Details

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Release Date:

1 September 1975 (Sweden)  »

Also Known As:

The Youngest Nurses  »

Company Credits

Production Co:

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Did You Know?

Trivia

Teenage Nurses played at New York's Capri Cinema for 9 weeks, from 14 May - 15 July 1974, one of the longest runs in the history of the cinema. See more »

Goofs

Shaun Costello plays two characters. One is Joe the patient. The other is a TV reporter wearing Groucho Marx glasses. This reporter calls himself Walter Boynton, then later Arthur Boynton, then back to Walter etc. for no apparent reason. It is impossible to tell just what the character name really is due to what appears to be a continuity error. See more »


Soundtracks

There Will Never Be Another You
(uncredited)
Composed by Harry Warren
Lyrics by Mack Gordon
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User Reviews

A prankster's apotheosis
23 February 2015 | by (New York, New York) – See all my reviews

His inverted values showing, Shaun Costello has written the IMDb synopsis for his paste-up job TEENAGE NURSES and seems to take rude delight in how crummy it is. I'm a big fan of his better work, but this clunker is literally unwatchable.

Times have changed and the film's making fun of the VA hospital and the veterans who stay there has lost its satirical edge and emerges as merely poor taste 40 years later, with the usual (if unfair) "how did you manage to dodge the draft, Shaun?" a logical reaction. The clownish auteur may think this farrago is funny, but it is lame from start to finish.

In fact, Costello's frequent interruptions wearing a Halloween fake nose and glasses on his face as a newscaster are horrendously unfunny, as is his running gag of perpetrating a "no comment" Sam Donaldson interview outside the hospital over and over. He also throws himself into the film as a vet in a bed near Jamie Gillis to get serviced by the nurses, en route to a staggeringly amateurish climax of Costello hobbling down the street on crutches - cut to insert shot of nurses yelling "Look out!" and our paste-up auteur is run over by a hit and run driver. Cut back to filler of him still alive (out of sequence) back in Ward F humping while the crummy laugh track plays.

The earlier film of vaudeville acts is no better, featuring singers, dancers and a band that make the guests on the late Joe Franklin's TV amateur show look talented. A sexy, oiled-up belly dancer was about the only tolerable performer on view.

Of course, bamboozling the public is nothing new in show biz, but I can't understand how SC can be proud in his dotage of insulting the customers who I must remind him helped him make a living by going to his films. I've sat through 50 Costello movies (although only six back at theaters in the '70s and '80s, the rest via video revivals) and I would rate this sow's ear converted into an even worse sow's ear the SKIDOO of his career, using Otto Preminger (all of whose films I've seen) as the yardstick.


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