Qualifying as a roughie, COLD FEET is a little-known but worthwhile hardcore porn film that tries to be different. That is always an asset in pornography, and depending upon one's taste this can be a rewarding departure from the XXX norm.
Film was reissued some years ago by Something Weird Video but in 2015 has resurfaced from Alpha Blue Archives in a much longer (full-length) version as a tribute to Starlyn Simone under its original title LOVE ON TOP, which IMDb dates back to 1971.
Anonymous filmmakers toyed with artsy photography, which is the film's chief drawback. Frequently during the sex scenes they incorporate kaleidoscopic optical effects, at least doubling/mirroring the image, which changes the explicit closeups to abstract images, for no reason. There is no psychedelic subplot or any point to these affectations -just showing off that fails.
Attractive heroine Betty is being neglected by her fiancée Bill. He's a real loser, who even fantasizes about another woman when masturbating, and shows zero enthusiasm when asked about their upcoming wedding, for which no firm date has been set.
Opening reels stress each protagonist taking a shower (and masturbating). After Betty goes shopping, Bill calls up his favorite hooker Jackie (luscious Starlyn Simone) and invites her over for a trick. She sends fellow lady of the evening Sandy Carey ahead to ritualistically warm Bill up (almost like a fluffer). The two girls service Bill together, also putting him in a dog collar and tying him up spread-eagled in bondage while they lightly whip him with a riding crop.
Film takes an unexpected and rather dramatic turn when Betty returns home. Instead of the predictable shock and dismay on Betty's part, instead the hookers tie Betty up, and then tie up Bill's privates, too. Sandy phones two guys to join the party, and they arrive, making fun of Bill as each humps his fiancée. Threat of violence ("I'll break your neck!" is a recurring line voiced not only by the thugs but also by Bill) is there, but the film is about sex. The rape is shot soft core, with Betty crying and whimpering but in some shots seeming to enjoy it (typical of porn).
Act III magnifies the strangeness. The "baddies" have all left, and Betty wakes up, untying Bill. She goes upstairs to take another shower and Bill sits in soul-searching mode. The door bell rings, and it's the creeps returned for a second helping with Betty. The uglier of the two nicknamed "Buzzard" is an Arch Hall Jr.-lookalike, and he goes upstairs to hump Betty, still wet from the shower. The other guy, as clean-cut as any preppy from central casting, stays downstairs to insult Bill.
Bill puts up no resistance, and the guys leave again, threatening Betty that they'll be back in a year or so for more. Betty packs her suitcases and leaves without a word.
This rather depressing exercise impressed me with its own inner logic and lack of predictability, sort of a wimpmeister's take on STRAW DOGS. The fact that Howard Alexander as Bill looks a lot like the young Bill Murray (including his hairstyle) and is even named Bill adds to the film's panache. By a very weird coincidence, the unknown actor who holds Bill hostage while his buddy Buzzard is upstairs humping Bill's wife looks identical to Kevin Nealon, a later "Saturday Night Live" alum, even wearing Nealon's familiar smug smile.
Ron Darby as "Buzzard" has an overacting field day -fans of uninhibited hams will want to witness this nasty performance. I liked the actress who played Betty -someone needs to identify her -she is quite distinctive looking with a cleft chin a la Kirk Douglas.
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